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  • How do you keep the romance going when you have children in the house?

    The Question:

    How do you keep the romance going when you have children in the house? I would love to keep the romance going in my marriage, but it is a little more challenging since we’ve had a little girl (almost a year old). He’s away on business quite often as well, which makes it even more challenging… any ideas?

    My Response:

    Dear Romance;

    I know it’s hard because you are probably very tired since you are dealing with a one year old all day. However, just because you have a child in your house doesn’t mean the romance needs to stop. When your husband comes home from a business trip surprise him with dinner, put the baby down to sleep early and light some candles in your room and (well I don’t think I need to elaborate the rest) 😉

    If its a normal day, just make sure the baby is sleeping in her own room (I am not sure if the baby sleeps in your room with you guys, but if she does then that needs to stop.) A baby in the bed is what causes most marriages to have problems, sex is very important and you can’t let that flame die down. Spice it up, maybe get a babysitter and go out for the evening together, get a hotel for a few hours (if you can afford it), if you can’t, maybe act like a couple of teenagers and do some fun stuff in the car. When there is a will there is a way.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • My wife cheated on me years ago, now she’s emailing old Bf’s…

    The Question:

    My wife cheated on me years ago, then I caught her emailing old boyfriends recently…It has been a rough 20 years of marriage. Her family is a bunch of crazy lunatics that have caused so
    much chaos in our lives and also caused it to her brothers family. I know her family bad mouths me to her all the time.My question is: by their constant badgering of her did they cause her to forget her vows and if she has done this so many times and her family is so negative about me then why is she still staying here?

    My Response:

    Dear Blame;

    Stop blaming your wife’s family, your wife’s crazy family has nothing to do with her actions. Your wife chose to cheat on you and she is now choosing to write emails to her ex boyfriends. I can understand that dealing with a crazy family isn’t easy and it doesn’t help the situation if they are bad mouthing you to her all the time, but she has been with you for 20 years for a reason, and if her family hasn’t broken you up by now, it is more than likely that isn’t the reason your marriage might be having problems now. Stop looking at her family and focus on your relationship with your wife. Sit down and talk to her, find out what is going on and why she is emailing her ex boyfriends. Truth be told, after she cheated on you years ago, that should have been a huge sign to get out. Someone who doesn’t respect the person they love isn’t worth staying with. With that said, you stuck it out and you have made it this far, if you really want to save your marriage find out what is going on with your wife, if you feel she may be cheating on you again, then you need to find out the truth and you need to make a choice on what to do here. Good luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Is it a good sign that he did this?

    The Question:

    My boyfriend and I were in an on and off relationship for almost two years, but a couple of months ago, we decided to break it off and haven’t spoken since.

    A couple of days ago, I saw that he had been to my LinkedIn profile – and he is not a connection, since I started the account after the last time we broke up.

    Does this mean that he might be thinking of me? Am I right to think it’s a good sign?

    My Response:

    Dear LinkedIn;

    LinkedIn is used for professional reasons, perhaps he was thinking of getting one and just wanted to see your profile, just because he was looking at it doesn’t necessarily mean he was thinking of you to get back with you or anything. You also said that it was a mutual decision to break up, so why the wondering about your ex boyfriend now?

    I also don’t see how you know he looked at your LinkedIn? Perhaps the question here goes beyond the fact that he might be thinking of you. I say let it go, if he hasn’t tried to contact you directly then move on. You broke up for a reason right?

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Losing the people we love…

    Life’s struggles:

    In life we lose the people we love, sometimes something as simple as a breakup and other times something called forever. We live our lives not realizing that tomorrow is not guaranteed and we take advantage of the people we love. Sometimes we don’t even get the chance to tell them we love them because we had a petty argument. This week I’ve seen a bosses dad pass away, a friends mom and the faith they hold inside, that things really do happen for a reason.

    In the end…

    It’s inevitable to avoid the fact that one day we are going to lose someone we love. Whether it’s our grandparents, our parents, our spouse, and some people lose people they never thought possible, their children. We don’t know why things happen and we don’t know why we have to lose the people we love and go through that pain, but it’s a pain that no one can truly explain, even though at one point in our lives we have all felt it or we are going to feel it one day. Life doesn’t teach us how to deal with losing someone we love, it doesn’t teach us how to cope or how to keep living our lives without them, we just do.

