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Tag: love

  • I’m pregnant and my husband doesn’t come home…

    The Question:

    Dear kristin nicole;

    I have read some on the stories and comments you gave to other women, and I’m in the same kind of boat and I don’t know what to believe or do. So here is my story please help.

    Me and my husband have been married for 9 months, still newlyweds but have lots of problems. We or I should say I did rush into due to a baby on the way and I loved him and he loved me. So we got married. It was great we were happy. He has a kid from a previous relationship and I do to, but he was great with my daughter, I mean great. That’s her daddy, and especially since her father is out of the picture. We lost the baby I was pregnant with 2 weeks after the wedding. We were both sad. We both want a baby and have been trying since then, but we argue all the time. He says he has no say so in anything the house, my daughter nothing. I just disagree on something and he doesn’t understand. The arguing has got bad over little things. So much that his son doesn’t want to come here anymore. We are both tired of it, he’s even said he wanted a divorce. So to my big problem I found out in November we where pregnant I was so excited because we had been trying and praying, but he didn’t seem too happy. We started arguing about baby names he started saying he had no say in this either, that I’m always downing him and acting different with his son, which is not true. I speak my opinion and I disagree. I do agree I am different with his son and my daughter and I’m sorry for that. For the last past two weeks its been hell fighting all the time. He was getting laid off from his job and I tried talking to him, it wasn’t good enough. He said I act as if I could care less, but I tried talk to him so two weeks ago after a fight about me not caring he left for work and hasn’t come back. His story is he has a new job and there working out of town, he will be home this day. When they day comes its something else his car broke he cant make it. I’ve accused him of cheating being with someone else and he said he’s not with anyone else that he is just working and that he is tired of me accusing him all the time. When I try to talk to him about what I feel and I love him, he avoids my questions or when I ask when are you coming home he gives me a day and it never happens. He wasn’t even here for Christmas and that made me really mad and I went off on him and told him to just come get his stuff I wanted a divorce because I cant take his lying and him not begin here especially with me three months pregnant with his baby, it hurt bad and I don’t know what to. I love him and I want us to be a family, my daughter loves him and miss I him. I don’t believe he’s working out of town. He said he was working today but he always has his son and he told me he was taking him to work with him. That’s BS because you don’t take a 5 year old to your so called new job especially when you say you are building apts. He came home Thursday wanting sex and got some more clothes said he would be back Saturday and like always he came up with an excuse. I do not know what to do. I need help… why would he just walk away after knocking me up and after me telling him we can work on this, that we have a baby on the way and that I don’t want to go down this road. He accuses me of sleeping with people but I love him to much to do that. Bills are behind because of his actions and I just need some advice. Please I don’t want to lose him.

    ~Desperate

    My Response:

    Dear Desperate;

    Sometimes men get scared, and having a child together is a big deal. He may be feeling confused since you have been arguing lately. Try sitting down with him and talking to him. Explain to him how you feel, that you love him and you don’t want to be arguing all the time. You want to make sure he is happy in your marriage. You can try telling him how you feel but if he’s not willing to try, there is nothing you can do. The fact that you are suspicious of him cheating on you and that he doesn’t show up sometimes is not a good sign. You need to try and think of you and your baby at this point, is this type of relationship you want to show your child? Is the type of man you truly want for yourself? I know it’s not easy and you are definitely in a hard position but you have to think about your unborn child now. The most important thing to do is to take care of yourself. If you have family you can stay with, try getting your bills paid and try making a life for you and your child. It sounds to me like you can do better then this guy…. If he was a real man he would stand up and try to make things work with you. If he truly loves you he will at least TRY to make it work.

    I hope I could help. I hope your New Year gets better in time.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • Saturday Morning Breakfast for Two

    I got inspired by a recipe in Barefoot Contessa’s cook book. It’s called Omelet for two.

