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  • 5 days before my Birthday

    5 days Before my Birthday:

    5 Days & 120 hours later it will be my birthday. The big “?” — you didn’t actually think I would tell you my age did you? Okay so it’s not that I am ashamed of how old I am going to be but I haven’t quiet accomplished all the things I had hoped to accomplish before this birthday, and a true lady never reveals her age to the world…. Okay so maybe the world isn’t reading my blog but I hope someone is out there. (Yeah I’m talking to you reading this right now), leave a comment every once in a while, so I know you’re out there…..

    Okay back to the subject on hand… My birthday — Another year older, another year gone. Why do I feel like this year has gone faster than most, and why do I feel like I haven’t truly accomplished anything this year? Well I did finish my Associates Degree (I guess you would call that a pretty big accomplishment, considering I am the only one in my family to actually achieve this), somehow though, I thought I would feel more about it, but truth is, it was just a paper mailed to me saying I passed, and now I continue the struggle to finish my Bachelors Degree. Life doesn’t stop, not for you, not for me and so I keep pushing forward hoping for more accomplishments and more fulfillment.

    This year I won’t be here for my birthday, it’s the first time I have ever gone away for my birthday (except of course when I lived in California but I was still at home and not on vacation). This year I think I’ll start a new tradition (Vacation for my birthday). My boyfriend gave me the idea really, every year for his birthday he takes a trip, even if it isn’t far (Orlando) it’s still not home. My birthday as you can imagine is difficult to celebrate, difficult to take trips and anything else I always want to do because it is so close to Christmas. (Is it my fault however that I was born 5 days before Christmas?) NO — So this year my birthday lands on a Monday, and I figured if we left before my birthday and came back on the 24th to celebrate Christmas Eve (Noche Buena) with our families then all would be right in the world. So we are doing just that, this year my present from my boyfriend is San Francisco. That’s right… I said it… SAN FRAN, FRISCO, Bay area here I come!

    This year I want to make memories, this year I want to make a change and I want to have the best birthday a girls always dreamed of, not a birthday filled with disappointment because people are busy during the holidays and can’t show up, not getting presents because it’s too expensive to give you a birthday and Christmas gift (although I must admit, my family was always good about this and I always got a birthday and Christmas gift separate). This year, this year is DIFFERENT.

    5 more days…..

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • 31 Years old and Finding you have Cancer…

    I was on Facebook following Dolphin Player Sean Smith when I read I saw a link that he placed on his wall of a friend, 31 Year old Maurya.

    This is her story:

    magine finding out at 31 that you have a rare brain tumor

    In May 2010, after Maurya insisted on a CT Scan for another medical condition, to everyone’s surprise including the doctors, the scan showed a mass. Since then, a couple of MRI’s have been done to better understand what type of mass we are talking about. She’s seen a couple of Neurosurgeon’s and the cyst (tumor) is located behind the left eye positioned near the carotid artery, numerous nerves and not to mention pressing on the brain membrane, which causes a great deal of pain and is being managed by medication.

    Currently she is only 1 of a handful of reported cases with this type of cyst in the brain but the only documented case with the positioning/placement of this type of cyst. The surgeons are confident it is not cancerous but are unable to do a biopsy. Due to the location of the cyst, the biopsy procedure is the same as the surgical removal procedure so they are unable to confirm that until they remove the mass.

    There are many risks with any surgery and in Maurya’s case it could be as minimal as facial numbness, double vision or as severe as facial paralysis or disfigurement, lose of eye muscle control, possible blindness and other possible paralyses or loss of motor function.

    The upside right now is that Maurya is young, healthy and active but as you can imagine scared (as her loved ones are also).

    In June 2010, Maurya met with one of the Neurosurgeon’s, who left her honestly frightened by the predicted outcome and the surgery itself (disfigurement, paralysis, blindness etc.) Their approach was to wait and see on her other medical condition but this was why this mass was not detected sooner; Had this cyst been found 3 years ago when the other medical condition presented itself, who is to say the prognosis would be the same.

    When asking various physicians and other industry related colleagues across the nation, there was only one surgeon’s name continually recommended for this rare case, Dr. Mitchel Berger at UC San Francisco. UC San Francisco’s Neurosurgery department is ranked #3 in the nation. When Maurya met with Dr. Berger in October he took time to review and discuss her case with her. He discussed in detail the removal procedure (which was nowhere near what was described by the Neurosurgeon she saw in June), what areas are or are not affected by the tumor and the prognosis (3% – 7% probability of facial numbness & short term double vision). This, of course, is the best case scenario which Maurya is hopeful for.