    The day comes…

    The day comes when we have to feel that pain, we have to cry and we have to grieve and we have to keep living without the people we love. This is why it’s so important to not take advantage of the people you love, make sure to tell them you love them and make sure that no matter what happens you are there. For that one split second in time when your life stops, when your heart stops, we grieve for the person we lost, and we hold that sadness inside of us in which we hope will only make us stronger and we continue to live our daily lives without them, because the world doesn’t stop for us, the world doesn’t let us cry on it’s shoulder and it doesn’t let us understand why things happen for a reason. Sometimes we ask why? but there never seems to be an answer, and we keep moving forward. Life stops for no one, so don’t stop living, don’t stop believing and don’t stop telling the people you love that you love them, because at the end of the day, the world keeps moving forward, we keep moving forward.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • Weekend Menu-Stuffed meatballs & more…

    The Weekend Menu:

    This weekend I decided to try a few recipes. I tried a recipe from Rachael Ray Mozzerella stuffed chicken sausage balls with a tomato basil sauce. I decided to switch it up a bit since I couldn’t find chicken sausage in my local grocery store.

    Ingredients:

    – 2 lbs of Italian Sausage (1 sweet & 1 mild) you can get hot if you like it a little more spicy.
    – 1 tub bocconcini, bite size fresh mozzarella in water
    – 1 tub grated Pecorino Romano
    – 1 tub good quality fresh pesto from the refrigerated cases of the market (I got the pesto/basil).
    – Olive Oil
    – 1 large can of whole tomatoes
    – 1 box of whole wheat spaghetti pasta
    – Salt & Pepper to season
    – Non-stick baking sheet
    – Potato smasher

    How to make the meatballs:

    Note: 2 lbs of sausage makes about 12 big meatballs. I bought one sweet and one mild sausage, take the casing off the sausage and mix together.

    Take the mozzarella balls out of the water and pat with a dry paper towel to take off the excess water.

    (While preparing the meatballs – boil some water for the pasta, when it comes to a boil put about a tablespoon of olive oil in the water and about a teaspoon of salt. Let pasta cook about 10 to 15 minutes or until al dente.)

    Pre-heat the oven at 400 degrees. – Take some of the sausage meat and make a whole in the middle to place the mozzarella ball, make into a ball and place on non-stick baking sheet. Continue to do this with the sausage mixture until you are done. Drizzle a little olive oil over the meatballs and place in the oven for about 15-20 minutes. (It depends on your oven so just check it after 15 minutes, if they aren’t completely browned on the outside leave it in the oven for a few more minutes.)

    Making the Sauce:

    The sauce is really simple. While the meatballs are cooking in the oven, place the can of tomatoes in a saucepan, season with salt and paper (about 1 teaspoon – taste to your desire). Take a potato masher and mash the tomatoes (if you like it more chunky then you can just smash it a few times, if you don’t like the chunkiness of the tomatoes you can always place the sauce in a blender.) Let boil and lower heat to low heat. Place 1/2 cup of the pesto in the sauce and let simmer for 5 minutes.

    You can either leave the sauce in the pan and pour it over your pasta or like I prefer it, I mix it in with the pasta. I drained the pasta and placed it in the pot and poured the tomato/basil (pesto) mixture in with the pasta. I placed the meatballs on the side of the plate & sprinkler pasta with Pecorino Romano cheese.

    My boyfriend isn’t a big fan of spaghetti with meatballs, but these aren’t just any ordinary meatballs, they are sausage meatballs stuffed with mozzarella. You can’t go wrong….even my boyfriend loved it.