    Ingredients

    * 1/4 pound good thick-cut bacon
    * 1 tablespoon unsalted butter
    * 1 cup medium-diced Yukon gold potato
    * 1/2 cup chopped yellow onion
    * 1 tablespoon minced jalapeno pepper
    * 5 extra-large eggs
    * 2 tablespoons milk or cream
    * 1 teaspoon kosher salt
    * 1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
    * 1/4 cup chopped scallions, white and green parts
    * 4 ounces extra-sharp Cheddar, diced, plus extra grated cheese, for garnish

    Directions

    Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.

    Cut the bacon crosswise in 1-inch slices. Cook the bacon in an 8-inch ovenproof saute pan over medium-low heat for 5 to 7 minutes, stirring occasionally, until browned. Drain the bacon on paper towels and discard the fat from the pan. Add the butter to the pan, and then add the potato and yellow onion. Cook over medium-low heat for about 10 minutes, tossing occasionally, until the onion starts to brown and the potato is tender but firm. Add the jalapeno pepper and cook for 30 seconds.

    Meanwhile, in a medium bowl, beat the eggs, milk, salt, and pepper together with a fork. Stir in the scallions and diced Cheddar. When the potato is cooked, add the bacon to the pan and pour over the egg mixture. Place the pan in the oven for 15 to 20 minutes, until the omelet puffs and the eggs are almost cooked in the center. Sprinkle with a handful of grated Cheddar and bake for another minute. Serve hot directly from the pan. (to see her recipe click on link foodnetwork.com-ina-garten )

    My recipe:

    Ingredients:

    * 1/4 pound good thick-cut turkey bacon
    * 1/2 cup of chorizo
    * 1 tablespoon salted butter
    * 1 cup medium-diced Red potato
    * 1/2 cup chopped Red onion
    * 6 large eggs
    * 2 tablespoons fat free milk
    * 1 teaspoon kosher salt
    * 1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
    * 1/4 cup chopped curly parsley, & 1 twig of Rosemary
    * 2 to 3 handfuls of mozzarella cheese, plus extra mozzarella and one palm full of Mexican mixed cheese, for garnish

    Directions:

    Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.

    Cut the bacon in 1-inch slices. Cook the bacon in an 8-inch ovenproof saute pan over medium-low heat (If you use Turkey Bacon like I do, spray the pan with Pam first because the turkey bacon tends to stick to the bottom of the pan) for 5 to 7 minutes, stirring occasionally, until browned. Drain the bacon on paper towels and discard the fat from the pan. Add the butter to the pan, and then add the potato and red onion. Cook over medium-low heat for about 10 minutes, tossing occasionally, until the onion starts to brown and the potato is tender but firm. Add the Chorizo for about 2-4 minutes.

    Meanwhile, in a medium bowl, beat the eggs, milk, salt, and pepper together with a fork. Stir in the parsley and rosemary along with the mozzarella cheese. When the potato is cooked, add the bacon to the pan and pour over the egg mixture. Place the pan in the oven for 15 to 20 minutes, until the omelet puffs and the eggs are almost cooked in the center. Sprinkle with a handful of grated Mexican mixed cheese and mozzarella cheese and bake for another minute.(Depending how much cheese you like). Serve hot directly from the pan.

    Yummmm

    Boy was this dish DELISH! I couldn’t believe how my inspiration for cooking this dish came from stuff I had at home mixed with Barefoot Contessa’s recipe. I definitely want to try Ida’s recipe, but I wouldn’t mind doing mine again either. I might even try a healthier version next weekend. Hope you enjoy, it’s a must try recipe. By the way, it says Omelet for Two but this is more for about 3 people. I only ate half of my slice.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • Saturday Night Dinner Recipes

    Saturday night I decided to try a few recipes from my oh so favorite, foodnetwork.com

    Shopping:

    For the appetizer I decided to go for the Spinach and Artichoke Dip. First let me start off by saying Frozen Artichokes are hard to come by. I first started my shopping at Whole Foods, and they didn’t have any, so we headed to WinnDixie where I didn’t find them there either, so off to Publix, because Publix has to have them right? Ehhhh WRONG! They didn’t have them either, so as I ask people no one tells me that they come in a can, and I didn’t find this out until later when my boyfriends mom told us about it. So I bought baby artichokes because I couldn’t even find just one regular sized artichoke at Publix. I get home and find out that cooking this thing is going to take about 25-45 minutes. So we opted to return it and try buying the artichokes in a can at another Publix. While I was there, I decided to try and see if they had the frozen ones, and to my surprise, they did! YEAH for me, I can do the recipe as follows. So off to my house to start my first course.

