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Tag: friendship

  • Advice Column: Confiding in husbands friend

    Advice Column: Image found on google.com/images

    The Question: Confiding in husbands friend, is it okay to confide in him?

    I feel like I can talk to him better than my husband. When I try to talk to my hubby [sic] he just doesn’t listen. His friend listens to me and tells me his opinion on things, and no he is not trying to get me in his bed. This guy is not like that. What is your opinions on this subject?

    My Response:

    Dear confidant;

    It’s a tough call, the guy is your husbands friend so it may be a little awkward for your husband if he knows that you are going to his friend for advice. You really should be able to talk to your husband, he should be your confidant (your best friend, go to guy) and if he can’t sit down and talk to you, then you need to make sure to get his attention and tell him how you feel. Explain to him that you want to talk to him and you feel like he doesn’t listen. If he still doesn’t listen then it’s his own fault for pushing you towards his friend, I just hope what you are saying is true and that this friend isn’t “that type of guy”, unfortunately as a women we believe that, and we truly think these guys are only our friends, but unfortunately guys think way differently than we do and sometimes emotions may change, so be careful. I also hope that you truly just see it as a friendship and nothing more. Remember you are married, if you really love your husband talk to him, and try to make him understand what you are feeling. Good Luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Yahoo.com (2010)

  • Advice Column: We are both girls and I like my best friend

     

    Advice Column: We are both girls and I like my best friend. Image found on flickr.com
    Advice Column: We are both girls and I like my best friend. Image found on flickr.com

    Advice Column: We are both girls and I like my best friend. Should I tell her how I feel?

    I know I like her, but I don’t know how to tell her. Please help.

    My Response:

    Dear Gay Friend;

    There are many things that can happen with this situation. It depends if your friend likes girls. Is she gay? If she isn’t then this can be an awkward conversation and you can take the chance of losing your best friend.
    If she is gay, you are still taking the chance of losing a friend. You want to really make sure this is what you want, before you do it. If your friend doesn’t know you are gay, then this may be something you want to start off with. Think about it before you go through with it, because sometimes a friendship is way more important than trying to date a friend.

    xo

    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Yahoo.com

     

  • Advice Column: I caught my friend masturbating

     

    Advice Column: I caught my friend masturbating. Image found on flickr.com
    Advice Column: I caught my friend masturbating. Image found on flickr.com

    Advice Column: I caught my friend masturbating, what should I do?

    We are both 15 year old girls and we don’t live together and we do not have relationship, besides friends; whatsoever at all. So we were both sleeping next to each other like usual cause I had invited her over for a sleep over. I fell asleep and woke up to the sound of her shaking and other embarrassing noises. It was only obvious what she was doing. In a panic, I pretended to be asleep until she was finished. Then she fell asleep. Now I’m writing this completely oblivious as to what to do and why would she do that in someone else’s house, and right next to her friend? Please help and thank you.

    My Response:

    Dear Friend;

    There really isn’t an answer I can give you. It is a bit strange that she masturbating right next to you, and I can see how this can be very weird for you. Maybe she get’s turned on with the fact that someone is so close to her. Her hormones can be going a hundred miles an hour and who knows what she is really thinking. But these are questions that only she can answer. This can be a very awkward question to ask a friend, but if she didn’t want to be embarrassed then she probably shouldn’t have been masturbating right next you. There are only two things you can do, ask her straight up. Tell her you woke up and heard her, and you hadn’t said anything because you really just didn’t know what to do. See what she tells you and go on from there. Or you can simply ignore this happened. I wouldn’t sleep next to her on the next sleep over though, if you plan on just ignoring this.

    xo

    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Yahoo.com

  • Advice Column: I like my brother’s best friend

     

    Advice Column: I like my brother's best friend. Image found on flickr.com
    Advice Column: I like my brother’s best friend. Image found on flickr.com

    Advice Column: I like my brother’s best friend. We flirt sometimes, but I don’t know if he really likes me, what should I do?

    My friends brother is a year older than me and I started being interested in him. I started hanging out with his friends a lot more often and I see him a lot. He always smiles at me and teases me and will flirt with me. And tonight his friend stole my phone and to his friend [sic] I was like “omg I’m gonna kill you!” And then my crush was like “not until I kill you first” and he said it really sexually and was really close to me. I really like him. I don’t know if he likes me because when we were playing truth or dare, my friend asked him if he liked me and he said “Yeah sure.. I like a lot of people” and I was like what…? Does he like me, please help?

