Self-Esteem
Self-Esteem has been an issue for many people through out the years. As individuals there are flaws we seek out from our selves that make us feel insecure and unhappy. Some self-esteem issues can cause psychological disorders, from a young age a child who does not experience the opportunity to differentiate themselves, and lack the opportunity to idealize others while taking pride in themselves, may later suffer from a disorder called narcissistic personality, this is a result from self-esteem issues. “The narcissistic personality is characterized by a grandiose and exaggerated sense of self-importance and an exploitive attitude towards others, which serve the function of masking a frail self-concept.” (Corey, 2009). Self-esteem issues can result in problems later on in your personal relationships. The National Association for Self-Esteem web site is very interesting. It gives different concepts and explanations on helping a person to improve their self-esteem.
What is self-esteem? According to the National Association for Self-Esteem, self-esteem is thought of as a person whom trusts in his or her own being to life affirming, constructive, responsible and trustworthy views. A word many people use trying to describe self-esteem is a feeling of feeling good about yourself, or having positive feelings about oneself. Unfortunately many people suffer from having low self-esteem. Some people have even gone to state that self-esteem is equivalent with egotism, arrogance, conceit, narcissism, a sense of superiority and, a trait leading to violence. People with low self-esteem tend to try to prove themselves to others. They use others for their own gain, to make themselves feel better about their lives. Many people who suffer from the lack of self-esteem lack self confidence in themselves, they have doubts about their worth and acceptability, and usually are reluctant to take risks or expose themselves to failure. Those who suffer from low self-esteem tend to blame others for the lack of shortcomings rather than take responsibility for their own actions.
Feelings of insecurity can lead to psychological issues, such as discussed earlier like narcissism and other types of disorders like depression. There are ways to try and build your self-esteem, to try and make your life positive and grow from the feelings of insecurities to feelings of self worth and positive attributes. On the website they have a Building Positive Self Esteem section where it has a Self Esteem Lesson Plan Improving Self Esteem in Adults. This plan has a step-by-step plan to help those with low self-esteem. Building self-esteem is building a positive attribute that the person needs to learn how to build inside him or herself. Self-Esteem is not based on the things you have in life, like your house, car, school, relationships, money etc, it is based on how a person feels about themselves. According to the website positive self esteem is meeting life’s challenges and not feeling victimized, taking responsibility for your thoughts, words and actions, and making conscious choices to support and care for yourself.
Each lesson plan takes you through a journey into learning yourself and accepting yourself. Lesson one is to read about how the brain works, this helps a person learn and recognize behavioral thoughts and patterns; you can change these patterns and habits if you can recognize them. Lesson two, you discover what you believe about yourself and you make the decision on your own to change to a healthy self-esteem. Lesson three is to learn how to meditate and use relaxation techniques to allow your self to experience feeling calm, peaceful, confident, and loving self. Developing meditation practices is one of the most powerful ways a person can find inner peace within themselves, this is important to feel positive about yourself and your life. Lesson four is to learn how to respect, care for and love yourself. You cannot have a healthy self-esteem if you do not have respect for the one person who will take care of you, this person is you. Lesson five is to focus on your choices in life. When a person has low self-esteem you sometimes feel like you have no choice but to do certain things, when you have a healthy self-esteem you learn that you can make whatever choices you have to overcome in life. Lesson six teaches you how to have direction in your life. What you decide in life is up to you. Lesson seven is about visualization. Tapping into your imagination is an important tool into reaching and changing your behavior. Lesson eight teaches you to tap into an invisible energy force, this force includes higher power, spirit, God, universal love, super conscious and intuitive or higher self. Lesson nine summarizes the important components into taking responsibility and overcoming low self-esteem. The last lesson, lesson ten offers an additional lesson plan that some can learn to use in ever day life.
In life we all have insecurities, we have to learn to not allow them to take over, you cannot allow them to make you feel bad about yourself and have low self-esteem. These techniques can help any type of psychological disorder improve. If person feels depressed due to low self-esteem you need to learn to feel good about yourself, once a person feels better about himself or herself they no longer feel the feelings of depression or narcissism. Boosting your self-esteem is also part of one of the programs they have on the website. Use affirmations to boost your-esteem, they say to carry a saying around with a positive thought about yourself, for example; ‘I am somebody, I love myself, I believe in myself.’ Associate with positive, supportive people. When we surround ourselves with positive people it encourages us to be positive and think good about our selves, if we surround ourselves with negative people it tends to bring you down and only bring negative vibes into your life. Make a list of your past successes, this doesn’t have to only have monumental accomplishments; it can include small victories that you have accomplished throughout your life. The list goes on, stop comparing yourself to others, stop putting yourself down, take advantage of self esteem programs and make a list of your positive qualities. Every morning you should meditate and visualize your day, read inspirational texts and start your day off on a powerful positive start. Communication is key and in like any friendship, relationship or work related aspect it’s important to communicate positively and hang around positive people.
The National Association for Self Esteem website is a great website to go to if you are feeling insecure about yourself and your life. Self Esteem is important, it determines certain psychological disorders and it can determine how you live your life. Take time to take care of yourself and feel good about yourself. If you do not respect and love yourself it will be very difficult to carry on any type of relationship in your future. Life is never easy, and we are all dealt with negativity in our lives, it is how we believe in ourselves and how we choose the outcomes in our lives that determine our future.
References
Corey, G. (2009). Theory and practice of counseling and psychotherapy (8th ed.) Belmont, CA: Thomas Brooks/Cole.
National Association for Self Esteem (2010). Self-Esteem Booster. Retrieved January 14, 2012 from: http://www.self-esteem-nase.org/booster.php
National Association for Self Esteem (2010). Self-Esteem Lesson Plan Imporiving Self Esteem in Adults. Retrieved January 14, 2012 from: http://www.self-esteem-nase.org/self-esteem-lesson-plan.php
National Association for Self Esteem (2010). What is Self-Esteem? Retrieved January 14, 2012 from: http://www.self-esteem-nase.org/what.php
