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Tag: marriage

  • If you caught your Mom cheating, would you tell your Dad?

    The Question:

    If you caught your mom cheating would you tell your dad or not tell him? If not why? If so why?
    ~ My sister caught our mom doing it with a fellow half her age… Yes she had a cell phone that takes pictures, and took a picture for proof of my mom and this guy doing it. My mom is 51 years old and my dad is 55 years old; the fellow my sister took pictures of is probably 18 and having sex with our mom… What should we do, our dad has always been there for us and my sister says he has a right to know…?
    (Revised Question – KN)

    My Response:

    Dear Stuck in the Middle;

    This is a hard situation to be put in. I would definitely confront your mother first, and give her the opportunity to talk to your dad first. If she refuses to tell him the truth, then this is a choice you and your sister are going to have to make. I think no person should cheat on another person, and the fact that your mom is cheating on your dad with a younger man, and somewhere where she can obviously get caught by her own children is wrong on all levels, she has no regard on the consequences that her actions are causing. Talk to your mom first and then go from there.

    Good luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • I am in love with my wife’s brother’s daughter?

    The Question:

    I am in love with my wife’s brother’s daughter… She also can’t live without me. I am afraid of the consequences. I also have a son. I tried many times to break but failed, what should I do?

    My Response:

    Dear Disturbed;

    My first reaction: IS THIS A REAL QUESTION?
    Second: That would make her your Niece and that is just wrong.
    Third: How old are you and how old is she?

    Okay so you are in love with your niece (not by blood) but by marriage, and either way this is wrong. I am assuming she is much younger then you and I am assuming that your wife has no clue. First off, why stay in a marriage you aren’t happy in? You obviously do not love your wife to go as far as to sleep with her niece. I would break off whatever it is you think you have going on with this girl, depending on where you live, if the brother (her dad) finds out, this can be considered statutory rape (again I don’t know how old she is) if she is older then it will only cause a lot of problems between you and the family. Do you want to be in a relationship where everyone will not only hate you, but where you will drift her away from her own family. She should also know better, because you are her Aunts husband, and not only is she having an affair with a married man, but to a man who is married into her family. You need to end things with her, and I mean you needed to end this YESTERDAY. Well… you needed to never have started this in the first place… but what’s done is done, so now you need to try and fix things. If you aren’t happy in your marriage then get a divorce, do not cheat on your wife and do not do it with her NIECE. If you are here asking what you should do? I think deep down you already know that answer…

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Separated after 20 years of Marriage

    The Question:

    I am going through a separation after 20 years of marriage?
    I am a man on disability, my wife wants to leave me at 55 years old and 20 years of marriage. We have 2 boy’s what am I going to do???

    My Response:

    Dear Disability;

    It isn’t easy and I know you did not say that this is why your wife is leaving you (but you brought it up and one has nothing to do with the other) so I’m going to say it… I am sure that your wife is not leaving you just because you are on disability. (Again this may not even be what you are thinking). Have you sat down with your wife and tried to make the marriage work, figure out why she is leaving you? Communication is key, if you don’t talk, you can’t fix the problem. I know it must be hard to be married for 20 years, have children and be on disability and then have your wife leave you, but it is not the end of the world. You still have those two boys who I am sure love you. Stay focused on the good, and try to find things that you can do with your disability to stay busy. There are tons of groups that you can join, and remember you still have those two boys and that is always going to be your family. Stay strong…

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • I am married & sleeping with 2 men…

    The Question:

    I have been having an affair, and now I have a major problem?
    I’m married, and I have been seeing another man who works with me since mid May, and we have been having sex, well … a lot. He works in the same building as I do and he has the same lunch hour as I do, so we meet each other at lunch and, well, I know this is going to sound bad but … almost every day and, well you know what happens.

    Well, about two weeks ago, one of my other male co-workers figured out what me and this other guy have been doing at lunch, so he asked me if I wanted a change. He was really handsome and I couldn’t resist, so I had some fun with him too and it was so good, so I started to see him as well.

    Last weekend I started to have some problems “down there”, so I went to get it checked out, and I found out I have an STD. I might have caught it from one of the two men I have been seeing, and I’ now worried that I might have not only spread it to my husband, but one of those guys that didn’t have it.

