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Tag: miami

  • I don’t like it when my GF sleeps with her husband…

    The Question:

    How can I gently tell my Girlfriend that I don’t like it when she sleeps with her husband? She did it twice last week and I’m beginning to feel like she’s just using me. HELP
    ~Feeling Used

    My Response:

    Dear Feeling Used;

    Let’s start off with what is wrong with this question….. “I don’t like it when she sleeps with her HUSBAND”….. HUSBAND….. Husband and did I mention HUSBAND? She is married, of course she is going to sleep with her husband, she is having an affair with you and she hasn’t left her husband yet, that should be a clear sign to get out. Well the first sign was the fact that she was MARRIED. The second sign is that she hasn’t left him for you and she is still sleeping with him. Find a woman that isn’t married, a woman that you can be with without hiding it from people, and a woman that will want to be with you and only you. Good luck

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Should I feel guilty?

    The Question:

    Should I feel guilty? Why do I?? Confused!!?

    Ive just come out of a relationship. It was hard to end and I wasn’t happy in the end. The guy didn’t talk to me for weeks after we split and now he turns up saying all the stuff I ever wanted to hear. Mean while, I started dating (nothing serious just dates) this other guy. I explained to the new guy, that I’m just out of a relationship and I have mixed up feelings, and he is ok about it. So why do I feel guilty? Like if I’m cheating on someone when I’m not!!? I told my ex we can talk next week but I can’t promise more then that and we will see what happens. Am I doing anything wrong? Why do I feel guilty? I’m no one’s girlfriend now right? Thanks in advance for your advice.
    ~Conflicted

    My Response:

    Dear Conflicted;

    You shouldn’t feel guilty because you were very honest with they guy you are dating about just being out of a relationship and not wanting anything serious. You are probably conflicted because you may really like the new guy you are dating, and even though you haven’t done anything but talk to your ex, you are feeling like it’s wrong. If you weren’t happy at the end of your relationship then why do you want to talk to your ex now? I think the best thing to do is move on from your ex, and the easiest way to do that is to stop talking to him. If you really like this new guy then don’t ruin it by talking to your ex. If you are confused, then take some time off from both of them and see what you want to do. If you have unfinished feelings with your ex then maybe talking to him and seeing him will clear a few things up for you. Don’t drive yourself crazy about it though, you are single and you are doing nothing wrong, you were honest with the guy you are dating, so if he wants to stick around while you sort out your feelings then that is entirely up to him. Good luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

    August 25, 2011

  • Is it wrong to feel this way about my wife?

    The Question:

    Me and my wife dated 7 months, got married, and now we are almost married a full year. We almost got divorced 2 different times, one was a week ago. She has a bad emotional past (family divorces, alcoholism in two fathers) and we don’t share much in common, we were attracted to each other sexually very much, and developed a friendship and evolved into love. Lately it hasn’t been good, past few months have been crappy. When it gets good though, I always seem to wish she would be this girl I have in my head, who wears dresses all the time and is extremely feminine and sweet. My wife never wears dresses (it sucks!) and is more “country” than “feminine city girl”. I knew this going in, but now I just wish she would be like that. What do I do? Is there a real girl out there to fulfill this need of mine or maybe just stick with my wife, who I have a relationship with and shared many memories with? I just don’t wanna miss out on anything in life. Sometimes it sucks because I like video games and good movies and she hates games and likes one type of movie. Also she always seems too “sick” or “hurt” to do anything or go anywhere fun. She is on meds for Arthritis and a couple other things. (we are both 22 years old). She also has self esteem issues, she is codependent on others too. I wish she was independent. She has had many jobs but quite them all for various reasons. any advice?
    ~Too Young

    My Response:

    Dear Too Young;

    It sounds to me like you got into this marriage way too fast. If you love her, try talking to her about how you feel, try perhaps marriage counseling. If you are staying with her just because you feel bad and you aren’t truly in love with her then maybe the best thing to do is go your separate ways. You are both very young and you have so much left to do in your life. If you don’t have any kids this is the easiest divorce that you can have, just split what you have and move on. There are many other women out there that you can have more in common with, next time though, don’t get married so quickly and really get to know the person you are with. No one is ever going to like the same things 100% of the time, but each person has to be willing to try and do the things their partner likes. If you love your wife, try talking to her first, maybe she would be willing to wear dresses more often and watch a different type of movie every now and then, if she really isn’t willing to try and you just aren’t in love with her anymore then you have a decision to make.
    Good luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Why Doesn’t my boyfriend want to have sex with me anymore?