    Most people can relate to the emotional trauma for someone so young trying to make sense of the information given during the initial neurosurgery consult and the lack of data/research available for this rare cyst (tumor). After meeting with the various surgeons and taking all of the above into consideration, weighing the options provided, understanding that with any surgery there are risks (even loss of life), Maurya and her family/loved ones feel her only decision should be to go with Dr. Berger at UC San Francisco.

    With this decision comes a huge financial cost. The surgery at UC San Francisco is the best option but will not be covered so Maurya has been in search of a new insurance plan. The struggle is that this is now a pre-existing condition and could be denied but Maurya stays hopeful that she will find a plan to cover the $500K+ surgery, understanding it comes with a high deductible. For now, Maurya is paying for her visits on her own. If the pain can continue to be managed with medication and no additional symptoms arise she is looking at surgery in late February 2011.

    You can read more and where to donate on the link below.

    (Story linked HERE).

    Stories like this happen every day, we just don’t always here about it. It is sad to hear someone with such a rare cancer, someone who can’t afford it due to insurance yet, who can put a price on LIFE? I wrote about Madison a baby girl with a rare cancer tumor, and she has overcome the odds and is beating it, I believe in Miracles, I believe in Fate, and Hope, and with a little encouragement from others, anything can happen.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • As She’s Walking Away – Zac Brown Band

    Music & Lyrics

    I heard this song on the Country Music Awards 2010 – I just recently started getting into Country music and I absolutly love the Zac Brown Band. They have great songs.

    This particular song is called “As She’s Walking Away”. I love the lyrics, I love the part that states “Don’t you let regret take place of the dreams you have to chase, ask her to dance…go on son. You might fall down on your face. Roll the dice and have some faith.”

    Sometimes in life we don’t take that leap, we don’t take that chance because we fear rejection, we fear failure, but life is too short to always stay with the “what if’s”, and “I should have”, so take that leap of chance and live your life….

    Listen to the Zac Brown Band below:


    Here are the lyrics to the song:

    Artist: Zac Brown Band featuring Alan Jackson
    Song: As She’s Walking Away
    Album: You Get What You Give

    We never spoke a word but every thought she had I heard from across the room.
    We were standing face to face I couldn’t find the words to say, give me one more move.
    I don’t even know her name. I guess foolish pride’s to blame

    Chorus
    Now I’m fallin’ in love as she’s walking away
    And my heart won’t tell my mind to tell my mouth what it should say.
    May have lost this battle, live to fight another day, now I’m fallin’ in love as she’s walking away.

    Wise man next to me did say about the one that got away, son I missed my chance.
    Don’t you let regret take place of the dreams you have to chase, ask her to dance…go on son. You might fall down on your face. Roll the dice and have some faith.

    Chorus(2)
    Don’t be fallin’ in love as she’s walking away, when your heart won’t tell your mind to tell your mouth what it should say.
    May have lost this battle, live to fight another day, don’t be fallin’ in love, as she’s walking away.

    You might fall down on your face, roll the dice and have some faith.

    Chorus(2)
    And don’t be fallin’ in love as she’s walking away, when your heart won’t tell your mind to tell your mouth what it should
    say. May have lost this battle, live to fight another day, don’t be fallin’, fallin’ in, fallin’ in love, as she’s walking
    away.

  • Is it appropriate if I write a letter to my ex-girlfriends daughter?

    The Question:

    My ex-girlfriend hates me and will never speak to me again, but I just had a dream where I bumped into her and her 7 year old daughter and the daughter ran up to me crying and hugged me. I woke up sad, and I would like to write the daughter a letter, just telling her how much I miss her. Is this appropriate? Should I write the letter or not? I do not have any ulterior motives like trying to get back with my ex-girlfriend or anything like that. Any advice would help. Thank You.