    (Edited)

    My Response:

    Dear Brother’s Sister;

    Going after your brother’s best friend can have consequences. You can ruin your brothers friendship if something were to happen, your brother may not approve or it can work out all for the best. If you really like him and you are sure he’s been flirting back, then just ask him. But make sure you are ready for either answer. He may just be nice to you, and like you as his best friend’s sister. So be prepared if it’s not the answer you really want.

    xo

    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Yahoo.com

  • Advice Column: Is my best friend into me?

     

    Advice Column: Is my best friend into me? image found on flickr.com
    Advice Column: Is my best friend into me? image found on flickr.com

    Question: Is my best friend into me?

    How to know if my best friend is now into me?

    Response: 

    Just ask, it’s as simple as that. I know it’s easier said than done, but only true answers come from asking questions. If you don’t want things to be awkward then leave things alone. I don’t know the details of your relationship or why you think your best friend might be into you but it could be nothing.

     

    xo,

    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Yahoo.com

  • Advice Column: What should I do?

     

    Advice Column: What should I do? Image found on flickr.com
    Advice Column: What should I do? Image found on flickr.com

    The Question:

    What should I do?

    Ok so, I’m a guy. This girl and I are best friends, but she has a boyfriend. I like her a lot, unconditionally and conditionally, but just a little. But for some reason it bothers me that they’re dating. It may have to do with me fearing for our friendship. I don’t want it to end; I enjoy being friends with her. I feel like she’s going to give her boyfriend so much attention the she may just…well…forget about me. I care for her a lot (not like a creep more like a best friend). I value our relationship as friends a lot, and she does too. I’ll end up staying away from her some days because sometimes I’m too bothered. I know that it is wrong because it’s the complete opposite of what I should be doing, it also would make her feel guilty. I don’t want her to feel guilty because she’s done nothing wrong. I don’t know what to do….someone help.

    (Edited)

    My Response:

    Dear Guy Friend;

    You like her unconditionally and conditionally? I am not sure exactly what you mean by this. It sounds like you truly want to be friends with her but there may be a part of you that may like her more than just a friend. If you truly like her as a friend only you shouldn’t feel jealous about her relationship with her current boyfriend. It sounds like you are a bit confused about your relationship and you need to sit back and evaluate your feelings for her. Be honest with yourself and be honest with her. You can’t have your cake and eat it too (I know that sounds cliche) but it’s the truth. You have to understand that both relationships are different. If she is truly your best friend she isn’t going to forget about you just because she is hanging out with her boyfriend. Does a friendship change when you are in a committed relationship? Yes. That’s life and it is something you have to understand. If you have done nothing wrong with her than there is nothing to feel guilty about, on either side. This sounds like a balancing act, you have to recognize you are only friends, and accept that you are okay with that. Be honest with your feelings about this friendship and then go from there.

    xo

    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Yahoo.com

  • Advice Column: He’s flirting with me and my friend

    Advice Column: Image found on flickr.com
    Advice Column: He’s flirting with me and my friend. Image found on flickr.com

    The Question:

    Is he basically lying to me? Does he even like me?

    This guy I like has been showing signs that he likes me and things were really going well. I went out for a walk the other day and we bumped into each other. I asked him if he wanted to come with me on this walk. Everything was really nice and we were really flirting. Next minute my friend rings saying she’s allowed to come over, so I tell her to meet me. 

    My friend turns up and this guy instantly starts looking her up and down but is still in deep conversation with me. He then starts making jokes about her having sex and that she’s always doing it. I then start talking about something serious and he interrupts by walking past me and picking my mate up on his shoulder. He keeps touching her arm and messing with her hood in front of me like I’m not there. He then start adding her on Facebook and flirting with her. We walk to his house and when we get in he tells me to sit on the other side while they sit together, but as soon as she goes home he’s asking me to message him. 

    He called me today and I said I’m not going out again and he was like ‘why not? I’ll have to drag you out!’  What is it with him and why is he leading me on and then clearly flirting with my friend? 

    Please help 

    My Response:

    Dear Confused;

    He is obviously trying to have his cake and it too (sorry for the metaphor) but it fits perfectly with your situation. It sounds like you need to talk to your friend first. Does she know you like this guy? If she does then it’s wrong that she would be flirting with him right in front of you instead of trying to help you out. If this guy really liked you then he wouldn’t be flirting with your friend right in front of you. I say move on and find a guy who is really into you and not trying to mess with your head. It sounds like he’s trying to hook up with your friend and then hook up with you while your friend is away. If he really liked you he would have already asked you out. This doesn’t seem to be the case, so move on and find a real man.

    xo,

    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Yahoo.com

  • You’re my kind of Perfect

    Hello – Anyone out there reading my posts? Sadly no one entered a poem to be featured in today’s post, so I guess I will have to put one of my OLDER Poems…… I wrote this and tweaked it a little to sound a little better. If you are reading… Let me know what you think.

