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  • RIP Luis Ceballos – An Angel was taken

    RIP Luis

    In life we don’t know how we will die, or when we will die, but for others we are prepared and given no choice but to be taken from our family. Cancer is something not many people plan for, it isn’t something we can every truly understand, and no matter how hard we fight, sometimes Cancer defeats us, and with that God has taken a man that has touched so many. I only met Luis about two times, and in those two times you can tell he was an incredible man. This man meant so much to so many people. He walked into the life of my friends mom, she finally found the love her life and it saddens me to know she has lost him to the battle of cancer.

    A man who touched so many lives was lost yesterday, he has left behind a wife, and children and step children, grandchildren, family and friends. Luis had a journal in which he wrote how he felt, his last entry was on Father’s Day of 2012. You can see his journal entries here: http://lceballos61.livejournal.com/. If you truly want to meet a strong man, I recommend you read his journal. He is an inspiration to us all.

    Whenever you feel like your life isn’t going the way you expected, stop and be grateful for what you do have in your life. Luis taught us to stop and smell the flowers no matter how hard life hits you. He taught many never to give up and to live life to the fullest. I only hope that his family can take on his strength and that they will one day feel peace in their hearts. Today we mourn a man who was strong, a man who thought more about his own family than any other man I have ever met, and today I give thanks for knowing him, even if it was only for a short time. I give thanks to god for letting his wife and my friends have them in their lives and to love such a wonderful man. I am sorry they had to lose him to cancer and I will pray that they will get through this hard time.

    I love you all and my prayers are with you. Today God took not only an incredible man, but an angel. Rest In Peace Luis, we will all miss you.

    xo,

    kristin nicole

  • You’re NOT the one (Her thoughts)

    This is an old poem (Repost). Enjoy

    PART 2 – You’re NOT the One (Her thoughts)……

    You thought you stopped loving me?
    You thought you didn’t care?
    How could you be so selfish to just sit back and stare?
    I looked into your eyes as my eyes filled up with tears,
    You stood there standing watching me drown out my fears.

    You pretended to be happy.
    You put on an act,
    You thought I couldn’t see the truth,
    You had to face the facts.

    You put up a wall; you pushed me to the floor
    I did all I could do
    I even gave you my door.
    Then one day I woke up and realized this is it.
    I didn’t want to be with you, my fate was sealed with out your kiss.

    CHORUS:
    Now you’re the one crying inside
    You’re the one that can’t let go
    You’re the one wishing for me to come back
    Wishing once again I’d be at your door.

    You pushed me way to far.
    I walked right out the door.
    I told you I loved you but I couldn’t take the pain no more.
    I asked you if you loved me.
    I gave you one last chance.
    All you did was look at me, you failed my last request.

    With silence in your eyes, you stood in disbelief.
    You didn’t say a single word, you didn’t share a peep.
    If you would have listened closely,
    You can hear my every word,
    You can hear the tears fall down
    And my heart break in a million burns.

    You didn’t think I’d leave you,
    You thought I’d always be around
    You thought you had me.
    You stood your ground.

    Well you thought wrong…
    You let me walk away
    You lost me that day.
    Now you’re left with nothing to say.

    CHORUS x 2

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    © written by: kristin nicole

  • His thoughts (You’re the one)

    (Re-post)

    His thoughts (You’re the one) Part 1:

    I thought I stopped loving you and I thought I didn’t care.
    I pushed our love aside, as you looked into my eyes.
    You cried for me and I let you down.
    I don’t know how to fix this so I almost let you drown.

    I pretended to be happy
    But you knew the real me
    You knew how to make me smile and I let you leave.

    You were my everything and I let you down.
    I let you walk away that day,
    What the fuck was I thinking when I let you get away?
    Why did I put up this wall?
    Why did I let you go?

    Chorus: I’m crying inside
    I can’t break free
    Sadness is killing me
    Please come back to me.
    I can’t let you go
    You’re my everything.