    Hot and Sour Soup:

    I got this recipe off of Myrecipes.com

    Ingredients

    – 5 dried shiitake mushrooms (about 1/4 ounce)
    – (The recipe asks for: 5 dried wood ear mushrooms (about 1/4 ounce) I couldn’t find wood ear mushrooms in my grocery store so I got Oyster mushrooms (worked just as good)
    – 1 (32-ounce) carton fat-free, less-sodium vegetable broth
    – 2 1/4 cups water, divided
    – 1 tablespoon minced peeled fresh ginger
    – 1 teaspoon minced garlic
    – 1/4 cup rice vinegar
    – 1 tablespoon low-sodium soy sauce
    – 1/2 to 1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
    – 1/2 pound reduced-fat firm or extrafirm tofu, drained and cut into 1/4-inch cubes
    – 2 1/2 tablespoons cornstarch
    – 4 large egg whites, lightly beaten
    – 1/2 cup chopped green onions
    – 1/4 cup minced fresh cilantro
    – 1 teaspoon dark sesame oil (I used light sesame oil)
    – Chili Sauce/Oil optional (I used Sriracha Hot Chili Sauce – you can find it in the international section of your grocery store).

    How to make it:

    Remove stems from mushrooms then place the mushrooms in a small sauce; cover with boiling water. Cover and let stand 10 minutes or until tender; drain. Thinly slice mushrooms; set aside.

    Combine broth, 2 cups water, ginger, and garlic in a large saucepan over medium-high heat; bring to a boil. Add mushrooms. Reduce heat, and simmer 5 minutes. Add vinegar, soy sauce, pepper, and tofu; bring to a boil. Reduce heat, and simmer 5 minutes.

    Combine remaining 1/4 cup water and cornstarch, stirring with a whisk. Stir cornstarch mixture into broth mixture; bring to a boil. Reduce heat; simmer 3 minutes or until soup thickens slightly, stirring frequently. Slowly pour egg whites into broth mixture in a steady stream, stirring constantly but gently with a wooden spoon. Remove from heat; stir in onions, cilantro, and sesame oil. Drizzle with chili sauce/oil, if desired. (I put about 1 teaspoon of the chili sauce in mine to make it a little hotter).


    Sunday Football appetizer:

    Note: I got a coupon for Bob Evans sausage and with it came a recipe called “sausage cups”. I couldn’t find Bob Evan sausage in my grocery store so I opted for which ever sausage you can find in your grocery store. (Original style sausage 1 lb).

    Ingredients:

    – 1 pound (Bob Evans or any) Original Sausage Roll
    – 1 package Won Ton Wrappers (I used the 16ounce won ton wrappers because it comes with more)
    – 1 cup Monterey Jack Cheese, shredded (Or I used Monterey Jack cheese with jalapeno peppers for a touch of spice).
    – 1 cup Cheddar Cheese (or I used sharp cheddar), shredded
    – 1/2 cup Ranch Dressing (I used a Ranch dressing with cucumber)
    – mini muffin tins (I used a regular sized muffin tin if you don’t have the mini tins)


    How to make the sausage cups:

    Preheat oven to 350° F. Crumble sausage into medium skillet. Cook over medium heat until lightly browned, stirring occasionally. Drain. Spray muffin tins and insert won ton wrappers to form a small cup (because my muffin tin was larger I put two won ton wrappers together in a diagonal form to make them a little larger to pop out of the muffin tin). Bake 5 minutes in preheated oven. Allow wrappers to cool. Mix sausage, cheeses and ranch dressing together. Fill won ton wrappers. Bake for 10 minutes until bubbly. (With the double won ton wrappers I had to bake it for 10 minutes in the beginning instead of 5 and later for about 10 minutes with the mixture).

    This dish was absolutely DELISH — I am definitely going to make this for the next Sunday Football game.

    Hope you enjoy these recipes and if you have more to share, let me know 🙂

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • What to do about husbands unusual sexual/metal health problem?

    The Question:

    My husband was 28 when we met and a virgin. When we started having sex, he opened up about being “different.” He wanted to wear panties and wanted me to make fun of his tiny penis. Didn’t love the stuff, but whatever. Now it’s a thousand times worse. He goes to Victoria’s Secret and tells the salesgirls he is being punished by his wife for wearing her panties and that I am “forcing him” to go buy some of his own. He told me he could see our neighbor undressing, so he tried to contact her to see if she wanted to humiliate him while he was dressed as a woman. And he recently “confessed” to a female coworker that he had a deep, dark secret he wanted to tell her. I confronted him, and he said he was going to tell her about me “forcing him” to wear panties and ask if she wanted to see his tiny penis! Now he tells he wants to flash women his panties so they can laugh at him.

