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Tag: girlfriend

  • Advice Column: Bad kisser but good in bed

    Advice Column: Bad kisser but good in bedDear Kristin Nicole;

    My boyfriend “Jason” and I, have been together for over a year and most of that we were long distance. As in every relationship, he was amazing at the beginning, and he still is as a boyfriend – he treats me well, he never lets me pay, he gives me compliments every single day and doesn’t complain about me at all, but there are certain things that make me wonder whether I want to be with him long-term. He doesn’t have a higher education which is fine with me, but he still doesn’t have a clue what he wants to do in the future. He has a part-time job and lives with his parents (he will be 24 soon). I gave him a few ideas what he could do and he liked those jobs, but he would have to undertake some training which he isn’t very keen on doing. I feel like he thinks he is still a teenager and has his money just for fun (yes, after 7 years out of high-school he hasn’t saved much). Also, although he treats me well, he isn’t the nicest person, he shouts at his parents, calls him mum ‘bitch’, tweets random people to ‘fuck off’, simply he is a bit aggressive. Lastly, we doesn’t share the same sense of humor and he is a bad kisser. Good in bed, but a bad kisser.

    I don’t want to leave him because I don’t want to hurt him and he gives me security, but I am young, I shouldn’t worry about finding another boyfriend.

    Thanks for your time and help 🙂
    ~”Katie”

    Names have been changed for privacy purposes. 

    My Response:

    Dear Katie;

    It sounds to me like you are just settling to be with this guy. He’s turning 24 soon and it sounds like he has a lot of growing up to do. You pretty much summed up reasons why not to be with him, can you think of any reasons why you should be with him? You have to think about your future, do you see yourself with a man like this? Not having an education isn’t the worst thing, and like you said it isn’t a big deal, but the fact that he doesn’t want to try and work is a totally different situation. He needs to figure out what he wants to do in life, what career, and what path he plans on taking, because if everything in life is a negative now, imagine how it will be later down the road.

    You stated; “lastly we don’t share the same sense of humor and he is a bad kisser. Good in bed, but a bad kisser.” There are so many other people out there who you will have things in common with. Being with someone and sharing things you both like is a big thing to have in a relationship. If you feel that you don’t share the same humor or personality, that can be a problem. As for being a bad kisser, you can always try to train him and tell him how you like it. You are young and you have so much time to find someone that you are more compatible with. Don’t waste time on a boy (and I say boy because he hasn’t grown up yet); when there is probably something better waiting for you out there. If you truly love him, truly madly, deeply can see yourself spending the rest of your life with him, then sit with him and tell him how you feel, try to get him motivated into changing his life around. Good luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

     

  • Advice Column: New Chick or Old Chick?

    Advice Column: New Chick or Old Chick?

    Dear kristin nicole;

    Ok I need some help. I just started dating this new chick a month ago, we were acquaintances before we started dating. I liked her so much (mostly because she is hot) that I cut it off the previous girl I was dating (equally hot) because that one was going downhill fast. And I wanted to start new and fresh without anyone in the way. This new chick was in the same situation as me as she stopped talking to the one person she was dating as they were going downhill as well. So we were basically in the same situation when we started seeing each other. Everything was great for this whole month until I found out yesterday that she is still hanging out with her ex. When I confronted her she admitted it but stated they are just friends. To top it off they are neighbors so it’s not like they can’t see each other. I’m very upset at this situation because I stopped talking to the one I was dating previous to this new chick and then she does this to me. Also the previous chick is begging me back and pleading to see me. I decline her advances to me but I still talk to her here and there. What should I do? Should I go back to the previous chick (which has its own set of problems) or should I just stay with the new chick knowing that she still sees her ex?

    Thanks,
    Confused dude

    Dear Confused dude;

    I think that if she is still talking to her ex and didn’t tell you can mean two things, one that she still has feelings for him so she hid the the fact that he lives next door and that she still talks to him or two she figured you might get a little jealous and since there is nothing going on figured telling you would only make things questionable, which in fact it has. I think she should have been honest with you and if there is nothing going on with the ex then there is no reason for her to hide anything from you. If you really like this new girl then you need to talk to her, ask her what is up? Ask her straight out about her ex, if she still has feelings for him then you don’t want to be involved with a girl who can’t make up her mind, if she says nothing is going on with her ex and she really likes you, then you have one of two choices, believe her (because she has never shown you otherwise that she may be lying) or decide that you can’t deal with it and move on. As for the first girl – Stop keeping her around, tell her you are just not interested in her like that (of course say this in a nice way), but don’t even bother with someone that you already know is complicated. Why would you want that in your life? Don’t ever settle just because it is easy, if you really like someone and they like you it should happen easily.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • He is a virgin but I’m not…

    The Question:

    Dear Kristin Nicole;

    My boyfriend that I am with now is a virgin, I didn’t know this when we first started dating, because he seems so confident, I had assumed he wasn’t a virgin. He is 23 years old and I am 21, I have had more than one partner in my life and I am wondering if I am going to enjoy having sex with my boyfriend. I want someone who is going to know what to do, not someone I have to tell what to do. Is it wrong of me to think this way? Should I break up with him, or should I take his virginity?