    BTW:

    My other recipes included my Main Dish – Rib-Eye Steak with Black Olive Vinaigrette and for my side dish, Roasted Tomatoes with Garlic, Gorgonzola and Herbs. They ask for Roma Tomatoes but I couldn’t find those either in Whole Foods, so thanks to the help of one of their employee’s I found out that Roma Tomatoes is the same as a Plum Tomato which they did have. Don’t worry folks, I didn’t just take his word, my boyfriend looked it up on the iPhone and found the same thing. And just in case you are ever wondering, Red Pepper Flakes is the same as Chili Pepper Flakes. (Another item I couldn’t find). So on to the recipes…

    Hot Spinach and Artichoke Dip:

    Ingredients

    * 1 cup thawed, chopped frozen spinach
    * 11/2 cups thawed, chopped frozen artichoke hearts
    * 6 ounces cream cheese
    * 1/4 cup sour cream
    * 1/4 cup mayonnaise
    * 1/3 cup grated Parmesan
    * 1/2 teaspoon red pepper flakes
    * 1/4 teaspoon salt
    * 1/4 teaspoon garlic powder

    Directions

    Boil spinach and artichokes in 1 cup of water until tender and drain. Discard liquid. Heat cream cheese in microwave for 1 minute or until hot and soft. Stir in rest of ingredients and serve hot. — Recipe courtesy Alton Brown (if you want to see the recipe click on link foodnetwork.com )

    I followed the directions to a tee, and it did come out a little creamier then I thought, so if you don’t like too much cream cut the portions I say a 1/4 or 1/2 of what they ask. However, at first I wasn’t sure because it looked so creamy, but I have to admit, it came out DELISH! I added a few pitta chips on the side and get ready to dig in.

    Main Dish – Rib-Eye Steak with Black Olive Vinaigrette:

    Ingredients
    Rib-eye Steak:

    * 1 2-inch rib-eye steak, boneless
    * 1 tablespoons olive oil
    * 1 tablespoon herbes de Provence
    * 1 teaspoon salt
    * 1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

    Black Olive Vinaigrette:

    * 1/2 cup black olives, pitted
    * 3 tablespoons red wine vinegar
    * 2 teaspoons Dijon mustard
    * 1 garlic clove
    * 1/2 teaspoon salt
    * 1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
    * 6 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
    * 6 tablespoons vegetable oil
    * 2 tablespoons chopped fresh flat-leaf parsley

    Directions

    For the Rib-eye: Preheat your grill pan on medium high heat. Coat the beef with olive oil and sprinkle with the Herbs de Provence, salt, and pepper. Cook for 6 to 8 minutes a side until the meat is medium-rare, remove from heat, and allow to rest.

    For the Black Olive Vinaigrette: Combine the olives, red wine vinegar, mustard, garlic, salt, and pepper in a blender and blend until mixed. In a small pitcher combine the olive oil and vegetable oil. Drizzle the oil into the blender with the machine running. Transfer the vinaigrette to a serving dish. Stir in the parsley and serve with the rib-eye. — Recipe courtesy Giada De Laurentiis (for the recipe go to foodnetwork-everday-italian.com )

    At first I wasn’t sure I would like the Black Olive Vinaigrette because I am not a huge fan of black olives, although I don’t mind a few in my salad or on my pizza, I am not one to just pick them out and eat them. So I didn’t add as many olives as she required, just a few less, not much a difference and instead of 6 tablespoons of vegetable oil (btw vegetable oil is very similar to canola oil) I only added 5, but boy was it good. I just wanted more on top of my Medium Rare steak which by the way also came out DELISH! The Rib-Eye is simple to make and depending how you like it cooked that’s the only thing time consuming. If you like it like my boyfriend and I do, Medium Rare, then the dish only takes about 6-8 minutes on each side, depending on how thick you bought your Rib-Eye.