    The Question:

    We’ve been dating for over a year now but in the last few months our sex has drastically decreased, at first it started to go down from at least 1-2 times a day for at least 5 months and then it went down to 1-2 times a week and then to 1-2 times a month and now it’s been a month and a half since we’ve had sex. I’ve read a few articles about this already, but none seem to fit my problem exactly. I was worried for a while that it might be me that was the problem but he told me it wasn’t and I know he wouldn’t lie to me. I’ve asked him about it but he says there’s nothing wrong. I just don’t know what to do anymore. He’s only a year older than me and he’s suppose to be in his prime. Is there anything I can do? I Haven’t pressured him or anything because I don’t want him to do it just to shut me up. I want him to want to, and I’m just not satisfied anymore and I’m not asking for everyday, at this point once or twice a week would be nice. As far as I know there’s nothing he’s stressed about at work or school, could it be a combination of the 2? or something else going on that I don’t know about? And please keep in mind that I am searching for help and advice and I don’t want to hear find a new boyfriend. I love him and I’m not leaving him, even if it means were not going to have sex anymore, but it’s frustration for the time being as I find it a tad odd that I want it more than he does, and I don’t really want to talk to any of my friends about it because I live in a small town and this is personal and I don’t need everyone talking about it, and the last thing I want him to feel is embarrassed. I haven’t told anyone of my friends but I’m in need of some advice. Any Ideas?

    My response:

    Dear no sex;

    Unfortunately we cannot read the minds of a man, and the only way to get answers is asking him. I know you asked him and he said everything was fine, but it obviously isn’t fine. Don’t feel ashamed to push a little, I know you said you don’t want him to have sex with you just to shut you up, tell him that, tell him you want him to want to have sex with you. You have needs too, and just like women, even if he isn’t in the mood, he needs to give it up sometimes. Sex is a very big thing in relationships, so I know you love him and you aren’t going to leave him, that you rather live without sex, well I’m sorry but this will eventually put a damp on your relationship. You need sex in a relationship it’s one of the many ways you show the attraction towards each other, the love that you two still share, without it, it can definitely cause problems. Open up to him, try coming on to him, put on a lingerie and call him into the bedroom. (Have you tried any of these things?) I know for a women, him not wanting to have sex is like a rejection because we don’t expect men to not want to have sex, but this is normal in some men, the stress from work or school like you stated could be a reason why he’s so pre-occupied with working late in the office and falling asleep in the office. This isn’t healthy for your relationship though, and you need to talk to him about this. I don’t want to say he’s having an affair, but sometimes this is the case in a man not wanting to have sex anymore with his girlfriend or wife. This could be far from the case, I am not sure how your relationship works and if he’s away from home a lot or not, I just have to put that out there as a result to him not wanting to have sex with you. As I stated though, there can be many more reasons other then an affair. If you want your relationship to work you need to communicate, that is the biggest step in trying to figure out what is wrong and getting back a little sex in your life.

    So lets review:

    1. Talk to him (Don’t be afraid that he’ll just have sex to shut you up). He needs to know how you feel.
    2. Dress up, come on to him, don’t sit around waiting for him to come to you.
    3. If all else fails… Communicate! (SEX is very important in a relationship). Don’t hold back, you deserve someone who will fulfill your needs.

    Good luck…

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    This was an old post I found on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Jump into the Jacuzzi with Ex or Current BF?