    ~ Boyfriends a Virgin

    My Response:

    Dear Boyfriends a Virgin;

    You shouldn’t break up with your boyfriend just because he is a virgin, you obviously liked him enough to become his girlfriend. It may not be the same as the other men you have been with, but he might just surprise you. Try taking the dominant role and perhaps showing him exactly what you like will win over the rest in the end. Sometimes you can’t teach an old dog new tricks, but one that doesn’t know any better might be worth a little work. Have you tried doing other stuff with him? Perhaps having a little fun beforehand can loosen up the mood. If you really feel like you do not want to be with him, make sure before taking his virginity, although I’m sure he wouldn’t mind. Good luck

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • I don’t like it when my GF sleeps with her husband…

    The Question:

    How can I gently tell my Girlfriend that I don’t like it when she sleeps with her husband? She did it twice last week and I’m beginning to feel like she’s just using me. HELP
    ~Feeling Used

    My Response:

    Dear Feeling Used;

    Let’s start off with what is wrong with this question….. “I don’t like it when she sleeps with her HUSBAND”….. HUSBAND….. Husband and did I mention HUSBAND? She is married, of course she is going to sleep with her husband, she is having an affair with you and she hasn’t left her husband yet, that should be a clear sign to get out. Well the first sign was the fact that she was MARRIED. The second sign is that she hasn’t left him for you and she is still sleeping with him. Find a woman that isn’t married, a woman that you can be with without hiding it from people, and a woman that will want to be with you and only you. Good luck

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • My girlfriend is texting with another guy

    I don’t know if you are familiar with Yelp.com, but I was going through the threads when this question popped up:

    The Question:

    Its been almost a year and my girlfriend keeps texting back and forward with a coworker I was competing with when we were dating. This guy keeps telling her how beautiful she is and texting her when she is not at work. Initially I didn’t mind the competition but when she became mine, I let it go but this guy keeps coming back. Should I have a talk with her? I am not a jealous guy but I don’t want to be play a fool. Help!
    Thanks.

    My Thoughts:

    Dear Mr. Not Jealous

    Lets start off with my first question. Is your girlfriend texting this guy back?!?

    You don’t want to cause conflicts at work if you work with this guy, so I would advise you talk to your girlfriend. You say you guys have been together for a year now, and that should mean open and honest communication with each other. Tell her how you feel, and have her text him back asking him to please not text her anymore. If she loves you and she wants your relationship to work, I see no problem in her doing this.

    If she has a problem texting and telling this guy to stop texting her, then maybe there is something else behind these texts. If she’s texting him back, maybe he thinks it’s okay to tell your girlfriend she is beautiful. This is a disrespect to you and your relationship and he also needs to know that he’s stepping over his boundaries. Maybe go up to him nicely and ask him to please stop texting your girlfriend, that you don’t appreciate it. If this is too straight forward for you and you feel this may cause conflict (as I stated above) in the work place then speak to your girlfriend and have her tell him to stop.

    If she refuses then maybe you need to sit down and see what she wants out of your relationship, because if she’s going to continue flirting and texting with this guy then maybe you need to re-evaluate your relationship.

    XO,
    Kristin Nicole

  • My girlfriend left me after 5 years…

    The Question:

    Dear Kristin Nicole;

    My girlfriend of 5 years just picked up and left. I love her but I don’t understand her. She wants to get married and I am not ready for such a commitment. I do want to spend the rest of my life with her, but I don’t know that I want to marry her. My parents were divorced, there parents were divorced and I don’t see why you need to get married in order to start your life together. How do I get her back, how do I convince her that I love her but I don’t know if I’ll ever want to get married? Please Help…

    ~Don’t Want to Get Married

    My Response:

    Dear Don’t Want to Get Married;

    I think your girlfriend has every right to leave you. You have been together for 5 years and you are telling her that you aren’t sure when you want to get married. Women want to grow and have a marriage and family and if you aren’t that guy then just let her go. Knowing that she wants to get married, you have a choice to make, either overcome your fear of marriage and get the girl you love and want to spend your life with back, or let her go and find someone who doesn’t want to get married. There are still women out there who don’t want to get married and living in a girlfriend/boyfriend status is fine with them, maybe this is the type of woman you need to look for. If you really love your girlfriend and you want to spend the rest of your life with her, then what is the big deal of not wanting to get married? Sure some marriages fail, but you won’t know until you try, besides just because your parents didn’t last doesn’t mean you won’t last with your girlfriend. Do what you feel in your heart, but don’t hold on to her if you know what she wants is marriage and a family and it isn’t something you want. If you can’t picture your life without her, then perhaps marriage isn’t as bad as you think it is….

