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  • Advice Column: My husband’s cheated

    Advice Column: My husband’s cheated. Image found on google.com/images

    Advice Column: My husband’s cheated…

    The Question:

    I’m getting confused about my husband…

    My husband has started being secretive about things, hiding passwords and such. I recently was able to see his Facebook page and my thoughts were true, [sic] he’s on there chatting with other women and giving his number out. When I confronted him with this, he took me off his friends page so I couldn’t even see what he is doing. He cheated once before so the trust isn’t strong between us. Also a young girl that really isn’t my friend told me she has been friends with him and that he is willing to be more than friends. He is asking for her number and has yet to come out and say he is married. I’m getting to the point where I don’t want him around and I have to be almost drunk to have sex with him because its hard to want someone who clearly doesn’t want you. I’m going into a state of depression and I know it wont be good for my kids to see me like this. I have asked him to leave many time but he claims he wont because there is nothing wrong with flirting. What do I do?

    (Edited)

    My Response:

    Dear Open Your Eyes;

    Let’s start with the fact that the trust is already gone because he has already cheated on you once. That should have been the first sign to get out! If your husband took you off his friends list on his Facebook, I would definitely think something is going on. You already saw his Facebook and got proof that he is talking to other women and giving his number out (although there is no proof that he has physically cheated on you, this is still a form of emotional cheating), you also said that another woman told you that he would be more than friends with her and you were never even mentioned as his wife. What more do you want?

    Do you need to actually catch him cheating on you again, to finally realize that this guy is a looser and that he really does not love you? I’m sorry and I don’t mean to be harsh, but you need to wake up and realize that you can do so much better then this guy. You said it yourself “I have to be almost drunk to have sex with him because it’s hard to want someone who clearly doesn’t want you.” You already know what you need to do and although you said he won’t leave even after you asked him, you need to tell him that this ISN’T HIS CHOICE to make.

    He needs to get out of your house, or you will leave somewhere else with the kids. I don’t know if you have family or friends that you can talk to, but if you do you need to see if you can stay with them. Tell him you want his stuff out of the house by a certain date and you will not return until it is done. You have kids with this man, and it is not good to be depressed and for them to see what their father is doing to you. He needs to grow up and commit. He obviously was not ready for that the first time he cheated on you. And like I said earlier that should have been a clear sign to get out! I know it’s easier said than done but you need to get him out of your home and you need to pull your life back together with your kids. Stay strong and remember that no man should ever treat a woman the way your husband has treated you. There is no excuse to cheat or take you off his Facebook or lie to your face about talking to other women. If he’s lying to your face about something you saw with your own eyes this should make you wonder, what else he is lying about. Stay strong and move on with your life. You deserve a real man to love you and be with you. Good luck!

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • My husband cheated several times and I keep taking him back!!?

    The Question:

    I found out he said he wanted to leave me for her and did, he said it was because I was neglecting him. I travel around a lot for work plus my family never really approved of him so it put a strain on our marriage. After a month he came crawling back,begged for my forgiveness, I took him back. Then I went away for 2 weeks to visit my mother and when I returned I found out that he again cheated ion me with the same girl. Said it was an accident and that it was for sure over this time. I forgave him because of my previous guilt of how I use to leave him for my work all the time
    ( I support the both of us and give him everything he wants) Then months later I read some of his old emails and find out he cheated with several different women. But this time there’s no excuse cause it was just a year into our marriage when he did it and at the time I wasn’t traveling. Is his love BS? Am I being stupid? I no longer work at the same place and my husband now currently supports us, great change after 5 years. Is he really trying to change?

