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Tag: married

  • Advice Column: Sexual Relationship with…

    Advice Column: Sexual Relationship with… – Image found on Google.com/Images

    Advice Column: Sexual Relationship with….

    My husband left me because he said he needed space and time for himself and wants to be free. I pretended to let him go because when we were together I suffocated him by being clingy and needy. We decided to remain ‘Friends with Benefits’ and act like before except we don’t live together anymore. [sic].

    I have two conflicting emotions on this:

    1. I don’t want to lose him completely and I’m happy he is still attracted to me and 2. It kills me that he doesn’t stay over. He said; “at least not yet because we have to get used to our ‘NEW’ set-up,” but it kills me more that I don’t have a husband anymore. He is having fun being free and all, while I cannot stop thinking about what it could’ve been for us. What should I do?

    My Response:

    Dear Friends with Benefits;

    Your husband left because he needed space, yet he still comes back just to have sex. He is having his cake and eating it too (like that the saying goes). You need to stop and communicate with your husband, either he is fully committed to this marriage or he is not, but he can’t keep coming around just to sleep with you and going back to his own place whenever he wants to. Do you know what he is doing when he’s not with you? Have you spoken about your relationship at all since the split? Is he dating other women? These are all questions you should be asking. Don’t let him just use you for sex, even if you enjoy it. If what you want is your husband back and you have realized you were clingy before and he doesn’t like that then you both need to work on your issues but it doesn’t mean that he needs to move out in order to fix things. In a marriage there is no break, there is no get my own place and there is no “Friends with Benefits”. You are MARRIED, you are his WIFE, not his Friend! Talk to your husband and tell him how you feel. Get your marriage back on track and stop acting as if you were just dating.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com (2011)

  • I don’t like it when my GF sleeps with her husband…

    The Question:

    How can I gently tell my Girlfriend that I don’t like it when she sleeps with her husband? She did it twice last week and I’m beginning to feel like she’s just using me. HELP
    ~Feeling Used

    My Response:

    Dear Feeling Used;

    Let’s start off with what is wrong with this question….. “I don’t like it when she sleeps with her HUSBAND”….. HUSBAND….. Husband and did I mention HUSBAND? She is married, of course she is going to sleep with her husband, she is having an affair with you and she hasn’t left her husband yet, that should be a clear sign to get out. Well the first sign was the fact that she was MARRIED. The second sign is that she hasn’t left him for you and she is still sleeping with him. Find a woman that isn’t married, a woman that you can be with without hiding it from people, and a woman that will want to be with you and only you. Good luck

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • I have an outrageous fetish…

    The Question:

    I have a fetish that I am wondering if anybody else has heard of. I absolutely love a woman when she is dressed up in a dress or costume that has giant puffy sleeves. I’ve had this my whole life and don’t know where it came from. I fantasize that a woman or even better two women dressed up kidnap me and forcibly dress me up in the same kind of outfit. I’m bound and gagged while they forcibly rape me. Is there any women out there that would do this for there husbands. I don’t even need the fantasy part all the time I would just like it for my wife to dress up once in a while, prance around just to turn me on. I’ve been married for 20 years and she isn’t in to it at all. Am I really that weird? And I’m not gay I love women! Does anyone know of movies or websites that may have pics of such costumes?

    The Response:

    Dear Fetish;

    A lot of people have fetishes, have you ever talked to your wife about the way you feel? You have been married for 20 years, and your sex life should be open by now. Maybe your wife feels weird dressing up for you, try having a few drinks to loosen up and then trying a few different things, warm her up to dressing up for you. As for going to websites to indulge in your fetish, I don’t think that’s a good idea, your wife might not understand or feel happy about that. Talk to your wife and see how far she is willing to go and start there. Unfortunately these are things you should have told your wife a long time ago, and if you did and you knew she would never live your fantasy out, then you knew up front she wasn’t into it and you had choices you could have made, now at this point in your life you have been married 20 years, so start off with spicing it up a little in the bedroom and trying to see if she’s willing to dress up a few times. Good luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • I had sex with my wife’s father…

    The Question:

    I had sex with my wife’s father. What should I do?