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • My boyfriend has started beating me?

    The Question:
    I have been staying with my boyfriend for a year, but recently he has started to lose his temper and beat me. He is kind and loving 90 percent of the time, should I leave him because you know the beating will never stop?

    My Response:

    Dear Abused;

    I think you already know the answer here. If you even have to ask then the answer should be obvious, but just in case…. My answer would be YES Leave him, and not just because he probably won’t stop, but because this is not love! Someone who loves you won’t dare put a hand on you, no only is it disrespectful but it’s physical abuse and no person should ever have to go through this. If he has a bad temper it could only get worse, he needs help and he is the only one that is going to have to want to get the kind of help he needs, but if you stick around it can only get worse from here. Respect yourself and Love yourself enough to get out of a relationship you already know is no good for you. Find someone that will respect you and love you and won’t lead to violence just because he gets upset about something.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • My boyfriend isn’t ‘the one’, should I leave him?

    The Question:

    I’m a 32 year old woman and I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years and we were friends for years before that. He is a great guy, we get on well and we are really well matched in many ways. My concern is that I don’t think I love him and I feel in my gut that we are not meant to be together in the long-term. I feel strongly that I don’t want to commit to him. However, I’m also scared to leave him because I know he’d make a great father and partner/husband (although I don’t see myself marrying him). I guess I feel he may be my only chance (at my age?). Question is: am I just afraid to grow up and settle down or would I just be settling for the wrong guy if I stayed? I’m scared of making a massive mistake either way.

    My Response:

    Dear Not In Love;

    I think you already know the answer “He is a great guy, we get on well and we are really well matched in many ways. My concern is that I don’t think I love him…” You have already spent the last 5 years with someone you already know you don’t want a future with and it isn’t fair to lead him on into thinking that his future might be with you. Be honest with yourself and with your boyfriend, it might hurt and it’s hard to move on and find someone else but at the end of the day you both will be happy that what you did was the right move to make. Marriage is a very big commitment and it isn’t something you should ever get into just because “he or she might be a great parent”. You are still young and there are plenty of other men out there, don’t keep putting it off and spending more time on a relationship that you aren’t truly happy in. Don’t ever settle to just settle, settle down because that’s the person you truly know you want to spend the rest of your life with. Sit down with your boyfriend and tell him how you feel, move on and find someone you are truly in love with and can have a future with.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • I’m 21 but my GF is only 17…

    The Question:

    Dear Kristin Nicole;

    I am 21 years old but I am dating a 17 year old girl who is still in High School, is this wrong of me? Can anything happen if we decide to have sex? Advice please….

    ~Too Old

    My Response:

    Dear Too Old;

    First I have to ask why you would want to be with a 17 year old in the first place? You are young, you can drink now and go out clubbing and your girlfriend won’t be able to do any of these things with you, is this a relationship you really want to try out? Second, it’s not wrong if you truly like her and think that this relationship can go somewhere, but if you are looking just to sleep with her then I would be careful, you can be charged for Statutory Rape because she is under age. If you are questioning whether it is okay to be in a relationship with her or not then be honest with your girlfriend, don’t hide your relationship from friends or family and make sure they get to know you. If this is just a fling thing, then I would say move on and find someone your own age.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • What to do to fix my relationship?

    The Question:

    What to do to fix my relationship?
    About 4 days ago I said somethings I didn’t mean to say to the girl I love and I really hurt her and now she is saying she needs time to figure things out. I feel horrible about what Ive done and Ive done all I can to try and show her I care, before all this happen we were trying to have a child and making plans on moving in and marriage one day; now she acts like I never mattered and it kills me. Anyone have any ideas on what I should do or say to try to make things better?? I just don’t get how it went from so good to so bad with us…

    My Response:

    Dear boyfriend;

    It can be many things, I only know this one piece of the story, but look back into your relationship (as the whole) and was it really good (not perfect, because no relationship is perfect) but was it good? If it was and you really didn’t have any problems before this then maybe she’s just being a little over emotional, give her time, keep showing her how sorry you are and tell her you love her. If you guys have had a few problems (big) in the past perhaps this was the last straw and she’s using it as a way to get out. Sometimes we try to pick fights or we get mad over small things because we really aren’t happy in our relationships. I say sit down and talk to her, find out what is really going on and apologize for what you said. If she still is blocking you out, give her time and then try talking to her again.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com