    I pushed you away until you stepped out the door.
    You said you loved me but you couldn’t take the pain no more.
    You asked me if I loved you
    If we could make it work,
    You said all there was to say
    Then you walked away…

    I stood in silence as you looked into my eyes
    I couldn’t say a word, as tears rolled down your eyes…..
    I saw I was breaking your heart.
    But I stood in disbelief
    Never thought you would really leave me!

    I can’t lose you now
    You’re all I ever had
    I thought I’d never lose you but I was wrong to think I had
    Because I still had you,
    You were mine in every way
    And when I let you walk away
    I lost you that day!
    Now I’m left with nothing to say….

    CHORUS x 2

    I can’t let you go
    You’re my everything….

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    © written by: kristin nicole

    Next Post you can read Part II – Her side….

  • You’re my kind of Perfect

    Hello – Anyone out there reading my posts? Sadly no one entered a poem to be featured in today’s post, so I guess I will have to put one of my OLDER Poems…… I wrote this and tweaked it a little to sound a little better. If you are reading… Let me know what you think.

    Random Thoughts…

    Have you ever just realized that the person you are with isn’t perfect, but with all the flaws and all the differences you have you know deep down that this person is for you, that He or She is your kind of Perfect? I grew up and realized that no one is perfect, but that is what makes us all unique, and in the end there is always that one person who fits perfectly together with you. This was dedicated to my boyfriend…

    You’re my kind of Perfect

    When I found you I didn’t know you would be the one
    When you found me we were just having fun
    Then out of nowhere we fell in love.

    I never thought you were perfect but to me you shine that light
    When I’m in the dark you make everything alright.
    When we kissed I felt the summer breeze.
    When our eyes met I knew deep down that now I can finally breathe.

    When I met you I was lost,
    I didn’t think love really existed,
    But I opened up my heart to you,
    I let you see the me no one sees,
    And when you looked at me I knew
    I had to let you in my world,
    Because without you, I just wouldn’t be me.

    Through the years you’ve been my strength
    My best friend through it all
    And even though we aren’t perfect
    You’re my kind of Perfect
    You’re my kind of Love…

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    © Written By: kristin nicole June 2, 2011 Edited: March 2,2012

  • Little Black Box

    Little black box

    When you left I put you in a box
    wrapped you up and left you in the back of my head
    Every now and then you pop up in my mind
    leave me alone
    it just isn’t our time

    You left me so sudden
    it all just went away
    I didn’t have time to cry for you
    so I walked away.

    Everyone leaves one day
    but it just wasn’t your time
    that day in the hospital
    a part of me died.
    Every time someone left a part of me left too
    it’s a wonder I’m still here
    standing here
    writing this to you.

    With tears held back
    I shiver in fear
    because I don’t know who I’ll lose next
    and drown out my tears

    The world is so big
    yet oh so small
    why can’t you just leave when you leave
    why do you linger in my dreams?

    Letting go of pain
    is the hardest thing I’ve had to do
    Living in this world of mine
    I do what I have to do

    Today is another day
    Today I continue to walk
    Today I live my life
    with you in that little black box.

    © ~written by: kristin nicole – March 16, 2011

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • Did you ever think of me?!?

    Did You Ever Think Of ME?

    Did you ever stop and think of me
    Or did you just pretend I never existed?
    Closed that door
    made a lie about how you never loved me anymore
    Left me standing there with my heart on my sleeve
    wondering what I did wrong
    Wondering how I can fix something that didn’t exist.

    I wrote you a letter
    you never wrote back
    later i found out you held it in your sack.
    Why didn’t you say anything to me
    why did you hide who you were
    don’t you know i would have loved you anyway

    Standing there all alone
    I cried
    Wondering why you couldn’t love me
    And with tears in my eyes I pulled out that paper and pen
    started to write all the things you didn’t want to feel
    But I told you the truth
    and the truth always hurts
    look in the mirror and see who you are
    stop hiding
    I’m right here.