    He sees nothing wrong with this behavior. I have children with him, this isn’t a joke, please help! He also is very mean, verbally to me and my children, says mean things and I just don’t know what to do.

    My Response:

    Dear Underwear;

    When you met your husband you knew what you were getting into, he showed his strange behavior almost from the start, now that it’s continued and worsened you want help? I just don’t understand how you didn’t see the signs from the beginning. No man wants a women to make fun of his penis and call it tiny, if anything they want encouragement that it’s nice and big. Your husband definitely has issues, and if you want to work things out and stay with him, you need to open up to him and go to counseling. See if he can get his urges under control. If he begins flashing people in woman’s underwear’s this can lead to more problems then what you already have. It’s hard because you have children, but you have to think about them first and foremost. If your children see their father in a woman’s underwear do you think that is okay? Communicate with your husband about how you are feeling towards this, ultimately it is going to be his choice to realize that he does have a problem and that it is not normal. Because this has been going on for so long and you accepted it, he may not understand why it’s such a big problem now. If he refuses to admit he has a problem and see professional help, you may have to make a decision to get him out of the house.

    Good luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Follow up on Madison Schafer (Brain Tumor)

    Follow up 11/12/10:

    Today we rejoice, if you are the family of Madison Schafer, if you are a friend, or even if you are a stranger who came to know her story, yesterday the Schafer family found out that the Cancer has finally left Madison’s body. With a few months of not knowing what will happen the family can finally rest in peace knowing that Madison will survive. Miracles do happen, they happen everyday, we just have to have a little faith, a little positiveness in our lives, a little prayer and Miracles do happen. The survival rate for CNS tumors is around 60%, Madison beat those odds and we are so grateful and happy for Madison and her family. Today the Schafer family celebrates that Madison is now Cancer Free! It will still be a year of chemo and radiation, to be sure all or any lingering cancerous cells are wiped out, but the 9% brain tumor IS GONE… and the year 2016 is still the date.. because they say she has to be 5 years after her last chemo without any signs of cancer to be claimed “cancer free”…
    (Schafer). You will pull through Madison you are a strong, beautiful little girl. We will keep you in our thoughts and in our prayers.

    xo
    kristin nicole

    GOD BLESS

    Following up 10/19/10:

    Madison has had a very long day and has been so good. She had 2 of the chemo’s injected into her spine and a spinal tap this morning and is now having 2 of the chemo’s through her port, one of which will be 72 hours long. The Doctor has lessened the strength of the chemo by 45% so her body will be able to handle the dosage better. Her white blood count has dropped rapidly as she started out the day at a count of 12 and is now down to 2.2. Pray for her body to be able to fight any infections.

    Due to the nature of her immune system, Chris and Susie ask that she receive no visitors in the hospital at this time. Hopefully, by the end of this week, she will be back home building back her strength and recuperating.

    Madison did continue to eat solid foods while she was having chemo, which is an excellent sign. And she made her daddy’s day when she ate one of his birthday cupcakes!!! So far, she seems to be handling the chemotherapy, but she still has 3 more days to go.

    PRAY! MAD LOVE! ~Written By: Madisonsstory.com~

    Madison’s Story-

    Update: 09/22/10 – Written By: Diane Schafer:

    “Celebration time.. come on!” Yes, Madison is home and we are so so very happy to have her home with her family. And we can tell, just by her face and body language that she is so happy too!!! What a difference it makes to be in her familiar surroundings and see her bah-bah Colin and mommy and daddy and Nona and Angel and Grammy all together. Popop had to deliver their dog, Charlie to our dear friends house who will take care of their dog until Maddie is better, so Popop will get to see Maddie at home soon.

