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Tag: kristinnicole

  • I’m too involved in my daughters life and it’s taking me away from my son and husband

    Over Involved Mother – image by: google.com/images

    The Question:

     Dear Kristin Nicole;

    I am way too involved in my nearly 15 year old daughter’s life. It consumes me and my happiness seems to be dependent on how happy she is. I find myself getting too involved in social issues and give advice often before she asks for it. We have a great relationship and she tells me so much but I sometimes wish she didn’t. Lately I have lost sleep worrying about girl issues and boyfriend issues. She is extremely attractive and athletic and often suffers from jealous girls trying to knock her down. Lately these girls have been trying to turn boys against her and have succeeded to a point. She says it doesn’t worry her but I struggle to believe that. She says she is fine but I just can’t stop worrying and giving advice. I need to stop before I ruin the wonderful relationship we have had and she stops telling me things. It’s just that I know what can potentially happen and I am trying to protect her from it. Help me to stop as i am neglecting my 11 year old son and husband that is all that is consuming my thoughts. I am an educated person with a degree so I should know better! (Edited by: KN)

    My Response:

    Dear Over involved mom;

    I know it’s hard to not worry about your daughter, but you have already passed the first step of realizing you are too involved. You have to accept that your daughter needs to make her own mistakes and you need to try to let what she tells you not bother you. If your daughter is open with you and she is telling you that she is okay, you need to believe her and let her come to you if things aren’t okay. Start making time for mother and son day. I can only imagine that things in common with an 11 year old son may be difficult but try to see what he wants to do and start giving him attention as well. Also try to make time for a date night with your husband and talk to him about how you are feeling. If you don’t explain to him how you feel then he won’t understand what it is you are going through. If you talk to him then at least he will have a better understanding on what is going on with you. Remember communication is key, let him help you and get your mind off things. Remember teenagers will have ups and downs, that’s why it’s called teenage years, so try not to worry so much about your daughter. It sounds to me like she’s a smart girl, and she already knows she can come to you if she needs you. Start focusing on the good and don’t over analyze everything she tells you.
    Good Luck
    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • I had a dream with you the other day

    Dreams – Photo Found on google.com/images

    I had a dream with you the other day

    You wrapped me in your arms and said everything would be okay

    I looked into your eyes and you changed into someone new

    Now I’m feeling lost and so confused.

    You left me without a word, you didn’t say goodbye

    You left me in tears and I didn’t know why

    I loved you for reasons unsaid

    And from one moment to the next you left me for her bed.

    Another person in my life, you come and go as you please

    You don’t say a single word; you just look at me and tease

    But a part of me is happy and a part of me is sad because when,

    I looked into your eyes you changed into someone new

    Now I’m feeling lost and so confused.

    You were someone when I met you

    Then you changed into someone else

    This new you isn’t the person I fell for

    You changed for the worse, you’re lost and incomplete

    The heartache would have been faster if you would have let me be

    But you dragged my heart out; you held it in your hands

    You played with it and let it go, leaving me bewildered and alone

    I looked into your eyes as you changed into someone new

    Now I’m feeling lost and so confused.

    I hide from my shadow trying to cover the pain

    Trying to imagine a world where everything is sane.

    Then one day I found you

    I turned to you and everything felt right

    I see what I was missing

    Someone to make me feel alright

    Someone to make all the worries go away

    Someone to love me in all the right ways.

    When I look into your eyes it’s just you and me

    The person I want to be with

    The person who holds my heart

    The person who makes everything feel better when I’m falling apart

    © Written by: kristin nicole – April 2012

  • We bought a house but I’m not In Love Anymore…

    I'm not in Love Anymore…

    The Question:

    Dear Kristin Nicole;

    I’m 27. I’ve been with my girlfriend for a little over 3 years and we recently bought a house together, last year in fact. I feel like I don’t really love her anymore. not in that way at least. she’s a great person but she’s more like a best friend then my girlfriend. we don’t really have an intimate relationship. when I met her she was a virgin so nothing really happened for a while which is fine with me. but I think because we waited so long it killed those types of feelings for me. I tried to fight through it but it didn’t work and now I’m stuck in this position. I know life is short and I shouldn’t waste my time or hers if I’m not happy, I just don’t know how to go about it. thank you so much for listening I really do appreciate it.

    ~ Confused

    My Response:

    Dear Confused;

    I don’t have to tell you that it would have been wise to really think about buying a home with someone if you were already feeling that you didn’t love her anymore. What’s done is done, now you have to think about the options you have to take. You are still young, don’t settle just because you just bought a house with your girlfriend, if you aren’t in love, you aren’t in love, and it isn’t fair to yourself or her you keep living a lie. The worst thing that can happen is that you lose your home and go into foreclosure, your credit gets messed up for a few years and you rebuild it. But let’s try to avoid that…. First you need to sit down with your girlfriend and really try to explain to her that you don’t want to hurt her but you are just not in love with her anymore. At the end of the day, those words are going to sting right through her. I’m not going to lie, it’s going to hurt her but at the end of the day it’s for the best. After talking to her you need to figure out what you want to do with the house. Did you go into the house 50/50 or did you buy the house alone? If you bought the house alone, then you have the rights to the house and you need to let her know that she needs to move out. Give her a deadline because if you don’t, sometimes the person will try to linger in order to rekindle the relationship. If you went into the house 50/50 you have two choices, either you buy her out or she buys you out in order to keep the house, or you try to sell it. Since the economy still isn’t doing too good and you just bought the house you might not be able to sell it, or if you do you might have to take the lose and move on. If you don’t want to sell, which I recommend you don’t, and hold on to the house until you can make some money off of it, then you can rent it out where the rent can cover the mortgage and taxes etc, so that neither of you really have to worry about paying for the house. I would definitely put away at least two to three months just in case you can’t rent it out. I know this is a lot to handle on top of breaking up but it’s something you need to think about. Be honest with yourself and your girlfriend and tell her how you feel. It is better to do things now then later down the road…..
    Good luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole