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  • Have you ever felt this way after a proposal?

    The Question:

    Hello, so I just wanted to know why I might feel this way after a proposal, so yesterday my boyfriend of 9 years (I met him when I was 14) proposed and I said yes but now I feel so nervous I’m just scared of planning or doing anything wrong so I just wanted any advice in how I could over this feelings? And did you ever feel this way? Thank you….

    My Response:

    Dear Engaged;

    You are still young and you met your boyfriend at a very young age, nerves are natural. There isn’t much anyone can say or do to make you feel better, you just have to take it easy and relax. Don’t worry so much about the wedding and take your time, there is no rush to get married tomorrow. If your nerves are beyond just feeling a little scared about marriage than just make sure that you really want to marry your boyfriend and you didn’t just say yes because you haven’t been with anyone else. Marriage is an important part of life, and it shouldn’t be taken lightly. Make sure this is what you want, if it is, then the nerves are natural, again just relax, have your family and friends help you plan the wedding and have fun with it.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • How do I deal with my pregnant sister in law?

    The Question:

    She was lazy sarcastic and rude before she was pregnant, now its just gotten way out of hand. She doesn’t help out, the last time the family went dirt bike riding she didn’t lift a finger and then gloated about it by stating ” I didn’t do anything all day” everyone just kind of rolled their eyes. She’s sarcastic, the last time we all went out to dinner no one was talking to me so I started playing a game on my phone and she turned to her husband (my brother) and said I hate it when people are on their phone at the table, and yes it was clearly said so I could hear it, and now shes rude, me and my mom were discussing the baby shower and she started to give us rules and regulations certain games she doesn’t want played what colors we could use, and the last time my mom was talking to her I wasn’t there and she started acting like its an inconvenience saying, do I have to have a shower? My feeling is, if me and my mom are throwing her a baby shower paying for it and all, shouldn’t she just shut up and be Happy? Whats your thoughts?

    My Response:

    Dear Sister In Law;

    Unfortunately it is her shower, whether you guys are throwing it or not, it is a gesture and she does have a say in colors and what she wants to play and doesn’t want to play, however, with that said her being lazy and rude and sarcastic is something totally different and has nothing to do with the shower. I would either talk to your brother first about it, and see what he says. If everyone knows she is being lazy and no one has said anything, then I would just ignore her all together. Family outings try to hang out with other family and away from her negativity. If you can’t help but tell her how you feel, then confront her, remember though she is pregnant so she is probably a little more sensitive than usual, but if she is normally rude and sarcastic and lazy than you know this is who she is and she is married to your brother so there isn’t much you can do about it. I say ignore her, and do what you want, don’t worry about what she says or what she does, you only have to see her when you go on family outings.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Feeling Alone in the World.

    Feeling Alone in the World.

    Ever feel like you just really didn’t belong;
    Like something is different inside you than most?
    Ever feel lost and completely alone?

    You aren’t the only one, you are not the only one who has felt like this and I guarantee that more than 90% of people (statistics made by my opinion – not true statistics), feel this way at least once in their life time, and if you are that other 10% that has never felt this way (I take my hat off to you) and I would love to know your secret to always feeling secure and as if you truly belong, I would love to share your story with those of us who aren’t so lucky to feel that way. (It can be a true inspiration to know how strong some people are and how secure they are with themselves and the world around them).

    Those of us who know what it feels like to feel different, to feel like you just don’t belong knows about the tears and the confusion you feel inside. Do I belong here or there or anywhere? Sometimes in life we just settle, we decide to give in to give up on trying to fit in and feel accepted, and although we have love from family and friends there is always that little piece of hope that maybe one day that feeling of emptiness will just disappear.