    Madison came home to balloons and roses and a HUGE “Welcome Home Madison” sign on the front lawn which was printed by Vivian and her husband… what a special surprise for us all. I think I have heard Susie and Chris repeatedly say “It is so good to be home” … probably at least 20 times so far. Everyone will sleep good tonight. Nothing like a fresh shower at your own home. Madison had a nice warm bubble bath when she got home and everyone took a turn holding her. She hasn’t fallen asleep yet, because I don’t think she wants to miss a thing. Her Aunt (Titi) Claudia arrives tonight, so she will have plenty to keep her busy.

    She gets one whole day off from treatments and chemo. Friday she will be back to the hospital for a spinal injection of chemo and some other tests, so it might be another long day as an out patient. Physical and speech therapy will begin and daily shots at home will start and then a regular routine of out-patient chemo therapy. It is still a long road.. but it will be a ROAD TO RECOVERY. We have faith that God has a plan and Madison will be healed. The power of prayer is awesome and we can’t thank you enough for continuing to keep Madison in your prayers, as we know this is only the beginning of Madison’s Miracles.

    All our love, the Schafers and Navas.

    My thoughts:

    I am so happy that Madison is finally home with her loving family. This family is extremely strong and I think they will pull through this just fine. My prayers will continue for Madison and her family & I hope that you will do the same.

    Remember you can help donate to help pay the medical bills or help send gift cards for food etc. to Madison Scahfer.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    Below were earlier updates and what is going on with Madison

    Update: 09/21/10 – This is the condition that Madison has:


    General Information About Atypical Teratoid/Rhabdoid Tumor

    Central nervous system atypical teratoid/rhabdoid tumor is a disease in which malignant (cancer) cells form in the tissues of the brain.

    Central nervous system (CNS) atypical teratoid/rhabdoid tumor (AT/RT) is a very rare, fast-growing tumor of the brain and spinal cord. It usually occurs in children younger than three years of age, although it can occur in older children and adults.

    About half of these tumors form in the cerebellum or brain stem. The cerebellum is the part of the brain that controls movement, balance, and posture. The brain stem controls breathing, heart rate, and the nerves and muscles used in seeing, hearing, walking, talking, and eating. AT/RT may also be found in other parts of the central nervous system (brain and spinal cord).


    Update: September 18th – DAY ONE CHEMO:     Written by Diane Schafer

    Today has been a long and difficult day for Maddie. She had about 4 procedures done this morning, including cat scan, all kinds of base line tests, blood, eyes, hearing, vital signs etc. Then she had a spinal tap and then 30 minutes of chemo. She was brought back up to the room and actually looked great. She was wide awake and smiling and responding. But then after awhile she threw up twice, but then she was ok. She hasn’t napped but looked pretty tired… duh… who wouldn’t be. Now she is getting a ultra sound on both legs because the morning cat scan showed a spot on one leg, which might be a clot. She is such a trooper and only cries when a nurse comes in the room to do more tests… she is smart too, cause she knows they are up to something. They are going to do 8 hours of chemo next and then tomorrow they will do 24 hours of chemo, then a day of rest (ummmm it’s about time) and then 72 hours of chemo. The adage,” life is not fair” comes to mind when I see all that little Maddie is going through… no parent should have to watch their little child suffer. But I know there is hope in her future and many more daily victories in store for the Schafers. I am so appreciative of the many messages I am receiving from other parents who had a child with cancer and are now celebrating 5 years of cancer free life. I even heard from a mom whose child had the exact same rare cancer as Madison and had the proton treatment and had such encouraging words of hope as her child has fought and won the battle and is cancer free. Please continue to spread the word of Madison’s Story, and in 2016 we will pop the champagne cork and throw a huge party… because that is when the Doctor said Madison will be cancer free!

    (The story)
    Madison’s Grandmother Diane, sent me a beautiful thank you note on Face-Book for posting about Madison on my website.

    Her strength that she portrays in her writing is remarkable. It amazes me how people can be so strong and have such faith in God to pull us through, it is not only an inspiration but an eye opener to people who think their world is falling apart around them. In times of hardship we sometimes close ourselves off and we forget that there are people out there that care, there are people out there with compassion and understanding. Today I wanted to post the update on Madison that her grandmother Diane posted from her facebook.