    No words can express the pain you caused me
    I think that’s when I started shutting people out
    I started to hide behind a wall
    because behind the wall no one can see
    all the pain you truly caused me.

    I pulled out that paper and pen
    started to write all the things you didn’t want to hear
    But I told you the truth
    and the truth always hurts
    look in the mirror and see who you are
    stop hiding
    I’m right here.

    Now it’s too late
    you’re already gone
    Why couldn’t you see the truth
    that no matter who you were
    I would always love you.
    Why couldn’t you stop hiding?
    I was right here…

    © written by: kristin nicole – February 19, 2010 – Friday

    ~ This was written about someone that used to be in my life. They passed away without ever being able to talk things out. Life is too short, when you feel something let the person you love know because you never know when they’ll be gone. If I haven’t said it enough, I love you!~

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • Are you stupid, blind or just naive?

    Are you stupid, blind or just naive,
    Can’t you see what you are doing
    is going to change everything?

    This isn’t a game,
    There’s people involved
    You can’t pretend it didn’t happen
    You can’t turn back…

    In the midst of light
    I see you
    when I look at you
    I thought I knew you
    Now I look at you
    and I see a stranger
    A person who lies
    A person who schemes
    A person in which today I see
    but tomorrow I flee

    When the world seemed to crumble down
    you shut us out
    When you shed tears of sadness
    You cried alone
    When your heart falls apart
    no one will be around
    because in every moment of sadness you
    pushed the people you loved away.

    Today I open my eyes
    and I SEE that nothing is ever really meant to be

    But with every hope inside
    I come to realize
    that illusions of the heart
    make you blind

    It is not that you are stupid
    blind or naive,
    its that you are a child who just can’t see…

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    © ~Written By: kristin nicole – April 6, 2011 (Wednesday)~

  • Stop being so blind…

    Stop being so blind…

    Can’t you see the truth
    Why must you be so blind?
    I guess at this age we just like to hide.

    I don’t know what to tell you
    What to say or what to do
    I wish you can see when it’s just not meant to be.

    Love is blind
    the heart doesn’t want to see with the mind
    Open your eyes and see the truth
    that in the end he/she will only hurt you.

    Sometimes I see you and it makes me so sick
    to see someone with such a looser
    it’s a waste of a breath.

    In the end you’ll see the light
    In the end you’ll understand
    that what I want for you is only the best.

    Stop being so blind, and open your eyes
    Start seeing the truth that is right in front of you.

    © Written By: Kristin Nicole – 04/26/11 – Tuesday

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    ~Written a long time ago for a friend stuck in a bad relationship. Thankfully she was able to realize that he was no good for her, and she is now with someone she loves very much and who loves her back.

  • Life gets BUSY….

    Life gets BUSY….

    So lately I’ve been slacking on Soapnights, there really is no excuse but I just have been feeling very overwhelmed with work, school and my new house.

    Renovating a new house with my boyfriend has taken much more of our time then ever expected. Although we are absolutely loving it and it’s coming out beautiful, it’s a lot of work, time and money.

    Happy New Years By the way…..

    This year we took a trip for new years to a small town called Blairsville, Georgia. It’s a beautiful little town, and getting away from life for a while helped me relax a bit before starting the new year.

    In life we sometimes get so busy we forget to stop and smell the roses ‘so to speak’. I’ve been so busy lately that with a blink of an eye it’s already 2012! When did life start passing me by? I have so much left to do before I turn 30 and this year is going to be my year.

    Let’s start off with what I will accomplish before the end of the year:

    Bachelors Degree in Psychology by June
    Starting Masters in Journalism
    Finish Remodeling my house ~ At least in the inside…
    And…. A few things I won’t say because I don’t want to jinx them 😉

    That’s not such a long list, now is it?

    Ever wonder what you will accomplish before your 30? 40? 50? I really don’t, I live in the moment and I try to focus on what is right in front of me at the moment, but getting older I do start to wonder and think about all the things I should have done by now that I’m still working on. So although this year is going to be busy I am going to make it an effort to write more on my site and if you have any questions or concerns you need advice on, I’m only an email away.