    Random Thoughts…

    Have you ever just realized that the person you are with isn’t perfect, but with all the flaws and all the differences you have you know deep down that this person is for you, that He or She is your kind of Perfect? I grew up and realized that no one is perfect, but that is what makes us all unique, and in the end there is always that one person who fits perfectly together with you. This was dedicated to my boyfriend…

    You’re my kind of Perfect

    When I found you I didn’t know you would be the one
    When you found me we were just having fun
    Then out of nowhere we fell in love.

    I never thought you were perfect but to me you shine that light
    When I’m in the dark you make everything alright.
    When we kissed I felt the summer breeze.
    When our eyes met I knew deep down that now I can finally breathe.

    When I met you I was lost,
    I didn’t think love really existed,
    But I opened up my heart to you,
    I let you see the me no one sees,
    And when you looked at me I knew
    I had to let you in my world,
    Because without you, I just wouldn’t be me.

    Through the years you’ve been my strength
    My best friend through it all
    And even though we aren’t perfect
    You’re my kind of Perfect
    You’re my kind of Love…

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    © Written By: kristin nicole June 2, 2011 Edited: March 2,2012

  • Life doesn’t have a Guide Book…

    Random Thoughts:

    Pain is something we all feel at one point in our lives. When you hurt inside it’s a pain that is unexplainable, a pain that blinds us from what is really in front of us. Sometimes when we hurt we eventually move forward, we eventually see that the pain was for a reason, other times the pain turns into anger. Life is a journey that we are all on together, a journey we have to figure out on our own. We cross paths with people in our lives that change who we are, we either grow from them or we stay stuck in the paths we are crossing. I believe that we meet people in our lives for a reason, we might not see it in the moment, but they are there for one reason or another.

    Sometimes we feel lost, and confused and we aren’t quiet sure where to go from there. I knew someone who was lost, this person forgot who they were, they weren’t happy with themselves or their life and they pushed everyone they knew away. Closing one door leading them into a depression I couldn’t get them out of. When someone tells you that they don’t love you anymore, you try to come up with reasons why they loved you to begin with, when a person stops loving themselves the only thing you can do is let them find their own way back. How do you help someone who doesn’t want to be helped? There is no guide book in life to tell us how to act, what to do, where to go, there is no help guide to tell us how to love or what to do when we feel sad or upset. We live this life for a reason and we try to figure it out along the way.

    At times I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. I have a vision of what I want to do, but fear holds me back at times, wondering if what I really want will ever truly happen, if I’m good enough for what seems to be the impossible. I try to think positive and I love to feel like anything is possible, but there is always that little negative voice inside who stops us from making our dreams come true. Why do people always second guess themselves, why do we feel like there are some things in life that just can’t happen?

    My friend gave me this quote from Steve Jobs which I find to be refreshing, I have it up on my board at work so that I can see it and remind myself of the possibilities life has to bring.

    “You’ve got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of our life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle. ~Steve Jobs (2005 Stanford Commencement Speech).

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • My friend is always critical of me, should I stay friends with her?

    The Question:

    I have a friend who recently went through a divorce and is a single mom now. I met her while she was going through the divorce. I have noticed that she always makes mean comments towards me even though I am always nice to her. For instance, she was going through my closet and says you are a lawyer why do you buy cheap clothes or you aren’t detail oriented at all..are you sure you are a lawyer? The list goes on…she makes these snide comments when I least expect it and it really irritates the hell out of me. I am just friends with her out of pity. I don’t initiate contact with her and I don’t try to be friends with her..she always tries to run after me. She can be a good person but her critical remarks shows that something is mentally wrong with her. What should I do? Should I cut the crazy off?

    My response:

    Dear taking criticism;

    It seems to me that although you say you are friends with her out of pity only, you are the one that initiated the friendship and therefor it also seems she isn’t the one who’s going to end it. Just because she was going through a rough divorce gives her no right to criticize but people who are going through tough times and aren’t happy with their own lives tend to criticize the ones they envy. Unfortunately you didn’t stand up to her the first time she started criticizing you and that was your first mistake. You can do two things, you can either step up to her the next time she tries putting you down, just tell her that you don’t appreciate her criticizing the way you live your life or the way you do things and that you are happy with the way your life is; or you can drop her as a friend. Seems to me that she isn’t such a good friend to begin with and you should never be-friend someone just because you feel sorry for them, you should be friends with someone because that person is a friend back to you. My opinion, drop her, she doesn’t seem like a good friend and she needs a lot of growing up to do. There was probably a reason she got divorced to begin with. Move on and find some real friends to hang out with.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

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