    UPDATE on Madison:

    As most of you know either from us directly or through facebook, our grand-daughter, Madison, 20 months old, was diagnosed with a cancerous brain tumor. She is the daughter of our son, Chris and wife Susie and has a 5 yr. old brother Colin. One of the questions we are asked most often, is how or why did we know to check for a tumor? Or what were the signs?

    Briefly, Madison was just fine until about a week ago when she started showing signs of a cold, cranky, slept a lot and cried a lot, which definitely was not her personality. Susie had taken her to the pediatrician and he said it was a small ear infection and 4 new teeth were coming in…. take antibiotics and it will be fine. But after a few days it was getting worse, so they took her to an Urgent Care emergency and they said the same thing. Thursday morning, Ethel (Susie’s mom) had Madison and she looked worse and lethargic and her eyes were “rolling around” in their sockets, and she looked dazed. Ethel said this isn’t right and took her to Baptist Hospital ER. Fortunately the ER doctor saw the signs of the eyes rolling around and said she should have a CAT scan and that is when the very large tumor was seen in her brain. Almost 2 1/2 inches in her tiny little brain. Everything from that point on was fast and she was rushed to an MRI for a 3-D image of the tumor and by 10:00pm that same night she was undergoing 7 hours of brain surgery. They were able to remove 90% of the tumor, but the final 10% could not be removed and is cancerous. Tomorrow, Wednesday, they hope to get back the results as to what kind of cancer it is and how aggressive, so they will know what type of chemo treatment she needs. Tomorrow they will do a 3rd MRI to be sure there is no other cancer in her spine or other parts of her body, and they will also do surgery to implant a port for the chemo.

    Needless to say, our world has been turned upside down, but by the Grace of God, she has shown remarkable progress in her recovery. We truly believe God has been with us every step of the way, as there have been so many “Godinstances” of things just falling into place to make things happen; like the ER Doctor being on that shift when he wasn’t suppose to be there because his daughter had died of a tumor one week earlier and knew to request a CAT scan because of what had just happened to his daughter, and the newly hired neuro-surgeon who had already done 3 brain surgeries that day and was suppose to go home, but was still there for Madison at 10:00pm. There are so many more stories, but God knows each and everyone of them and we just praise him.

    FINALLY, I would like everyone to share this link with everyone else they know and spread the word. Madison’s pre-school, “Kids for Kids Academy”, has set up a link on their website for support and updates about Madison. Please click the following link and leave a comment for Chris and Susie.

    (Story above written by: Diane Schafer)

    You can help donate HERE.

    My thoughts:

    When I read about Madison all the small problems like worrying about school, or a little neck ache don’t compare, it reminds me to stop complaining and to just deal with life, because there are worse things that can happen. Like poor Madison who is only 20 months old, diagnosed with a brain tumor that is cancerous. There are always worse things out there, we just have to remember to take the bad with the good, have faith, remember that god is there for us and that he will pull us through. I truly believe everything happens for a reason, I don’t think that a child or family should have to suffer this way, and I don’t know why the reasons are what they are, but you have to be grateful for the small things, like Diane said the ER doctor wasn’t even supposed to be there because his own daughter just passed away from a brain tumor a week prior, yet he was there, and he noticed the signs that his daughter had, and if it hadn’t been for him, maybe another doctor would have diagnosed Madison with the same thing the other two doctors had diagnosed her with (teething and an ear infection). If he didn’t order that CAT scan… (well we don’t even want to go there), and the Surgeon who was already there, ready to go home after 3 surgeries, how he pulled through and continue to do what he does (save lives). These are the kind of the doctors we have to be thankful for, thankful to god for putting them in our world to make it better. God bless you Madison and my prayers are with you and your family.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    Update: 09/17/10 – Madison’s Grandmother wrote on her Face-book wall: I’m aware now!!! Madison was diagnosed with a very rare cancer that affects only 1% of cancer patients, called AT/RT. she begins Chemo tomorrow. (Written 09/16/10)

    More Updates as I hear or see them …. God bless

  • November Rain – Dedication to Veteran’s Day

    November Rain

    Today it rains on my parade
    Today the clouds come out to play
    Today like any other day is November Rain.