    My Side Dish – Roasted Tomatoes with Garlic, Gorgonzola and Herbs:

    Ingredients

    * 12 Roma tomatoes, sliced in 1/2 lengthwise
    * 1/4 cup olive oil
    * 2 cloves garlic, minced
    * 1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
    * 1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
    * 3/4 cup plain bread crumbs
    * 3/4 cup finely crumbled Gorgonzola or grated Parmesan cheese
    * 2 tablespoons chopped fresh flat-leaf parsley

    Directions

    Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F.

    Using a teaspoon or grapefruit spoon, remove the seeds from the tomatoes. Place the tomato halves, cut side down, on paper towels to drain, about 5 minutes.

    In a large bowl, mix together 2 tablespoons of the olive oil, garlic, salt, and pepper. Using clean hands, gently toss the drained tomato halves in the oil mixture until coated. Marinate the tomatoes for 10 minutes.

    In a small bowl mix together the bread crumbs and Gorgonzola cheese.

    Place the marinated tomato halves, cut side up, on a parchment paper-lined baking sheet. Fill each tomato half with the bread crumb filling. Drizzle with the remaining olive oil. Bake for 20 to 25 minutes until slightly softened and the underside of the tomatoes are brown.

    Arrange the cooked tomatoes on a serving platter. Sprinkle with the chopped parsley and serve immediately. –Recipe courtesy Giada De Laurentiis (For recipe click on link Foodnetwork.com-everyday-italian )

    Okay so my only problem was finding the Roma Tomatoes, also if you are only cooking for 4 people, 12 is way too many, 5 tomatoes are plenty. So I followed the directions and I used Gorgonzola NOT Parmesan as my cheese. It’s your choice but if you have never tried Gorgonzola I say try it, but make sure to get one that is not too strong if you don’t like a strong cheese, and if you do, go for it. But we opted for the creamer Gorgonzola. So because I used less tomatoes don’t use as many bread crumbs in your recipe. This plate came out good, but my boyfriend and I weren’t too in love with the bread crumbs, however the idea inspired me and next time I might use the garlic to season the tomatoes and the Gorgonzola cheese for the filling but I might add a few different items and leave out the bread crumbs. However, all in all the dishes came out DELISH!

    I love trying new recipes and next Saturday I’ll probably try another.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • Struggling mind

    My mind struggles to think
    I can feel every aspect in my mind trying to focus
    but every time I close my eyes and try to think of nothing
    I can’t!
    It’s in constant motion,
    constant thinking
    negative thoughts, positive thoughts
    but mostly just thoughts.

    How can you get your mind to relax, to just not think of anything at all. Fully focus on nothing and let your body just relax.

    Some say sleep is a form of relaxation.
    Many people don’t remember their dreams, but I dream almost every night.
    Mostly nonsense stuff that doesn’t even make sense.
    When I wake up I feel exhausted sometimes, feeling like that dream had me running for miles.

    My mind has control of me, my thoughts, my dreams my desires. How do you make it stop just for one second?
    Just stop for one second so that I can breath with out feeling the pressure in my head.
    Stop for one second so I can think straight.
    When I read, I’m thinking
    When I lie there, I’m thinking
    When I dream, I’m thinking
    It never just stops, it never just lets me relax, it never just lets me BE ME!