    As for today. Happy Friday the 13th!!! Let’s start this weekend out with a SMILE~

    xo
    kristin nicole

  • I’m pregnant and my husband doesn’t come home…

    The Question:

    Dear kristin nicole;

    I have read some on the stories and comments you gave to other women, and I’m in the same kind of boat and I don’t know what to believe or do. So here is my story please help.

    Me and my husband have been married for 9 months, still newlyweds but have lots of problems. We or I should say I did rush into due to a baby on the way and I loved him and he loved me. So we got married. It was great we were happy. He has a kid from a previous relationship and I do to, but he was great with my daughter, I mean great. That’s her daddy, and especially since her father is out of the picture. We lost the baby I was pregnant with 2 weeks after the wedding. We were both sad. We both want a baby and have been trying since then, but we argue all the time. He says he has no say so in anything the house, my daughter nothing. I just disagree on something and he doesn’t understand. The arguing has got bad over little things. So much that his son doesn’t want to come here anymore. We are both tired of it, he’s even said he wanted a divorce. So to my big problem I found out in November we where pregnant I was so excited because we had been trying and praying, but he didn’t seem too happy. We started arguing about baby names he started saying he had no say in this either, that I’m always downing him and acting different with his son, which is not true. I speak my opinion and I disagree. I do agree I am different with his son and my daughter and I’m sorry for that. For the last past two weeks its been hell fighting all the time. He was getting laid off from his job and I tried talking to him, it wasn’t good enough. He said I act as if I could care less, but I tried talk to him so two weeks ago after a fight about me not caring he left for work and hasn’t come back. His story is he has a new job and there working out of town, he will be home this day. When they day comes its something else his car broke he cant make it. I’ve accused him of cheating being with someone else and he said he’s not with anyone else that he is just working and that he is tired of me accusing him all the time. When I try to talk to him about what I feel and I love him, he avoids my questions or when I ask when are you coming home he gives me a day and it never happens. He wasn’t even here for Christmas and that made me really mad and I went off on him and told him to just come get his stuff I wanted a divorce because I cant take his lying and him not begin here especially with me three months pregnant with his baby, it hurt bad and I don’t know what to. I love him and I want us to be a family, my daughter loves him and miss I him. I don’t believe he’s working out of town. He said he was working today but he always has his son and he told me he was taking him to work with him. That’s BS because you don’t take a 5 year old to your so called new job especially when you say you are building apts. He came home Thursday wanting sex and got some more clothes said he would be back Saturday and like always he came up with an excuse. I do not know what to do. I need help… why would he just walk away after knocking me up and after me telling him we can work on this, that we have a baby on the way and that I don’t want to go down this road. He accuses me of sleeping with people but I love him to much to do that. Bills are behind because of his actions and I just need some advice. Please I don’t want to lose him.

    ~Desperate

    My Response:

    Dear Desperate;

    Sometimes men get scared, and having a child together is a big deal. He may be feeling confused since you have been arguing lately. Try sitting down with him and talking to him. Explain to him how you feel, that you love him and you don’t want to be arguing all the time. You want to make sure he is happy in your marriage. You can try telling him how you feel but if he’s not willing to try, there is nothing you can do. The fact that you are suspicious of him cheating on you and that he doesn’t show up sometimes is not a good sign. You need to try and think of you and your baby at this point, is this type of relationship you want to show your child? Is the type of man you truly want for yourself? I know it’s not easy and you are definitely in a hard position but you have to think about your unborn child now. The most important thing to do is to take care of yourself. If you have family you can stay with, try getting your bills paid and try making a life for you and your child. It sounds to me like you can do better then this guy…. If he was a real man he would stand up and try to make things work with you. If he truly loves you he will at least TRY to make it work.

    I hope I could help. I hope your New Year gets better in time.

    xo,
    kristin nicole