    My Response:

    Dear Dreamer;

    I know it has to be hard to not see your ex-girlfriends daughter anymore, especially if you came to really care for her. With that said, she’s only 7 years old, and although writing a letter is nice, she may not understand it, also, the mother will see it first and if she’s as angry with you as you say she is, more than likely she will just throw the paper away and not even show it to her daughter. Unfortunately when people get into relationships with people with children and it isn’t their child, we develop feelings as if they were ares, but the problem is, if the relationship does not work out, the child is left without that person in their lives and you are left with an empty feeling of guilt. I do not know what happened between your ex and you, but you are going to just have to move on. Children are very resilient to what is going on around them, don’t make it worse by making the mother more angry. It’s hard, but you have to let them go.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • She says she doesn’t want to be anyones GF?

    The Question:

    She said to me she doesn’t want to be anyone’s girlfriend?
    We have only been seeing each other for a month, she said this morning she likes me but she just doesn’t want to be anybody’s girlfriend. Then she wouldn’t really kiss me, so I left, but she grabbed me at the door to make me stay and said she wants for me to come around tonight. I don’t really get it… I don’t mind it being casual but it seems like there should be some free space for whatever it is to move into. Is she waiting around for someone better? Because I’m not and I don’t want to……

    My Response:

    Dear Stuck;

    You have options… Either tell her how you feel straight forward, either you are dating to be more than friends or you’re just friends, but either way be honest and straight forward with her (tell her to stop sending you mixed signals and to stop playing games) if nothing is going to happen then move on. There are plenty other girls out there that want to be in a relationship, and if you are that type of guy then move on. You can either stick it out and see where she is going with this, or you can be honest with how you feel, figure out what it is she really wants and go from there. Don’t waste time on a girl that doesn’t know what she wants.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Where does this leave me?

    The Question:

    If a partner can actually cheat on me for years, even have a child outside behind my back, even love the mother of his child (who didn’t know i existed) BUT still come home to me & our child and wont leave me, where does this leave me?

    My Response:

    Dear Lost;

    It leaves you in a simple situation, DON’T SETTLE! Move on and move out. This guy obviously has no respect for you or the other women and he thinks that he can “have his cake and eat it too”. You deserve someone to be with only you and love only you, not someone who not only cheats on you but has another family behind your back. Is the type of life you want to lead? Is this the example you want to show your children? Respect yourself, love yourself and always remember Never settle, never look back and never ever think that you aren’t good enough to have better.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Is my husband ashamed of me?

    The Question:

    Is my husband ashamed of me? I love my husband very much and we have been together 3 years now. I have put on 10 lbs since we have been together I feel so fat. I used to weigh 110 lbs now I weigh 120 at 5’9 I feel like a cow and he never takes me out anymore. He also doesn’t answer my phone calls or texts anymore when he’s away. I want to lose the weight so badly to make him happy, I would do anything even starve myself. What can I do to make him love me again?

    My Response:

    Dear 10 pounds;

    If your husband is not giving you the attention you need I don’t think it is just because you gained 10 pounds, and if he is ignoring you and not taking you out because of it, then that is not true love. You need to be happy with yourself, don’t ever starve yourself or “do anything” just because the person you love is not there for you. Loose the weight if you want, but do it for you (to make yourself feel better). I can’t imagine that you are “fat” if you are 5’9 at 120lbs. I think the problem here goes deeper than just a few pounds gained, sit down and talk to your husband and get down to the core of what is really going on with him. If he’s that superficial and it really is that you gained 10 pounds then you need to work on that with each other. Start eating better and go to the gym, but this shouldn’t be a reason for the way he is acting with you. Again COMMUNICATION is KEY! Talk to your husband and tell him how you have been feeling, if he wants to work on your marriage he will, and if he doesn’t, then there might be some hard decisions you may have to make. LOVE YOURSELF first, and no matter what any man says or does, remember you are perfect the way you are, don’t ever put yourself down just because a man is acting like a dumb a@# and don’t ever starve yourself to loose the weight, just eat right and exercise, it’s only 10 pounds.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answres.Yahoo.com

  • Can you stop loving someone?

    The Question:

    Do you believe that we can stop loving some one we used to love?
    She said she was in love with me but now she is not…….. how ??

    My Response:

    Dear Lost Love;

    I do believe that we can love someone and one day not love them anymore. Sometimes we think we are in love or that we love someone but we sometimes grow apart or realize that the person we thought we loved wasn’t the person we really wanted to be with. We can sometimes even not want to be with someone anymore and it doesn’t necessarily mean we don’t love that person, it just means we don’t want that kind of relationship with them. Love is hard and it doesn’t always make sense, she could have been confused or thought she loved you or wanted to try and love you but just realized she really didn’t. It is better that she was honest with you rather than have you there believing that she still loved you. I know it’s not easy, but move on, find yourself someone who will love you.