    It’s like a fish in a bowl, swimming in circles for hours, for days until he takes his last breath. I sometimes feel like that, a routine, work, school, play, work, school, play. It never just stops, I never stop.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    © –written by: kristin nicole — January 22, 2010 @ 10:15 am– Inspired by a dream, stuck in a dream–

  • Healthy Vegi Sandwich

    The Shopping List for Vegi Sandwich:

    4 slices of Sourdough bread
    1 red bell pepper
    vegetable oil
    olive oil
    2 big portobello
    1 eggplant
    4 basil leaves
    fresh mozzarella
    White Onion cut 1/4
    1 tbsp of unsalted butter
    1 tsp paprika
    Salt
    Pepper

    The Shopping List for Garlic Mayo:

    1/4 cup Low fat Mayonaise
    Half a lemon
    1 1/2 tsp Garlic powder
    Dash of Salt & Pepper

    How to make it:

    Pre-Heat the Oven on Broil at 350 degrees f.

    Take the Red pepper and with a pastry brush, brush vegetable oil all over the red pepper, make sure that the creases are also covered in the vegetable oil. Place the red pepper on the top rack of the oven on a backing sheet, 5-8 minutes on each side. When you see that the red pepper is turning a little black on top grab a pair of tongs and flip the red pepper on the other side for another 5-8 minutes or until it starts turning black. Once the pepper is ready place it in a bowl and cover it with saran wrap (plastic wrap) for 15-20 minutes.

    While the pepper is cooling off in its bowl, take the white onion and cut it in 1/4 cut. Rough chop it, you want big pieces of the onion to put into your sandwich. Take a non-stick pan and place the butter and onions on medium-low heat, season with a little salt and pepper and add paprika. Leave cooking until you see the onions soften, then place covered and leave on warm stove. While the onions are cooking, begin to heat up an indoor grill, while the grill starts warming up take the eggplant and cut off the skin. Cut both ends off so that the eggplant stands up, then cut about 1/2 inch each straight down. Cut 3 pieces and wrap and refrigerate the remainder of the eggplant for dinner tomorrow or another day. Once you cut the eggplant dribble a little bit of olive oil on top of each piece and season with salt and pepper. Place the eggplant on the grill about 5-6 minutes on each side or until you start seeing the grill marks. Take the portobello and rub with a little bit of olive oil, season with salt and pepper on both sides. Once you have room for the portobellos place them on the grill about 7-8 minutes on each side or until the portobello begins to soften.

    While that is cooking you can now take the red pepper out of the bowl. It will be soft so you can just pull the stem right off, cut the red pepper in half and scrap out all the seeds. The skin of the pepper will peal right off. (You now have a roasted red pepper, remember you can always buy them in a jar, but I think this way is so much better).

    How to make the Garlic Mayo:

    While the vegis are grilling you can make the mayo. Take 1/4 cup of Mayo, mix with half a lemon wedge and add a dash of salt and pepper and 1 1/2 tsp of garlic powder. Stir good and refrigerate until ready.

    Finish the sandwich:

    First cut 4 good slices of the mozzarella cheese and have the basil leaves ready for the sandwich and cut the portobello in half so that you have 4 slices. Once all the vegi’s are cooked, sprinkle a little bit of olive oil on both sides of the bread, place two slices of the bread on the grill, while one side is cooking grab your garlic mayo, once one side of the bread has a few grill marks flip over. Take a butter knife and spread some of the garlic mayo on both slices, place 1/2 of the roasted red pepper on one side with 1 1/2 slices of the eggplant on top, on the other bread place 2 basil leaves, 2 slices of the mozzarella cheese and 2 pieces of the portobello that were cut in half and place both slices side to side, take some of your onions and put on top of the eggplants. Take the sandwich off the grill, cut in half and serve. Do the same with the other sandwich. Bon appetit =)

    My thoughts:

    Well of course I’m going to say it’s good, I made it, but in all honesty, I have to admit, it really was just simply Delish! My boyfriend loved it, not only is it healthy, it’s delish. The sweet pepper, with the eggplant and portobello, and onions ohhh and that garlic mayo it’s all just so good. The mozzarella cheese just melts in your mouth and you get that little kick from the basil leaves. You have to try this recipe. If you do let me know how it comes out.

    Hope you enjoy!

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • Is Romance Overrated?!?