    Okay so my wife and I were visiting her parents for Easter. We all had a lot to drink and by about 2 AM my wife and her mother had passed out on the couch. I talked to my father-in-law for another half an hour before suddenly he reached over and kissed me on the cheek. I returned it except this time I kissed him on the lips, and before I knew it we were downstairs in the guest bedroom having sex.

    It was one of the strangest and yet most amazing experiences of my life. It was without question the best sex I ever had, but obviously it could prove to be problematic. My wife knew I was bisexual before we got married, but I think to her this would be crossing the line. I haven’t heard from her father since and my wife clearly knows absolutely nothing (we’ve since had sex twice).

    I feel somewhat guilty, but I know if the opportunity presented itself again I would do it again. What the hell should I do? Should I tell my wife and ask her if I can carry on with her father in a purely sexual way—-not in a relationship? I love my wife and don’t want to lose her. I’m so confused. Please help. By the way we’ve been married 4 years and have no children.

    My Response:

    Dear Bisexual;

    First – OMG – Is this for real?
    Second – Of course your wife would be upset, not only are you betraying her trust by cheating on her, but with her father no less. This is not only wrong on all levels on your part but on her fathers part as well. If you decide to come clean do not expect her to be okay with you having a sexual relationship with her father and don’t expect her to want to stay with you at the same time. What person in their right minds would think this is okay? I think a person who is bisexual is still trying to find what they really want in the world, and I think that you are still confused. You need to decide what you want to do but under no circumstances should you do this again, not only are you hurting your wife but your mother in law who probably is in denial that her husband is gay. Own up to what you have done, do not let your wife live a lie with you and end up having children only to hurt them in the end. You have only been married for 4 years and although this will be hard on your wife it is a good thing that you do not have children yet, it will be a lot easier to get out of the marriage. If you truly loved your wife you wouldn’t have cheated on her, especially with her own father. Talk to your wife about how you have been feeling and if you decide to tell her the truth, good luck, because this is one case where you are going to need it.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • I fantasize about my sister in law…

    The Question:

    I fantasize about my sister in law, is that a bad thing? Do women like it when men fantasize about them sexually? Is it a sin?

    My Response:

    Dear Fantasy;

    Let’s start off with the fact that you fantasize about your sister in law – One Gross! That’s your sister in law and it’s just wrong on all levels, how would you feel if your wife was fantasizing about your brother or cousin or someone related to you? NOT GOOD, I am sure…. Second question “do women like it when men fantasize about them sexually?” SURE – If I’m dating you and if I’m not I would be a little flattered, but if you were my brother in law I would be disgusted and weirded out. Third question “Is it a sin?” – Depends how religious you are, some would say it definitely is a sin and others would say No. I would definitely keep these thoughts to yourself and don’t let your wife know, if not you are looking only for trouble.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • My husband is away & over protective…

    The Question:

    Dear Kristin Nicole;

    I have been married for 2 months and my husband and I have known each
    other for 6 years now. We have a great marriage, we love each other,
    we are supportive of each other and I am happy with my man. However,
    recently (one month ago) he left to Europe in order to pursue higher
    studies for 6 months.

    Ever since my husband moved to Europe he is being insanely over
    protective about me. He keeps telling me not to go out by myself and
    to take my father/ brother along with me if I have to go out any
    where. He keeps calling me very often in the day- I don’t know if he
    is checking on me or he is actually concerned. If he ever calls me and
    phone is engaged, he keeps asking me who was I talking to on the
    phone. I love my husband and I have never thought about anything but
    loving him and staying committed to this relationship.

    I love my husband and I want to be with him. However, his over
    protectiveness is getting to me, I don’t know if I am over reacting or
    if my husband is being over protective. I tried to talk to him about
    this but all he told me was that, he is concerned about me and I need
    to understand that he is protective about me because he loves me.

    I just want to know if this behavior from my husband is normal. If he
    is being reasonable, how do I train myself to adapt to this behavior
    from him..