    My Response:

    Dear Cheater;

    You are a grown women, not only are you married and cheating on your husband but you are using unprotected sex. Didn’t you ever take sex education? Well here is the 101 – NEVER HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX; as this can result in STD’s or Pregnancy. It is obvious you got this from one of the two men, so you should definitely confront them about it because they can be spreading it to other women as well. As for your husband, it is not going to be easy but it is better to come clean and tell him the truth, because eventually he is going to find out if he has the STD also. I don’t agree with cheating but if you were going to do it, you should have at least used a condom. I don’t want to say it but I will… Karma…

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • I fantasize about my sister in law…

    The Question:

    I fantasize about my sister in law, is that a bad thing? Do women like it when men fantasize about them sexually? Is it a sin?

    My Response:

    Dear Fantasy;

    Let’s start off with the fact that you fantasize about your sister in law – One Gross! That’s your sister in law and it’s just wrong on all levels, how would you feel if your wife was fantasizing about your brother or cousin or someone related to you? NOT GOOD, I am sure…. Second question “do women like it when men fantasize about them sexually?” SURE – If I’m dating you and if I’m not I would be a little flattered, but if you were my brother in law I would be disgusted and weirded out. Third question “Is it a sin?” – Depends how religious you are, some would say it definitely is a sin and others would say No. I would definitely keep these thoughts to yourself and don’t let your wife know, if not you are looking only for trouble.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • My husband allows me to date other guys…

    The Question:

    My husband allows me to date other guys…?

    My Response:

    Dear Dating While Married;

    No man I know would allow their wife or girlfriend to date other guys, Something is definitely wrong with this picture. Either he is seeing someone behind your back and feels that if you date other men it’s okay for him, he’s gay and in the closet and can’t come out to tell you, or something deeper is hiding deep inside. Do you ask yourself why your husband would want you to date other men? Do you want to date other men? I don’t understand the point of being married if you are going to date other men, you might as well be single and live the single life. I am also not sure if there is a question here? Are you asking if it’s okay that your husband allows you to date other men, because of that is the question that the answer is flat out NO!

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • My husband of 16 yrs had an affair…

    The Question:

    I found out my husband of 16 years has been having an affair and I can’t deal with it please help?

    I found out 4 months ago that he had been sleeping with the secretary at work. Her husband found out and phoned me and told me all about it. My husband told me it had been going on for about 5 months. He said that he did it because it was offered to him on a platter and that our relationship was fine, and that he loves me and does not want to lose me. What hurt the most is he brought her to our house while the kids and I were away and had sex with her in our lounge-room. I have know idea how to get through this, I feel like nothing and I am depressed all the time. I think the best thing is for him to leave but I just don’t know. I know everyone has different ways of dealing with a cheater but I would just like some advice from people who have been in my shoes. Thanks so much…

    My Response:

    Dear Destroyed;

    It’s hard to find out someone we trusted and loved cheated on us. His excuse is plain out BS! Don’t give me that I love you and nothing is wrong yet I’ve been sleeping with my secretary for 5 months because it was handed to me???? SO WHAT???? SO if a guy handed you something in return would you take it? Marriage is a sacred sacrament and it is not something you just ignore. Don’t let him sweat talk you into thinking that what he did was okay. You deserve more than that, you gave him 16 years and now he’s done the ultimate betrayal. It is not going to be easy but I think the first step is making him leave the house. You need to get your thoughts together and you need know that what he did had nothing to do with anything you did, and only selfishness on his part. The fact that he brought this women into your house, where you have your family shows no sign of respect for you or your children. This is unacceptable….and disgusting … You have to be strong for your kids, and you have to know that even though it doesn’t seem like it right now there is always someone out there for someone (even if you don’t see that now), and even though right now you feel like your heart has been ripped out, and you will never feel happy, TRUST ME, You will. Life moves on and we move on and we learn to live and move on from the hurt that others cause us. It is not going to be easy, it’s going to be a hard journey, but you need to be strong and know that you deserve someone a lot better than someone who would lie to you and cheat on you and then use an excuse like the one he did.
    Good luck. Remember you need to love yourself and you need to heal with time before moving on. It will take time, but time does heal all wounds.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Renew our vows or tell him I don’t love him?

    The Question:

    My husband and I are supposed to renew our wedding vows in a few days but I am not in love with him anymore.? I am actually thinking of filing for a divorce. My husband is really making a big deal of the vow renewal thing, and has already paid for plane tickets for guests to come. We are supposed to have a big party afterwords, sort of an anniversary party with family and friends. He has invested a lot of money in it. Should I just wait until after everything is over before telling him I want a divorce, since he’s spent so much money already?