    Romance By Definition:

    a. A love affair.
    b. Ardent emotional attachment or involvement between people; love: They kept the romance alive in their marriage for 35 years.
    c. A strong, sometimes short-lived attachment, fascination, or enthusiasm for something: a childhood romance with the sea.

    Is it overrated?!?

    As a young girl, you watch all these movies that make you wonder, is Love really out there?!? Is there really that guy out there that will romance me and whisk me away into a fairytale ending?!? Unfortunately Life doesn’t work that way. There really is no Prince Charming to whisk you away into a castle, and you don’t become a princess over night. However, love is out there, that I do believe. But is Romance overrated?!? Do we expect men to ROMANCE us to wine and dine us until we simply just fall into there laps, giving them all our attention and love, Or do we just want Romance because that’s what the world tells us we want?!?

    My thoughts

    I think every girl wants romance, it doesn’t matter if that movie isn’t real, it just matters that a guy would try to make a night romantic, it just melts a girls heart. It shows how much the man cares or loves the women, and in every aspect in the girls heart, it tells her “He really does care”. To go out of his way, and make this a special night just for me?!? What more can a girl ask for?!?

    There are some men out there that love to be romantic and constantly romance their women. However, there is that guy that just doesn’t see a point to romancing their women if they already have her. It’s not something you do to catch the girl, it’s something you do to show how much you love her, to show that you care enough to think about doing something so unexpected. I wouldn’t want romance all the time, it would kill the idea of being surprised every once in a while. But in a dark room, where your thoughts lie, you always dream about that one night, when the guy will come to romance you in ways you’ve never known.

    Examples

    The intimate setting of rose petals, candles, some massage oils, strawberries and campaign. (Something simple, that I’m sure most women would love).

    I once heard a story about a proposal, it was so cute:

    The story:

    The girl got home from work to find a note from her boyfriend, it said pack 2 over night clothes for day and night and at 5pm a limo will be showing up to pick you up to take you to the airport. Don’t worry about where I’m taking you, just get ready. At 5pm sharp, there was a knock on the door, and the limo driver stood there with one single rose in his hand. He handed it to her and on the rose read a note: “From the moment I fell in love with you, I knew you were the one”. The limo driver took her bags and headed to the airport. At the airport she stood in the check in line and the lady at the counter logged her in and gave her another single rose. The girl looked around wondering how she knew who she was. There was another note “With every day that passes my love for you grows”. She got to the plane and to her surprise she was sitting first class. She boarded the plane to New York, and the flight attendant came up to her and handed her another single rose. Now she was freaking out. She asked if she knew her boyfriend, and the flight attendant just said no, she was just told to give this rose the person sitting in Row A Seat 2. Another note…”I know you are freaking out, but don’t, I’ll see you soon”. She landed in New York and a limo driver was waiting with her name, he took her bags and handed her another single rose with another note that read “I’ll see you soon”. She was starting to get nervous, what could all this mean. She didn’t think he would be proposing considering they had talked about it, but it just didn’t seem as if he was ready any time soon, so this had to be something different, right?!? The limo driver took her to Central Park, and told her to get on that carriage there. She asked the man if he knew her boyfriend and he said please hop on and I’ll take you to him. He handed her a single rose and a note that read “I’ve never known anyone like you, smart, funny, sexy, my best friend”. Has she rode her way through Central Park she saw candles lighting up the sidewalk and at the end of it was her boyfriend with a dozen Lilly’s and roses, as she walked up to him he got down on one knee, her hands began to shake because she couldn’t believe what was happening, he opened the box and told her how much he loved her, he couldn’t see himself with any other women, she was his best friend and he wanted her to be his wife. “Will you marry me”? With tears in her eyes she said YES!

    Now that’s a Romantic Proposal!

    So is Romance Overrated?!? Or is it just something we want to have?

    What lies behind us, and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. ~ by Ralph Waldo Emerson ~

    When you love someone, all your saved-up wishes start coming out.
    ~ by Elizabeth Bowen (1899-1973) ~

    xo
    kristin nicole

  • My husband is not romantic, is it unrealistic to ask him to be more romantic?