    I was scanning the web when I bumped into this article “Ask Kitty” the Title “Kitty Jumps into the Jacuzzi”.

    The women wrote as follows:

    “My company has a Jacuzzi on the 15th floor of our office building and I’m dying to try it out. There is a special guy in my life, but I’m thinking water sports should involve someone I can get wild and crazy with, i.e., my biker ex-boyfriend. Prior to our breakup, I promised him a romp in the tub, but we never got around to it. Would it be super-scandalous if I took him up there instead of my bf? And do we need to use a rubber? My bff told me the hot water will kill the sperm. A baby would be a clear indication I’ve cheated.” (you can find the link below, if you want to see Kitty’s response). ~Juana Getwhet

    My Response:

    Dear Juana,

    First I would like to acknowledge the fact that you stated you had a best friend who told you hot water will kill sperm. First tell your friend to take some classes on “how to get pregnant”. YES, You can get pregnant in water, jacuzzi, pool with chlorine, any type of water anywhere that you aren’t using protection you can get pregnant. (Water will also not stop any transmitted diseases). I advise you get on a birth control pill because using a condom in the water can easily break. (Remember birth control pills also won’t help with transmitted diseases). BTW…(Sorry if I’m too blunt, but I don’t want you to make a mistake that you’ll later regret). As you indicated “A baby would be a clear indication that you cheated”. Along with many other responsibilities you’ll have to deal with later. Now back to the rump in the jacuzzi with someone who is “wild & crazy”. Have you even tried talking to your current man about getting wild & crazy in the jacuzzi on the 15th floor? How do you know he won’t be up for it? I guarantee any man wouldn’t pass an invitation like that up. If by chance he does turn you down, maybe you should re-think him being your man. My only other concern is the fact that just because your ex and you had discussed doing something like this, why would you even give him that chance to do that with you now that he is your EX? Perhaps you aren’t quiet over you ex? Issues we wold have to discuss another time.

    In Conclusion:

    Talk to your new man and have that wild & crazy night in the jacuzzi with him, not your Ex. And remember to always use protection.

    XO,
    Kristin Nicole

    If you want to read what Kitty’s response was you can link Here.

  • A poor man’s sign for help

    Yesterday I was driving home, and if you live in Miami and have ever been to 57th and US-1 You know there is usually a poor man standing there with a sign asking for money. This man yesterday had a sign that read: ” Please help children in need, they need food too”. Now I was thinking…. Should I give this guy money even though he is obviously putting it out there that he’s lying and using children as an excuse, even worse….

    My thoughts:

    So I thought to myself would people be willing to give a guy money who’s sign read ” Please help children in need, they need food too” vs. “Please help, need money for food, drinks and drugs”. Or whatever he actually needs the money for? So I sat there thinking for a second or two and I think I rather give money to the guy who’s honest. Even if it is for some alcohol. At least I know he’s being honest. BUT What do you think? What would you do??

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • It’s been 12 years & NO SEX!

    The Question:

    What do you do when you’re really sick of being married?
    I’ve been married 12 years, but my husband and I have never had sex. He can’t. He doesn’t even try anymore (he never really did). We separated for 4 years because of it. People say he must be gay… We got back together a few months ago because I felt divorce is a sin…And sit or get off the pot, ya know. But nothing’s changed. I thought I could deal, but now I don’t know. What’s worse, he’s dirty and messy. He doesn’t shower or brush his teeth enough. I look at him and think Ick. I’m turned off but still don’t want an eternity of celibacy. Sigh…I really don’t want to hurt him. But I’m only 38 and I’d like a normal sex life.

    What can I do?