    I sit there by the window
    waiting for the phone
    waiting to hear about my husband
    who is out there in the war…

    I sit here in my room
    coloring on the walls
    wondering if my daddy
    will be able to tuck me in at all…

    I remember playing ball,
    I remember our first dates,
    I remember when we used to argue
    I remember his face.
    I wonder where he is,
    And I wish that I was there
    My older brother is my hero
    I just couldn’t bare…

    I sit here looking at the pictures
    remembering my son grow up
    I would have never imagined he would grow up to fight for us all.
    My son is a hero he left that November day
    He looked me in the eyes and said
    Mama, everything will be okay…

    I looked into his eyes, and told him I was proud
    but deep down inside I wanted to hold him down.
    I wanted to yell, please don’t go
    Do yo know how dangerous it is out there?
    Do you know some boys don’t come back home?
    I kissed him on the cheek and gave him a great big hug
    with tears in my eyes I said goodbye…

    I put on my brave eyes and told him I loved him
    That day it rained on my parade
    That day the clouds came out to play
    That day became November Rain.

    Mama please don’t cry
    but today is the day I go to war
    today is the day I fight for our country
    Please be brave, I’ll be alright but I have to do this
    It’s only right.

    My wife is waiting at home, I hold pictures of her at night,
    My child is waiting with tears in her eyes, I wish I can hold her tight. My brothers and sisters I miss so much I wish I can see them now,
    My mother is praying for me to come home,
    I wish I can call her now.

    I’ll never get that chance now,
    I did what I needed to do
    I fought for my country and died,
    but I believed in the Red, White and Blue.

    We stand strong,
    We live strong,
    It’s the way of a soldier.

    Today it rains on my parade
    Today the clouds come out to play
    Today like any other day is November Rain.

    ~Dedicated to all the Veterans, all the Soldiers who have passed, and all the Soldiers who are still out there risking their lives for us each and every day~

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    © written by: kristin nicole – 11/11/10~

  • Advice for living with a depressed person?

    The Question:

    My fiance is a manic depressive. We were engaged for 5 yrs, had a son. I was working full time 70 miles away from home, he was unemployed, staying home with the kids. The unemployment made him feel worthless and he stopped doing things around the house, was down 24/7, snippy, grouchy, etc. It got to the point where I left the house at 4am for work, got home at 6pm, and had to cook dinner, do laundry, bathe the kids, etc. I tried to help him, talk to him, love him. Nothing worked. He wouldn’t go to counseling because he didn’t have insurance, and he wouldn’t let me pay for it. After about a year or so, I couldn’t take it any more. I told him to move out. He left with nothing. He had no where to go. I felt horrible, but I felt like I had to do it to keep MY sanity and give my kids a good life. Flash forward. For the next “single” year of my life, I saw my ex-fiance at least 4 days a week. He would come to the house to see the kids, but he would spend most of his time telling me how much he loved me, how he had changed, and how he wanted his family back. He even admitted himself to a mental hospital for a few weeks and got on some meds. I am a pretty stubborn, independent woman, but after a year of this constant barrage of love and adoration, I gave in. I don’t want my kids to come from a broken home. My parents were married for 35 yrs before my dad passed. I thought I could make it work. It’s been 2 months. And about a month of that has been him being very insecure and depressed and just, well, weird. I am seriously considering just giving up. I don’t think I am a strong enough person to deal with an illness of this sort. He stopped taking his meds again because he doesn’t have insurance at his new job. I feel like a horrible person for not being able to deal with all this. I am afraid he will hurt himself if I make him leave again. His side of the family doesn’t really help him out, they don’t ever seem to see how serious things are. I guess I just need advice/opinions/and I’m sure I’ll get some haters.

    My Response:

    Dear Caregiver;

    You are in a hard position, because you have kids with this man I can understand not wanting them to grow up in a “broken home”, however with that said, is it any better for them to see their dad depressed all the time and acting the way he does and seeing you upset about it? It’s a hard decision and you have made it before, but I don’t find it selfish of you for thinking about yourself and your family before thinking of him. You can’t babysit him and if he can’t take control of his illness and find a way to take the medication to stay stable then there may be no hope for the two of you. Talk to him and explain to him that he needs to figure out how to get the medication or he needs to leave again. I know many people may find it selfish of you, or as if you were giving up, but sometimes we can’t control things in life, and we can’t fix them. You are an independent women and you will be fine; give him your support as a friend, and if you are truly madly in love with him, try to find a way to work things out, if you are staying with him just because of the kids, then re-evaluate your relationship and find a way to either stay together or move on. Living in a home with someone who is constantly depressed, insecure and so forth isn’t healthy for the children either, and don’t you think that is almost the same thing as a “broken home”?