    In life comes the ups and the downs and sometimes we just sit back and look at what has happened through out our lives, we look at it as if it was an open book, reading page by page and wondering what will happen when I get to the end of this book? I try not to regret things in life, because you can never turn back time, you can never change the things that have happened and you can never change what was supposed to happen so why regret it, but sometimes I cannot help but wonder if I hadn’t made those mistakes, if I would have just kept moving forward, if my mind thought differently when I was 19 like I do now, or even if those decisions you know you made would have changed your course in life, would it be a better route, or would I have ended up in the same place I see myself now? Decisions that you want to make sometimes are changed by families influence and thoughts of what you would do if they weren’t near, or what they would think or say if you decided to do what you truly wanted to do. Sometimes in life we have other things holding us back, school, jobs, partners, family or friends and at the end of the day we choose what we think will make most people happy, we choose not for ourselves but for others. At the end of the day we need to start choosing for ourselves, we need to see if those who love us will encourage us, if those who love us will comfort us and support us because at the end of the day as time keep moving forward, I have realized more than ever how short life really is, how living in the NOW is so important than living in what can be, or maybe one day, or perhaps in the future…because doing what we really want to do now is our chance to see if what we really want is right in front of us.

    No one is stopping us from feeling accepted, no one is stopping us from being happy and finding love and moving on to bigger and better things, we use our family and friends as excuses but the only one person stopping you from doing what you truly want to do is YOU. Make a change in your life today to choose something that will make you happy. Start with something small, like your family doesn’t like for you to eat chocolate, take a small piece of chocolate and savor it. Start small and move up from there, but remember life is too short to keep waiting, if you love someone tell them, don’t keep waiting and putting off something just because you feel you aren’t completely ready, go for the goal, the light at the end of the tunnel, do what you want for you and live life to the fullest, because at the end of the day we all die, at the end of the day tomorrow is never promised….Live, Love, Laugh…

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • My Mom is cheating on my Dad.

    The Question:

    I am in my 20’s and my parents have been married for over 30 years. We recently found out that my Mom has been seeing her high school sweetheart. We were all in shock and are trying to work through this. I invite my Dad over my house twice a week and make sure I talk to him everyday b/c he is very depressed. My Mom keeps seeing this guy and will not stop. The guy is a loser and even her parents said this guy is trouble. She is not the same person I knew my whole life. I have not talked to her since Christmas because she makes me so mad. But I need help in helping my Dad. I want to make sure that he lives a happy life and make sure that he knows everything will be ok no matter what. Does anyone have any advice on what to do in this situation? I know he just wants his wife back. Please help. Thanks!

    My Response:

    Dear Stuck in the Middle;

    I know it must be hard and you are stuck in a hard situation, the truth is all you can do is keep inviting your dad over, calling him everyday and being there for him. Give him encouraging words and although it’s your mom, he deserves to know that he deserves better than what she is doing to him. I would say to stay out of it, your father is a grown man and he needs to confront your mom and talk to her about what is going on, leave her if that is what he must do. It is never easy especially after being with someone for so many years, but he deserves more from her. If you absolutely feel you have to get involved than sit down with your mom, find out what is going on in her mind that she would do such a thing, maybe this is a mid-life crisis thing or maybe she just wasn’t happy in the marriage (it might be hard to hear but be prepared to find out that perhaps your parents weren’t always happy together). Our parents always try to make it look like everything is okay (for our sake) but things can be going wrong deep down under the surface we never knew about. Talk to your dad too and tell him that you are there for him, tell him that he needs to stand up for himself and he needs to either get his wife back or move on because he deserves only the best.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • My boyfriend isn’t ‘the one’, should I leave him?

    The Question:

    I’m a 32 year old woman and I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years and we were friends for years before that. He is a great guy, we get on well and we are really well matched in many ways. My concern is that I don’t think I love him and I feel in my gut that we are not meant to be together in the long-term. I feel strongly that I don’t want to commit to him. However, I’m also scared to leave him because I know he’d make a great father and partner/husband (although I don’t see myself marrying him). I guess I feel he may be my only chance (at my age?). Question is: am I just afraid to grow up and settle down or would I just be settling for the wrong guy if I stayed? I’m scared of making a massive mistake either way.