    The Question:

    My husband is not romantic, is it unrealistic to ask him to be more romantic?

    For example, we rarely do gift exchange but I would like to, and I told my husband it would be nice if he could sometimes buy me presents. I don’t care about material things, but I just think it’s a nice gesture to do for your wife/husband. And whenever we go out together, I am always the one who initiates, but I want him to initiate too. I feel like I’m always the one forcing him, or making him spend time with me.

    Is it fair for me to ask such things of him?

    ~Asking for Too Much

    My Response:

    Dear Asking for Too Much;

    I am assuming your husband didn’t stop being romantic from one day to the next, you probably already knew he was like this before you married him. With that said, it doesn’t mean that it’s too much to ask for. You have to talk to your husband, communicate to him how you feel and that you understand he isn’t romantic but it would be nice for him to make a little more effort when it came to gifts and going out for dinner. I think it’s important to get each other gifts especially during special occasions, it doesn’t have to be expensive just a little something to show you care. It makes a person feel good about their relationship when you get little surprises, like flowers on a Wednesday. Talk to your husband, tell him how you feel and try to surprise him every once in a while too. 😉

    Good luck
    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • His Religious Parents Don’t approve & I feel Guilty he left home for me…

    The Question:

    Dear Kristin Nicole;

    I am in desperate need of help. I have been in a relationship for few years now. We are both 24, and want to get engaged. In our culture we have to have our parents permission to get engaged and for the engagement ceremony the parents sit down and decide a date etc. His parents had no reason to say no to this relationship (I am as educated as he is, I earn as much as he does, we are from the same culture, same religion, same caste, same well educated family background, as good looking as he is, loves him as much he does me). His parents first made some excuses but then allowed us to date, but when it started getting serious they have been stubborn and blackmailing him (by saying they will die if he moves out and gets married to me) beating him up (I AM SERIOUS. they are beating up a 24 year old guy). They lock him up in the room just so that he cant come see me… torturing him by saying things like the will kill themselves if he gets married to me, that he has forgotten their 24 years of raising him, for one girl etc. His parents even called my parents and abused them and asked them for me to loose contact with him. TALKING and asking for reasons doesn’t work, all they have to say is “we feel that if you guys get married it will end up in a divorce”. His parents haven’t even met me yet and they said no because they feel he loves me so much and I will take advantage of it in future.

    He loves me a lot and he has been going through all this suffering just to get a YES from his parents. (because he doesn’t want his parents to blame me for snatching away their child in future) now he has finally decided to move out after 3 months of painful suffering just because of me. I don’t know why I feel guilty for his separation from his parents! I feel if I never came to his life he wouldn’t have gone through all this **** and crap! Am I doing the wrong thing by wanting to spend my life with him and by making him move out of his house?

    What is the best solution in this situation? I NEED HELP. I have been under severe depression and stress and frustration and I cant take it anymore. I NEED TO KNOW IF THERE IS ANY OTHER SOLUTION???
    Waiting for your reply…

    ~guilty

    My Response:

    Dear Guilty;

    It seems to me that no matter what woman your boyfriend was going to take home, they weren’t going to be good enough for his family. If they haven’t even met you yet, they have no right to judge. I understand that in these types of religions that the parents have a little more control over the situation. (I am not sure what religion you are and the extent of the situation). However, no parent, I don’t care what religion you are, has the right to abuse a child. Locking him up in his room is abuse and that is not to be taken lightly. Your boyfriend is no longer a child but a 24 year old man, and if he chooses to move out of his home, it is his right and his decision. I understand that he moved out to be with you, but you cannot blame yourself for the situation that stands between his parents and himself. His parents obviously have some issues they need to attend to, and your boyfriend needs to stand up and talk to them, explain to them that you both don’t want them to not be in your lives but that they need to understand that he loves you and all the both of you want is for them to give you their blessing and accept you into their family. I know it’s easier said than done, but maybe you need to go together to speak to his parents. Talk to your boyfriend first and explain to him how you feel, I am sure he does not blame you for leaving his house, this was his decision and he is a grown man. Communication is key in any relationship, you can’t hold in what you are feeling, you need to talk to your boyfriend and try to see what you can do together to make this relationship work. Don’t feel guilty, you have done nothing wrong but love your boyfriend….