    They will still have their father in their lives, and you will still be there for him as a friend, but you cannot stay with someone just because you feel bad for them. Live your life too, you deserve to be happy.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • I’m having sex problems with my fiance’, please help!?

    The-Question:

    My fiance’ and I get along great and in my opinion are very attracted to one another physically. The problem is that, during intercourse he comes quick. I’m talking 5-8 minutes! In the beginning it was not a big issue because he told me my body was just too good and he needs to get use to it. He does bring me to orgasm orally before sex, but like I said, “sometimes.”

    I have told him before that it bothers me and that I want to be pleased every time and his response was, “girls don’t need to *** every time” in a playful voice. I got pissed. I was so upset with him I called him selfish, inconsiderate, typical man…etc. He said what do you want me to do? Give you oral all the time? The way he asked made it seem like that was a bad thing as if he didn’t want to do it. We will have sex and in the middle he will stop to prevent himself from coming but I told him that just makes my arousal go down and now we have to start all over. I even give him oral before sex so that he can last longer but once he comes he’s tired and says his body can’t physically have sex. I even tell him sometimes before sex be prepared to go more than one round. Sometimes he does, but he still cums fast, and other times like last night he doesn’t even try to go again, he says he’s too tired. It gets to the point were I’m so angry I start throwing cheap shots or I make him leave the bed. Everything I have tried hasn’t worked.

    I read articles and books about teaching him how to please my body. I even tried to guide his hands to my sensitive spots and he’s groused out about touching my vagina. He doesn’t like the way that it feels and mentioned when he gives me oral he just closes his eyes so he doesn’t have to look. He quoted, “p***ies are ugly! I know what your thinking, how could I be with such a jerk? Besides the bedroom we have a really good relationship but our bedroom problems are now starting to effect my mood and how I feel about him as a whole. The reason I am so frustrated is because he has given me vaginal orgasms but only about 4 out of the hundredths of times we’ve had sex. I need for him to understand how important it is for me to have an orgasm too. We’re not trying to have kids so if we have sex it has to be enjoyable for both of us, if not why bother. I told him we’re going to have good sex or no sex. The reason why I am writing is because I am afraid that our sex problems will cause me to go astray. Not blaming or saying it is okay to cheat if your sex life with your partner is okay. But I must admit it has crossed my mind… Please Help….

    My Response:

    Dear Unsatisfied;

    Some men just can’t last long, and some can. Your man might be one of the few that can’t last long. This doesn’t mean he can’t please you in other ways… Sorry to say this, but he said “Vagina’s are ugly”. He actually said that??? He closes his eyes when he goes down on you, and that they are gross…. Okay this may be harsh to hear, but either your man is in the closet or he’s completely clueless. I am not sure how old you guys are, but this just doesn’t sound like a “GUYS’ GUY”. Most men like to please their women and give them oral sex, (yes not all the time), but they enjoy watching their women squirm for more. A man also NEVER and I mean NEVER says a vagina is “ugly” and or doesn’t like to touch it.

    Sex is a big part of a relationship; and if he is not satisfying your needs, don’t resort to cheating either talk it out and if things can’t change then you have a choice to make here. I understand the rest of your relationship is good, but this will definitely cause problems in the long run, and you don’t want to spend your time wasted on a man that can’t satisfy you. It sounds to me like you already tried helping him out and giving him hints as to what you like, and it seems to me like he isn’t getting it. Either live with the fact that he can’t satisfy you every time or move on and find a man that will. A man who is attentive in bed is a man you want around for a long time, a man who doesn’t care and calls your vagina “ugly”, feels it’s gross and doesn’t like touching it, is a man you have to truly question?!!

    Good luck

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com