    My Response:

    Dear Not In Love;

    I think you already know the answer “He is a great guy, we get on well and we are really well matched in many ways. My concern is that I don’t think I love him…” You have already spent the last 5 years with someone you already know you don’t want a future with and it isn’t fair to lead him on into thinking that his future might be with you. Be honest with yourself and with your boyfriend, it might hurt and it’s hard to move on and find someone else but at the end of the day you both will be happy that what you did was the right move to make. Marriage is a very big commitment and it isn’t something you should ever get into just because “he or she might be a great parent”. You are still young and there are plenty of other men out there, don’t keep putting it off and spending more time on a relationship that you aren’t truly happy in. Don’t ever settle to just settle, settle down because that’s the person you truly know you want to spend the rest of your life with. Sit down with your boyfriend and tell him how you feel, move on and find someone you are truly in love with and can have a future with.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Wife has gained weight, how do I tell her?

    The Question:

    How do you let your wife know that she gained a few pounds, without her getting upset? I bought a box of Special K cereal and low fat milk.
    I even bought a new digital bathroom scale, I haven’t shown that to her yet…. What would be the best way to tell her that she is getting chubby?

    My Response:

    Dear Special K;

    I think going around it and just starting to eat healthy with her is a good way to do it. Telling her she got a “little chubby” will probably hurt her feelings and start an argument. Why don’t you tell her that you feel that the two of you should start eating healthier and working out together, perhaps if you motivate her and get on a diet with her then she will start loosing a few pounds. Make it sound like you are the one who wants to loose the weight but you want her to participate with you. Never and I say NEVER, tell a women she’s “getting chubby”. Unless the women admits you should still just encourage her and remind her that she is still beautiful and that you love her the way she is. Unfortunately women are very sensitive on the subject, so just go about it the way you have been doing, and start eating healthy together and working out together, this way you too get in shape with your wife.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Should I tell him that I suspect he is still cheating?

    The Question:

    I am 58 and my husband 45 we have been married 23 years have a daughter who is 21, last year of University. I found out 5 years ago that he was cheating with someone at work. At the time we were not getting on, don’t know if it was because of her existence, but he was always angry with me and very critical of everything I did. We stayed together, me because at my age I didn’t want to go looking for anyone new and was scared to be on my own. Besides, I had to think of my daughter who was studying and needed both our support. Him? I am not quite sure whether it was because of the money, as he would have had to lose half or maybe more of everything or whether because he felt bad abandoning us. He kept saying that it wasn’t because of the other woman but he wanted to be free. For the past 2 years I couldn’t have wished for a better husband. His attitude to me has changed. We hardly argue and spend lots of time together. Although I don’t tell him I love him, he tries to tell me in a jokey way, but I must confess I don’t completely trust him and am wary of his motives. Last night I asked to borrow his pen and was surprised that it was the kind of pen a woman would choose, it had Treasure written on it. I asked him where he got it from and he said he had bought it for himself. I know that this isn’t the kind of thing he would buy and he is so mean with money, he would never buy his own pen when there are lots of pens around the house he could take. I don’t know if I should spoil our present harmony by telling him that I suspect some woman has bought it for him. I know I am being childish, but can a person really change so much and what would make him change so?

    My Response:

    Dear Stayed;

    I know it must be hard to move on from a marriage after such a long time and especially when we get older we feel like it’s harder to move on and find someone else so we settle to be in a relationship were there is no longer love, where we truly aren’t happy and for what? For comfort for security and for the children, but at the end of the day, the children move on and gain their own lives and then you are stuck in a relationship that isn’t even there anymore. Don’t be afraid to talk to your husband, you probably did not really talk about it the first time around, and if you suspect him of cheating on you again, you deserve to know the truth. Whether you stay with him or not is going to be your decision. However, since you stayed with him to begin with after finding out he cheated on you, and you know you will continue to stay with him again if he’s cheating on you again, then what is the point in finding out if he is or isn’t with another women? Communication is key in any relationship and I am getting the feeling that the two of you haven’t communicated in a long time. Be open with your husband if you want things to work, if you still truly love him then find a way to make it work. I haven’t been in your situation but I am the type of person that no matter how hard it may be, I think I would have left, because self respect is more important to me than comfort and security. Being Afraid to move forward is a fear that takes over us, a fear that ends up controlling our lives, but at the end of the day you are the only one that can control that fear and stand up for yourself and say “Enough is Enough”. If you don’t really want to know the answer (behind the pen) then try to move on and forget about it, if you feel you can’t and you really need to know then sit down with your husband and be honest with how you feel.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • I’m 21 but my GF is only 17…

    The Question:

    Dear Kristin Nicole;

    I am 21 years old but I am dating a 17 year old girl who is still in High School, is this wrong of me? Can anything happen if we decide to have sex? Advice please….