    My Response:

    Dear Protected;

    Your husband is away in another country, it just isn’t around the corner, and don’t worry it is normal for him to be a little worried about you and protective, you have only been married for 2 months and then he had to go away for school. Remember he can’t be with you so he may be feeling a little insecure and feel that if you go out alone you may find someone. You and I both know this is not the case because you love him, and he is not going to be gone forever. Six months is a long time but it is doable. Try talking to your husband again and explain to him that you feel a little overwhelmed by his over protection. Explain to him that you love him and nothing is going to happen, that you understand he only cares and loves you but you are also a grown women and you will be fine. Explain to him how you feel and communicate to him how it bothers you that he is constantly telling you what to do and how he questions you about who you may have been talking to prior to his phone call. Just remind him how much you love him and that you will soon be together.

    Have you guys tried video chatting? Maybe this will help a little, at least he can see you and feel a little a closer to you. Again six months is a long time but it is not that long, soon enough he will be back home and you can get back to your normal routine.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • My husband allows me to date other guys…

    The Question:

    My husband allows me to date other guys…?

    My Response:

    Dear Dating While Married;

    No man I know would allow their wife or girlfriend to date other guys, Something is definitely wrong with this picture. Either he is seeing someone behind your back and feels that if you date other men it’s okay for him, he’s gay and in the closet and can’t come out to tell you, or something deeper is hiding deep inside. Do you ask yourself why your husband would want you to date other men? Do you want to date other men? I don’t understand the point of being married if you are going to date other men, you might as well be single and live the single life. I am also not sure if there is a question here? Are you asking if it’s okay that your husband allows you to date other men, because of that is the question that the answer is flat out NO!

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • I want to have an affair…

    The Question:

    I want to have an affair, but how do I find someone in a small town ?

    My Response:

    Dear Tempted;

    First lets start off with why have an affair? If you want to cheat on your spouse then there are certainly issues there that need to be resolved. Talk to your other half and try to fix things, if you feel there is nothing wrong but you just want to cheat then there is something wrong with the way you feel and think, and perhaps you need to move on from the relationship you are in. Second, a small town – you are only looking to get caught. Don’t cheat, it’s not worth it, and the person you are with I’m sure doesn’t deserve it.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Is there hope after love?


    The Question:

    “I don’t love you any more” I will never forget the day my wife told me those words…we have only been married for less than a year and been together for two years before that but it still felt like my my whole life was falling apart…people tell me I’m lucky we had no kids or that it happened now instead of 20 years down the road but that doesn’t seem to take away from the fact that I love her more than any thing…to be told your not loved by the person you built your world around will knock you down and I’m finding it very hard to get back up. I’ve moved away and I’m starting a new job but my hart seems to be stuck in the past, I still love her even thought I know there is no real hope of us ever being together again. I’ve started drinking which I never do but it seems to be the only thing that takes away some of the pain if only for a few hours; anyway this is not really a question its just me asking for others story of hope and recovery from losing love. Please tell me how you got over your loss of love and that’s its going to get better…right????

    My Response:

    Dear Lost Love;

    Being told by the person you think you’re going to spend the rest of your life with that they don’t love you anymore is heartbreaking, world shattering news. It’s like a train runs you over and you can’t move. A brick wall is standing in front of you and you don’t know where to go. Truth is, even though it hurts right now, and even though you feel like you will always love her and only her, time passes and does heal all wounds. It is true what people say, it’s better now that you didn’t have kids together, it’s better now than 20 years down the road after you lived half your life together, it’s just better now. This is true, but it doesn’t mean it’s going to make you feel better about the situation. You have to think though, did you want to stay in a marriage full of lies, filled with someone you loved so much but doesn’t love you back in return? Don’t you think you deserve to be loved the way you love them? There is no big secret about how to move on, there is no “do this”; “do that”, and you will get over it. Everyone is different and we all move on in different ways. As for your drinking, if it’s to try to make the pain go away, then that’s a problem, drinking doesn’t solve sadness, it only increases it. If you are noticing that you are drinking more, than you should be able to control it. It’s not easy moving forward when you thought you already had your life planned out with someone, but this is a new beginning, you have a new job a new place a new life…Think positive, I know it’s hard, but I promise, things do get better.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com