    My Response:

    Dear Waiting for Change;

    I am not saying that someone can never change, but the past has proven otherwise. He has cheated on you more then once, he left you for the ‘other women’ and the first mistake you did was taking him back. You used the excuse of your traveling for work has an okay for him to do what he did to you. Truth is, it wasn’t okay, it doesn’t matter that you traveled, a marriage is through better and worse and if he did not like that you were traveling he should have been honest about it, that is definitely not an excuse to cheat. Now you find out he actually cheated on you before you started traveling for work and with several women, so now do you have an excuse has to why or why it’s okay? Open your eyes, and stop being pushed around, you deserve a man who is honest with you, who will love you and be faithful. No person deserves to be cheated on, if he wants to sleep around then he should have stayed single. Don’t settle for comfort or the fact that now he is supporting you, if you want a real marriage and real relationship without lies I think it’s time you move on. You deserve better, and you need to stand up for yourself and respect yourself to know that what he has done IS NOT RIGHT! Stop waiting for him to change and change your own life.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • My Best Friend might Cheat on her Husband…

    The Question:

    Do you think my married best friend is playing with fire? I’m fuming inside knowing this… My best friend has a wonderful, caring, good-looking husband and children. They seem to have everything going for them. There’s this married man we both know who’s high profile in the community. I’m a single mom btw. Anyway, he became friendly with me and we had a so-called emotional affair for a few years; I guess I was desperate and vulnerable and I regret it all. Now I’m sure he’s after my best friend because he went over for lunch at her place yesterday and the hubby wasn’t there; this is confirmed. He now invited them to his place, at the same time as me and my child (while the wife is gone of course). What should I do? Ignore him and my “best friend”? I can’t believe this is happening.
    — He obviously uses the kids to get through to the mom. He has 2 failed marriages under his belt and is a player, no doubt about that one.

    My Response:

    Dear Friend;

    It really is not your business and your friend is a grown woman so she can do has she pleases. I would stay out of it and just do your own thing. Getting involved might just cause drama you don’t really need in your life. If you feel you can’t stay quiet then confront your friend and talk to her, but after that it is her decision whether or not she pursues anything with this man. After this, just leave it alone and try not to get involved in something that really has nothing to do with you.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • How come my Husband doesn’t divorce me even though he is living with his girlfriend?

    The Question:

    How come my Husband doesn’t divorce me even though he is living with his girlfriend?

    Me and my husband separated a year ago because he cheated on me, and he believes that I have cheated on him (I really haven’t). Now he is living with one of his ex-girlfriends and she asked him to call me & tell me that he wants a divorce. This hurt me really bad because I still love him very much. Then he secretly calls back saying that he will never divorce me and that he will always love me. What does that mean? I wonder if he still loves me and wants to work it out someday in the future… any men have similar stories or might have an idea what he may be thinking?

    My Response:

    Dear in DENIAL;

    I’m sorry if I am going to be blunt, but WAKE UP!!! He cheated on you and now he is living with an ex girlfriend, what more do you want him to do in order for you to realize that he is a looser? You deserve more then that, you deserve someone who will love you and not cheat on you, and please do not say that your husband truly loves you, because if he did he would have never cheated on you, and if he did he wouldn’t be living with his ex-girlfriend right now. Your husband is manipulating you, he has the best of both worlds; a wife at home waiting for him and a girlfriend who he gets to sleep with and live with. In other words… your husband is having his cake and eating it too…. I know….cliche metaphor but it is what it is. Don’t let him walk over you and stand up for yourself; if you want to make your marriage work tell him but honestly the trust is so broken that it is probably going to be a very hard road ahead of you to even try to fix things between the two of you. Respect yourself enough to not take such emotional abuse and Love yourself enough to know that you DESERVE BETTER!

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on <a/ href=”http://answers.yahoo.com”>Answers.Yahoo.com

  • I am in love with my wife’s brother’s daughter?

    The Question:

    I am in love with my wife’s brother’s daughter… She also can’t live without me. I am afraid of the consequences. I also have a son. I tried many times to break but failed, what should I do?

    My Response:

    Dear Disturbed;

    My first reaction: IS THIS A REAL QUESTION?
    Second: That would make her your Niece and that is just wrong.
    Third: How old are you and how old is she?