    ~Too Old

    My Response:

    Dear Too Old;

    First I have to ask why you would want to be with a 17 year old in the first place? You are young, you can drink now and go out clubbing and your girlfriend won’t be able to do any of these things with you, is this a relationship you really want to try out? Second, it’s not wrong if you truly like her and think that this relationship can go somewhere, but if you are looking just to sleep with her then I would be careful, you can be charged for Statutory Rape because she is under age. If you are questioning whether it is okay to be in a relationship with her or not then be honest with your girlfriend, don’t hide your relationship from friends or family and make sure they get to know you. If this is just a fling thing, then I would say move on and find someone your own age.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • Need help with being insecure?

    The Question:

    I was with my ex for 4 years and he finished it with me for no reason and he moved on very quickly which made me move on quickly too. I am now with a bloke which I have been with for about a year and a half. Lately I feel so insecure around him. He lives with a house mate and he has a girlfriend. I keep thinking my boyfriend likes her. My boyfriend is 27 she is 18, but he always seems to be interested in her. He never used to be like that with her, and he always seems to be looking at her. I don’t know if there’s anything in it but its making me moody with him. He doesn’t know I’m insecure and I don’t really want to say anything to him. HELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP now every little thing he says to her I seem to be analyzing! He did say the other day she has an attitude, and he would never speak to her if she wasn’t with his mate, but the other night she went to bed and he said “ah your going bed are you” she was like yeah I’m tired and I got college tomorrow. He was like “oh ok” & I was thinking SO WHAT IF SHE GOES TO BED grrrrrrrrrrr …. Do u think I’m looking into it too much??

    My Response:

    Dear Too Much;

    Let me get this straight, the 18 year old girl is your boyfriends roommate? Yes you are definitely looking too much into it. First it’s your boyfriends, friends girlfriend, it is not like they are alone most of the time together and second asking her if she is going to bed, is just plain old conversation. I know it’s hard sometimes to not feel insecure after a breakup, especially since you were with your ex for such a long time, but remember this boyfriend is not your ex so try to remember that whenever you feel a little jealous. You have to trust your boyfriend, without trust the relationship won’t grow. If you start seeing something you really don’t like, (like them flirting or playing around) then confront your boyfriend and tell him you feel uncomfortable when he does that with her, but if they just have regular conversations together, yo have to remember this is your boyfriends roommates girl and they are going to have to talk to each other since I am sure he see’s her often there. Try to relax and know that he’s with your because he loves you. I am sure you are a beautiful girl and your ex doesn’t know what he lost, you have moved on so don’t bring that baggage with you into this relationship, remember this is a different relationship and if you do feel a little insecure talk to your boyfriend, but don’t over analyze everything he does, he’s probably just being friendly to her because it’s his friends girlfriend.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • My spouse no longer wants Sex…

    The Question:

    What would you do if after having children, your spouse no longer wanted a physical relationship?

    My Response:

    Dear Not Getting Any;

    Communicate, Communicate & Communicate. Talk to your spouse ask them what is going on and why they have been distant. A physical relationship is very important in marriage or even if you are just dating. I am not sure if this question is coming from a man or women, so I’ll answer two different possibilities. If the husband is writing this, I can say that perhaps your wife is suffering from some sort of depression, sometimes after having children women can fall into postpartum depression (this can result in lack of sexual feelings), talk to your wife and a doctor to see what you can do. If this isn’t the case it can be that there is something else going on and unless you don’t talk to her you aren’t going to get the answer. If this is the wife then I can say that perhaps your husband is feeling overwhelmed, either with the children (not sure how old they are) or perhaps at work and it is taking his mind off the physical aspect of the relationship, not to say this is a good enough reason, but everyone reacts to things in life differently. Sit down with your significant other and find out what is bothering them. Without a physical relationship in a relationship, it can cause a lot of tension and that is not good for any relationship.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com