    Good Luck

    xo
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • I left my husband today…

    The Question:

    I feel weird… its been a long time coming. My husband wants to live in Australia and he does already. I want to stay in England with our son. I also don’t like the way he treats me so I called it quits. Anyway it went surprisingly well. He was fine with it, and said that he would come visit my son when he can. He was so nice to me and he’s never that nice. Its made me feel really guilty. I’m not going to change my mind on t love me to bits. I’m not going to change my mind on this although I love him to bits. I just don’t want to live in Australia and he wont live in England. Why was he so nice and how do I get past this upset weird guilty stage?

    Before anyone judges me it was the best thing to do for my son as my husband was violent at times…

    My Response:

    Dear England;

    I’m going to skip right to the part you said “your husband was violent at times”. If this was the case, then it’s more than just not wanting to move to Australia with your husband. If your husband was abusive then it is better to have gotten out of the marriage now rather than later. If you are choosing not to move just because you don’t want to leave home (England) sometimes we have to make sacrifices to keep our family together. Again if he was violent with you, then there is no reason for you to feel guilty for staying in England. You have to do what is right for you and your son, and it is better to leave an abusive relationship than to stay in one. You say that you still “love him to bits”, if your husband is abusing you it isn’t right, and you shouldn’t love anyone who can hurt you that way. What you are doing is better than being in an abusive relationship. If your husband is being nice, he may just be trying to get you to forgive him and move to Australia with him. Stick with what you believe, and if he is violent, I wouldn’t allow him to have visitation rights with your son alone, make sure you are always there with him.

    Good luck

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • My husbands abusive & I have a 4 mo. old baby…

    The Question:

    Help please Marriage problems……?

    So to start it off I am almost 20 and my hubby is 31 and I have a 4 month old baby and we have been married for 13 months. Our marriage is on the rocks we don’t have good communication we are always arguing everyday, I am not happy in this marriage my husband is CRAZY and when I say crazy I mean it; he is the most abusive person I have met. If I say anything he wont like he will go OFF and throw anything in front of him! He hits me in public, like just today he bashed me in the car while he was holding my baby girl and all I said was that my girl will choose what she wants to be when she grows up and I know it wont be something bad and he’s like no she will be a religious person she will be a religious lecturer and she wont choose I will! I am so fed up I hate his narrow minded thinking…..he tells me he loves me but does all this =/ I am sooooooooo belittled he says I am fat and to loose weight so that we can have sex! We haven’t done it for 10 months but sex is not the issue its his anger and narrow minded thinking I am soooo emotionally wrecked I feel like killing myself but then think of my baby girl and I cant leave this world and leave her with him! He wants this perfect wife who is slim beautiful and bows down to him who listens to everything he says and doesn’t say a word, he’s just kidding himself!!

    He’s changed my personality, my thinking, my mental state, and I have ZERO self esteem and no confidence and my family hates me and him they haven’t seen me in 3 yrs and I haven’t talked to anyone in my family for 2 years. I am going to go mental I don’t know what to do….

    Additional Details
    I am still trying to make this marriage work because I don’t want my baby girl to grow up without her dad. I didn’t have my dad half of my life and it sucked! Please help….

    My Response:

    Dear too young;

    You need to take a breather, and relax for a moment, what you are going through is something no person should have to withstand. Stop and think about not only yourself but the life of your daughter. You don’t want your daughter growing up with out her father, but do you think it’s okay for her to grow up with a father who abuses her mom and most likely will abuse her one day too? I know it wasn’t easy for you growing up without a father, but it’s better than growing up with one that is abusive. You need to have respect for yourself, don’t let him put you down and don’t let him abuse you any longer. Have the courage to pick up the phone and talk to your family, I am sure if you talk to them and let them know what is going on they will help you. If they don’t want to help (which I don’t see why they wouldn’t), then you need to be stronger than you will ever have to be for your baby. Get out of that marriage and save yourself and your child from more hurt and pain. It is never OKAY for a man to put his hands on a women and belittle her in front of others. You are still very young and you have your whole life ahead of you, take action and get out now.

    There are support groups for abused women and if you feel that you aren’t safe leaving, call the police, get the help you need to get out of that abusive relationship and save yourself and your daughters life.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com