    Okay so you are in love with your niece (not by blood) but by marriage, and either way this is wrong. I am assuming she is much younger then you and I am assuming that your wife has no clue. First off, why stay in a marriage you aren’t happy in? You obviously do not love your wife to go as far as to sleep with her niece. I would break off whatever it is you think you have going on with this girl, depending on where you live, if the brother (her dad) finds out, this can be considered statutory rape (again I don’t know how old she is) if she is older then it will only cause a lot of problems between you and the family. Do you want to be in a relationship where everyone will not only hate you, but where you will drift her away from her own family. She should also know better, because you are her Aunts husband, and not only is she having an affair with a married man, but to a man who is married into her family. You need to end things with her, and I mean you needed to end this YESTERDAY. Well… you needed to never have started this in the first place… but what’s done is done, so now you need to try and fix things. If you aren’t happy in your marriage then get a divorce, do not cheat on your wife and do not do it with her NIECE. If you are here asking what you should do? I think deep down you already know that answer…

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • I fantasize about my sister in law…

    The Question:

    I fantasize about my sister in law, is that a bad thing? Do women like it when men fantasize about them sexually? Is it a sin?

    My Response:

    Dear Fantasy;

    Let’s start off with the fact that you fantasize about your sister in law – One Gross! That’s your sister in law and it’s just wrong on all levels, how would you feel if your wife was fantasizing about your brother or cousin or someone related to you? NOT GOOD, I am sure…. Second question “do women like it when men fantasize about them sexually?” SURE – If I’m dating you and if I’m not I would be a little flattered, but if you were my brother in law I would be disgusted and weirded out. Third question “Is it a sin?” – Depends how religious you are, some would say it definitely is a sin and others would say No. I would definitely keep these thoughts to yourself and don’t let your wife know, if not you are looking only for trouble.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • My husband allows me to date other guys…

    The Question:

    My husband allows me to date other guys…?

    My Response:

    Dear Dating While Married;

    No man I know would allow their wife or girlfriend to date other guys, Something is definitely wrong with this picture. Either he is seeing someone behind your back and feels that if you date other men it’s okay for him, he’s gay and in the closet and can’t come out to tell you, or something deeper is hiding deep inside. Do you ask yourself why your husband would want you to date other men? Do you want to date other men? I don’t understand the point of being married if you are going to date other men, you might as well be single and live the single life. I am also not sure if there is a question here? Are you asking if it’s okay that your husband allows you to date other men, because of that is the question that the answer is flat out NO!

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Can you stop loving someone?

    The Question:

    Do you believe that we can stop loving some one we used to love?
    She said she was in love with me but now she is not…….. how ??

    My Response:

    Dear Lost Love;

    I do believe that we can love someone and one day not love them anymore. Sometimes we think we are in love or that we love someone but we sometimes grow apart or realize that the person we thought we loved wasn’t the person we really wanted to be with. We can sometimes even not want to be with someone anymore and it doesn’t necessarily mean we don’t love that person, it just means we don’t want that kind of relationship with them. Love is hard and it doesn’t always make sense, she could have been confused or thought she loved you or wanted to try and love you but just realized she really didn’t. It is better that she was honest with you rather than have you there believing that she still loved you. I know it’s not easy, but move on, find yourself someone who will love you.

    Good Luck

    xo
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • My husband hit me but I want him back…

    The Question:

    Me and my husband of 6 weeks got into a big fight and he put his hands on me.I went to the cops and he’s in jail. I want to drop the charges on him; I love him and we’ve been together for 6 years what should I do? Am I stupid to want him back?

    My Response:

    Dear Abused;

    You aren’t stupid, it’s natural to want someone back that you love, and sometimes we try to find excuses for the people that hurt us. Unfortunately it starts with putting his hands on you once and asking for forgiveness, stating he would never touch you again, then it goes into him hitting you again and making you feel like it’s your fault. It’s never a persons fault for getting hit, because no one ever deserves that kind of abuse. You did the right thing by calling the cops and I know it’s hard because you just got married, but you have been with him for 6 years, has he never once in that time placed a hand on you? Some men don’t become abusive until after they get married, because they feel it’s harder for the women to leave them. It’s ultimately your choice here on whether to drop the charges or not, personally, I think any man who hits a women deserves to be in jail and more. If he’s never done this before, offer marriage counseling, and anger management classes and go from there, but if this is something that has happened in the past, and you keep coming up with excuses for him and saying you love him and feeling bad for putting him in jail then STOP! You are worth so much more than that, you deserve someone who will love you so much they would NEVER lay a hand on you. Respect yourself enough to not get treated that way.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com