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Tag: long distance

  • Advice Column: Affair with a married man

    Advice Column: Affair with a married man – Image found on google.com/images

    Advice Column: Affair with a married man

    I’m a 17 year old girl, who recently started talking to a 23 year old guy from across the country. He told me straight up that he has two baby boys, which didn’t bother me because we weren’t anything serious. Well we texted all the time and talked on the phone, but when he oddly kept refusing to add me on Facebook I demanded to know why. He admitted to being in a loveless, miserable marriage. They’ve been married for four years and he’s slept with a few other women. He suspects her of cheating on him while he was stationed in Korea and doesn’t think that his oldest son is really his. I’m a very understanding person and continued talking to him despite his personal life. But now it’s at the point where he says he has too big of a heart to leave his wife and kids, and I don’t know what to do. I like him but knowing he sits out in his car every night after work to call me while his wife is inside sleeping just doesn’t feel right. It’s too much! He’s an amazing guy and although I don’t think what he’s doing is right, I also feel like I shouldn’t play along. It just kills me because I know how unhappy and utterly miserable he is with her. What should I do?
    ~17

    My Response:

    Dear 17;

    I think you already know the answer to your question and you just need for someone else to confirm what you have already been thinking and feeling. You stated; “and though I don’t think what he’s doing is right, I also feel like I shouldn’t play along.” Do you need any other answer besides that one? The guy can’t be too good of a guy if he’s cheating on his wife constantly and lying to her. He doesn’t live close to you and all you have is a phone relationship. You are much too young to be worrying about a guy with so many problems. You need to be having fun and start dating guys more your age. Enjoy your life and stop worrying about a guy who is cheating on his wife and his family with other women and sneaking off at night to talk to you. Close the door to this relationship and move on.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com (2011)

  • Advice Column: Cheated on several times

    Advice Column: Cheated on several times. Image found on google.com/images

    Advice Column: Cheated on several times

    Dear Kristin Nicole;

    I found out my boyfriend cheated on me while we were in a long distance relationship. He finally moved to my home town but I found out that while he was gone he slept with other women. He recently had to go back home to take care of some family business and while he was gone I hooked up with a friend of mine. I love my boyfriend but a part of me can’t get over the fact that he cheated on me. I know two wrongs don’t make a right but I felt hurt and betrayed and sleeping with my friend almost made me feel better. I don’t know if I should come clean or tell my boyfriend. I don’t know if I can ever trust my boyfriend again and I am still so angry with him. The friend I slept with has been trying to get with me and he tells me all the time how my boyfriend is a loser and how I deserve better. I am a little confused now. Should I stay with my boyfriend or leave him and try to see if my friendship with this guy can be more than just friends?

    Sincerely,
    Confused~

    My Response:

    Dear Confused;

    Let’s start off with the fact that your boyfriend cheated on you while you were in a long distance relationship. As soon as you found this out, you should have hit the highway. Do you want to be with a man who has cheated on you with not one but several other women? Second, you are right, two wrongs don’t make a right, and although I can see why you sought comfort in someone who is always telling you that you deserve better, you don’t want your friend to be a rebound guy. If you feel you can’t trust your boyfriend then end things. Send him packing back to where he came from. Take time for you and try to stay friends with your guy friend and go from there. If it’s meant to be, things will work out, if not you will hopefully still have a friend after all this. Don’t ever think you need to stay with someone who has cheated on you. You deserve better. Go find yourself a real man!

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    (2011)

  • My husband is away & over protective…

    The Question:

    Dear Kristin Nicole;

    I have been married for 2 months and my husband and I have known each
    other for 6 years now. We have a great marriage, we love each other,
    we are supportive of each other and I am happy with my man. However,
    recently (one month ago) he left to Europe in order to pursue higher
    studies for 6 months.

    Ever since my husband moved to Europe he is being insanely over
    protective about me. He keeps telling me not to go out by myself and
    to take my father/ brother along with me if I have to go out any
    where. He keeps calling me very often in the day- I don’t know if he
    is checking on me or he is actually concerned. If he ever calls me and
    phone is engaged, he keeps asking me who was I talking to on the
    phone. I love my husband and I have never thought about anything but
    loving him and staying committed to this relationship.

    I love my husband and I want to be with him. However, his over
    protectiveness is getting to me, I don’t know if I am over reacting or
    if my husband is being over protective. I tried to talk to him about
    this but all he told me was that, he is concerned about me and I need
    to understand that he is protective about me because he loves me.

    I just want to know if this behavior from my husband is normal. If he
    is being reasonable, how do I train myself to adapt to this behavior
    from him..

    My Response:

    Dear Protected;

    Your husband is away in another country, it just isn’t around the corner, and don’t worry it is normal for him to be a little worried about you and protective, you have only been married for 2 months and then he had to go away for school. Remember he can’t be with you so he may be feeling a little insecure and feel that if you go out alone you may find someone. You and I both know this is not the case because you love him, and he is not going to be gone forever. Six months is a long time but it is doable. Try talking to your husband again and explain to him that you feel a little overwhelmed by his over protection. Explain to him that you love him and nothing is going to happen, that you understand he only cares and loves you but you are also a grown women and you will be fine. Explain to him how you feel and communicate to him how it bothers you that he is constantly telling you what to do and how he questions you about who you may have been talking to prior to his phone call. Just remind him how much you love him and that you will soon be together.

    Have you guys tried video chatting? Maybe this will help a little, at least he can see you and feel a little a closer to you. Again six months is a long time but it is not that long, soon enough he will be back home and you can get back to your normal routine.

    xo,
    kristin nicole