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Tag: insecure

  • Marriage on the Rocks Insecure and Possessive?

    The Question:

    I am 24 married with 3 kids. We have been married 6 years and she is 26. I want to know if I am wrong. I have been laid off of work (construction field) and my wife works. She works m-f from 6am-6pm. I watch the 3 kids all day all under the age of 6. When she comes home I would like to leave because they drive me crazy. I go to my homies house and chill there until about 12 in the morning. She always gets mad when I leave like I cant get out once in a blue moon she doesn’t but she always gets mad. She doesn’t let me use the car because it’s a stick and she doesn’t trust me with it and wont give me any money because she thinks I’m going to buy weed with it. I smoke at my friend’s house. She never believes me when I say imp going somewhere she checks my calls and gets mad if I dress real nice when I leave. She is controlling and possessive. I have not lied to her for almost 2 months so why is she still upset. Is she overreacting or am I? She is entirely too insecure…. Help

    My Response:

    Dear Home Dad;

    I’m going to be blunt, so don’t take offense. You need to grow up! You married young and have three children, but this is something you should have thought about before all of it happened, it’s too late now and you need to take responsibility. It’s okay to want a break and get some fresh air after being with the children all day, but at the same time you wife is working all day and bringing home the money, you need to do your part around the house if you aren’t working, and it seems that you are doing just that. However, I can understand her not wanting to give you money so that you can spend it on weed, if you are tight on money and she’s the only one working you shouldn’t be spending on something that you shouldn’t be doing in the first place. Going to your friends house almost every night until midnight is unacceptable,e you are married and although you are tired you need to spend time with your wife as well. I am sure that when she gets home from work she would like to spend time with you. If you don’t like staying home with the kids all day, then find another job. I know it’s hard out there right now but keep looking and I’m sure something will come up. You are still young and you have a lot to learn, but you are married and have three children, so it’s time to grow up and work on your family.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • My hubby has self-esteem issues…

    The Question:

    My hubby has self-esteem issues………what can I do!??!?
    Me & my hubby have been married since 07/2005……he has gained some weight recently & I have noticed that he wears his shirt 2 bed…….wont go shirtless & won’t take the shirt off during sex. He is constantly telling me he is “fat” & if he grosses me out!! Uuhh of course not!! In the contrary I still get turned on!! I’m constantly telling him how hot he is & hot much he turns me on but it doesn’t seem 2 work……..(sigh) what else can I do?? Eeeekkk I don’t want him 2 B feeling this way…

    My Response:

    Dear Wifey;

    I tell couples all the time, communicate, communicate and Communicate. Sit down with your husband and tell him that you have noticed that he has been feeling a bit cautious about the way he looks. Tell him again how much you still find him attractive and if he’s feeling insecure with his weight then try working out with him and try cooking healthier, try making him feel better about himself and just support him. Tell him what you said in your post…. Tell him how attractive he is to you and how you do not want him feeling this way, tell him how much you love him. A little encouragement goes a long way.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Need help with being insecure?

    The Question:

    I was with my ex for 4 years and he finished it with me for no reason and he moved on very quickly which made me move on quickly too. I am now with a bloke which I have been with for about a year and a half. Lately I feel so insecure around him. He lives with a house mate and he has a girlfriend. I keep thinking my boyfriend likes her. My boyfriend is 27 she is 18, but he always seems to be interested in her. He never used to be like that with her, and he always seems to be looking at her. I don’t know if there’s anything in it but its making me moody with him. He doesn’t know I’m insecure and I don’t really want to say anything to him. HELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP now every little thing he says to her I seem to be analyzing! He did say the other day she has an attitude, and he would never speak to her if she wasn’t with his mate, but the other night she went to bed and he said “ah your going bed are you” she was like yeah I’m tired and I got college tomorrow. He was like “oh ok” & I was thinking SO WHAT IF SHE GOES TO BED grrrrrrrrrrr …. Do u think I’m looking into it too much??

    My Response:

    Dear Too Much;

    Let me get this straight, the 18 year old girl is your boyfriends roommate? Yes you are definitely looking too much into it. First it’s your boyfriends, friends girlfriend, it is not like they are alone most of the time together and second asking her if she is going to bed, is just plain old conversation. I know it’s hard sometimes to not feel insecure after a breakup, especially since you were with your ex for such a long time, but remember this boyfriend is not your ex so try to remember that whenever you feel a little jealous. You have to trust your boyfriend, without trust the relationship won’t grow. If you start seeing something you really don’t like, (like them flirting or playing around) then confront your boyfriend and tell him you feel uncomfortable when he does that with her, but if they just have regular conversations together, yo have to remember this is your boyfriends roommates girl and they are going to have to talk to each other since I am sure he see’s her often there. Try to relax and know that he’s with your because he loves you. I am sure you are a beautiful girl and your ex doesn’t know what he lost, you have moved on so don’t bring that baggage with you into this relationship, remember this is a different relationship and if you do feel a little insecure talk to your boyfriend, but don’t over analyze everything he does, he’s probably just being friendly to her because it’s his friends girlfriend.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Is he going to end our relationship?

    The Question:

    I am going through an awful time. I am going through a divorce and so is my boyfriend. We are in our 40’s.

    I feel so insecure at times. My boyfriend and I have been together 8 months and at the weekend I asked him if he loved me more than he did his wife. He said ‘no, but in time hopes to’. This wasn’t the answer I was hoping for as he always tells me he loves me so much and I do him.

    I thought we had got over it, but he rang me today and said he’s not sure if he can stay with me now I asked that question as I had no right and it has left him feeling very low.

    Is this because he misses his wife? I really love him and don’t want to lose him just because I asked one question. Surely if we love one another, we should be able to talk and ask anything which might be bothering us.

    Please help. I am so down today.

    My Response:

    Dear Insecure;

    Every love is different, that isn’t a question that you ask someone, and if he was married to her for many years I am sure he loved her a lot. This does not mean that he doesn’t love you any less or any more than he did her. It is a totally different relationship and you are both coming out of marriages that you were in for a long time. He may feel uncomfortable that you asked him that, and that he was honest with the way he felt. Perhaps you are asking too much from him right now? Although this is a question I would never ask because you are only looking to get hurt with that type of question. Have you asked yourself why can’t you be happy with the way things are? If what you are looking for is a deeper relationship and wanting to know where your relationship is going, well that is a totally different question that you need ask him. Talk to your boyfriend and tell him that you don’t want things to be awkward because of your question and try to fix things with him if you really want things to work out. Stop being insecure, if he didn’t want to be with you, he wouldn’t be. Know that you are sexy, beautiful and worth every minute spent with you. Love yourself and stop worrying about the rest.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com