    Good luck

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    If you need more advice don’t hesitate to email me.

  • Inspiration

    This week…

    So this week I didn’t have many Advice columns, I was inspired to write from the heart, write about life and questions that we sometimes have. I have come across a few people in my life, friends that have come and gone, boyfriends, and family and I know so many people who have the same questions. Sometimes we think we are alone in what we feel, we feel like no one can ever understand us. In some cases no one will know 100% of what you feel because everyone goes through life differently and everyone reacts differently to situations, but just because you go through it differently doesn’t mean another person can’t understand what you are going through.

    Life is a road we all must take, and although we don’t know where it is going, we drive on it anyway, hoping it leads us to that happy ending in the sky….

    Inspiration:

    In life I have met people who have inspired me to become a better person, inspired me to fight for what I want and inspired me that no matter what you may think about yourself or what others may think of you, in the end you will find your way….
    Life has brought a lot of negative things but it’s also brought a lot of positive, loving things. If we dwell on the negative that has happened to us then we will never be able to truly move forward, we will never be able to truly feel the happiness that is out there waiting for us. I can’t say I haven’t held grudges or that I’m perfect, and I am not saying it’s easy to forgive someone that has hurt you, but if we can’t change the past, we can’t change what happened to us then we need to learn how to move on from it. We need to learn that the past stays in the past and our future has so many more possibilities filled with love and happiness. I have to believe that there is more out there for me, just like I know there is more out there for you (the person reading this). Each day I get closer to my dreams coming true.

    Today I am inspired to become a better person
    Today I am inspired to make my dreams come true
    Today I am inspired to believe in the unbelievable
    Today I am inspired to Love
    Today I am inspired to take in the cool air and imagine the possibilities
    Today I am just inspired…..

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    © kristin nicole

  • Is it ever too late?

    Is it ever too late?

    Sometimes in life we wonder if it’s ever to late to do some of the things we wished we had done when we were younger. Is it too late to go back to school and finish my degree? Is it too late to tell him/her I love him/her? Is it too late to buy those shoes I saw in the window? Is it too late to move to another city? Is it too late?

    Nothing in life is ever easy, no one can tell you to turn right instead of left, and at the end of the day it’s never too late….

    I hate to say I’m passed the age where I should have already received a Master’s Degree, let alone my Bachelors, but I’m in school and little by little working my way to getting that degree. I thought at one point it was too late, too late to continue and do what I want to do, too late to finish and too late to follow my dreams. I’m living proof that it’s never too late. Sure it’s taking me long enough, but I have to work full time and go to school, and although it isn’t easy each day moves forward and each day is a day closer to that degree. Going to school online I meet people who are a lot older than I am, also living proof, that ‘It’s NEVER too late’.

    I still wonder about the ‘what ifs’, I wonder where I would be and what I would be doing, but in life ‘EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON’, and I truly believe that. (That’s another story I would have to tell you about another time…). But like I said….things happen for a reason. We meet people in our lives who cross our paths only to introduce us to people that will be in our future. If we sit here all the time wondering about the what ifs, and is it ever too lates… in the world, then life will pass us by and we’ll never know what could have been.

    It’s never too late to live your dream, buy those shoes in the window or tell that person you love them. Don’t stop dreaming, don’t stop believing in hope, and have faith and strength to do the things you want to do in life. I’m not perfect and sometimes I get scared to move to the next step in life, but if we don’t keep walking forward, then we’ll miss out on all the great things life has to offer us. With every hard moment in life a good moment is right around the corner. With every little fear inside of us, lives the strength and hope to keep us moving forward. It’s never too late to do the things we want to do in life. Life is too short, don’t live it wondering if it’s too late, just get out there and go for it.

    xo,
    kristin nicole