    My Response:

    Dear Renewing your Vows;

    You should have been honest with him before he spent all that money planning to renew your vows, now with that said, it’s too late, but it is better to tell him before hand than to wait afterwords, there may be a chance for him to get some of the money back on a lot of things. Your husband is probably going to be heart broken seeing as he is the one planning this, but do you really want to stand in front of family and friends and renew your vows to a man you no longer love? How can you live that lie? Step up and tell him how you really feel, he may not appreciate it now, but trust me, it’s better to tell him now than after the renewal of your vows. That is so much worse, he will feel like you really lied to him then, standing in front of everyone and looking him in the eyes only to be saying words that you really don’t mean. Step into his shoes for a minute, and how would you feel? Tell him the truth now, and hope that he can get some money/refunds back.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • My husband cheated on me

    The Question:

    My husband cheated on me 1 1/2 years ago and then I found out…
    He broke of all ties with his mistress. A couple of days ago we drove past her. The road was busy so we were driving slowly. He did not think that I noticed but when we went past her he stared at her, and for at least 5 seconds. When we went round the bend he looked back again. What does this mean? Or is it nothing to worry about? Was it just curiosity? I mean he said he made a huge mistake and dislikes her very much. Why look then? I think she saw him. What would happen after such a long time if she decides to text him or something? Men aren’t interested in old mistresses long after, right?
    Additional Details
    Not sure if this matters, but we are both 43 and she is 31 and very pretty.

    My Response:

    Dear Denial;

    Don’t be naive, you are a grown women, and your husband cheated on you. This wasn’t some teenage “I messed up and cheated moment”, you are married and he betrayed your trust and your love. Sticking in a marriage after such a betrayal is 100% your decision, but don’t be naive and think that he is absolutely over this women or that he hates her somehow, or that men do not go back to their mistresses and cheat again. There can be many reasons why he ended things with her, one he was caught (you found out), and he realized that he doesn’t want to loose you so he ended things with her, two she ended things with him and you found out about the affair and he wants you to believe that he’s the one who ended it because that would make it so much more powerful and more trusting to believe than if she ended it or it just ended and seeing her that day brought back memories. It doesn’t necessarily mean him looking at her will make him run back to her, or her to him, or that there are any feelings still there, but it could mean that he did feel something and he was thinking about her. Either way, it’s not good, your husband cheated on you and the trust is no longer there. You have to either let it go and keep moving forward (if you aren’t planning on leaving him), or get out (have respect for yourself) and don’t allow him to cheat on you again.

    I think the older we get we tend to hang on, because it’s so much easier than starting over at your age, but no age is ever to late to start over with. Respect yourself, love yourself and talk to your husband about how you feel. If you want things to work then the two of you need marriage counseling, you need to talk out your feelings and try to work on it, if you can never trust him, it will never work and you will live a life full of lies. What do you want?

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • My husband doesn’t want to have sex anymore…

    The Question:

    We have been married for 4 years and I am 25 years old and he is 28. I am sure my husband is still in love with me and tries to spend time with me as much as he can, and he is not cheating on me. But there is no sex drive between us anymore, the reason he gave for not showing interest in sex is that he’s got other ambitions to think about and he is not really into the sex any more.

    He was very passionate a year ago, and we had this financial instability for a while and since then it is changed. He cuddles with me and does everything just like in our newly wed days, but its been 3 months since we had sex… can anyone give advise other than going to therapist?

    My Response:

    Dear No Sex;

    If you don’t want to seek counseling I would recommend you first try to COMMUNICATE this to him. Sit down with your husband and tell him that you need to talk about the situation that you are in. Having other ambitions does not drive a man to not want to have sex, something else must be going on here. He is only 28, and I know many men at that age that are still driven as if they were 16 year old boys. 3 MONTHS is a long time, speak up and tell him what you want and what you need. Cuddling is cute and all but at the end of the day intimacy is so much more, and without it in your relationship things can go from good to bad. If you don’t think he is cheating on you, then find out what else it could be. You said that he mentioned he just wasn’t into the sex anymore? What is that about? How can a man not be into sex anymore, he’s only 28 for goodness sakes (Speak up because this is just not a good enough excuse). Most relationships where the man is not having sex can lead to a few different things (not necessarily cheating but it could be an option), he’s stressed over work, (and or you mentioned you had financial problems before) and maybe he’s still stressed over this and it is not totally fixed, this can make him a little too pre-occupied to think of anything else, or he is having some type of difficulty in the bedroom area and he doesn’t want you to know…either way which ever reason it is, it would need to be taken care of. So sit down and talk to your husband, don’t take the “I have too many things on my plate” excuse, we all do, but being together and working together in life is part of marriage.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com