    My Response:

    Dear Celibate;

    I normally say try to work out, communicate with him what you need, but 12 years is a long time, why you stuck it out this long is beyond me, and why you married a man that wasn’t at all affectionate or intimate with you is also beyond me. You said you have never had sex with your husband? I am not sure what to say about this…. He either has issues with his member or he is in the closet, but why he would stay in a marriage where neither of you is happy is again “BEYOND ME”…. I know you think divorce is a sin, but you are still young, and no one should live in a marriage where they aren’t happy, where they are celibate from their own marriage, you are missing all the fun, all the intimacy moments to have with your spouse, to share and love and grow. You are still young, you need to move on, get out there and find a man that knows how to satisfy your needs. You need to LIVE, we only live once and life is too short to stick around someone you aren’t even happy with. Like I said I normally say try to work things out if you love him, and communicate, but this looks like a lost case (12 years) is a long time, it’s time to get off the pot like you said, and move on! Love yourself and find a man that will love you back.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • My girlfriend is texting with another guy

    I don’t know if you are familiar with Yelp.com, but I was going through the threads when this question popped up:

    The Question:

    Its been almost a year and my girlfriend keeps texting back and forward with a coworker I was competing with when we were dating. This guy keeps telling her how beautiful she is and texting her when she is not at work. Initially I didn’t mind the competition but when she became mine, I let it go but this guy keeps coming back. Should I have a talk with her? I am not a jealous guy but I don’t want to be play a fool. Help!
    Thanks.

    My Thoughts:

    Dear Mr. Not Jealous

    Lets start off with my first question. Is your girlfriend texting this guy back?!?

    You don’t want to cause conflicts at work if you work with this guy, so I would advise you talk to your girlfriend. You say you guys have been together for a year now, and that should mean open and honest communication with each other. Tell her how you feel, and have her text him back asking him to please not text her anymore. If she loves you and she wants your relationship to work, I see no problem in her doing this.

    If she has a problem texting and telling this guy to stop texting her, then maybe there is something else behind these texts. If she’s texting him back, maybe he thinks it’s okay to tell your girlfriend she is beautiful. This is a disrespect to you and your relationship and he also needs to know that he’s stepping over his boundaries. Maybe go up to him nicely and ask him to please stop texting your girlfriend, that you don’t appreciate it. If this is too straight forward for you and you feel this may cause conflict (as I stated above) in the work place then speak to your girlfriend and have her tell him to stop.

    If she refuses then maybe you need to sit down and see what she wants out of your relationship, because if she’s going to continue flirting and texting with this guy then maybe you need to re-evaluate your relationship.

    XO,
    Kristin Nicole

  • My friend had sex with her brother…

    The Question:

    Parents what would you do if your son, and daughter had sex? Just wondering?
    I know a friend of mine who had sex with her brother she told me, and I want to know if I were to tell, what parents would do in general in that kind of situation?

    My response:

    Dear Teen with a big secret;

    I am not a parent but I am an older sister to my 16 year old sister. It is a scary thought that your kids may be having sex and to find out that they are I couldn’t imagine. BUT…. Yes…But…..it is going to happen one day. I don’t agree with having sex at such a young age and I do think that you really need to think about it before doing it. Most boys just want to have sex and nothing more, and the minute the girl gives it up the boy is gone. I know this happened to a lot of my friends in high school. If you are a parent that just found out your son or daughter is having sex or had sex, the only thing you can do is try to NOT to overreact. Try to talk to them about all the consequences, like diseases and about teen pregnancy. If you have a boy buy him condemns and explain to him about all the things that can happen along with respecting girls. If you have a girl, I think it is a lot harder, you can either get her on birth-control (Most parents think this is just giving the OKAY to have sex) but it’s better than the alternative…(Pregnancy), and you need to talk to her and explain all the the bad stuff that can come with having sex at such a young age. In the situation that your friend had sex with her own brother, that is just plain WRONG! That is incest and it can be that the brother raped her or molested her. If she had sex with her own brother willingly, that is wrong on all levels and either way they need help. In that situation I am not sure what the parents would do, they need to talk to both of them and find out exactly what happened and why. They will then need to have a lot of counseling. This is not normal and I hope your friend knows this. I hope she can get the help she needs and I hope her parents are strong enough to deal with something like this. Good luck….

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Tomorrow’s not Promised

    There comes a time in life when you have to realize this is it… when everything around you changes and you feel like you have changed as well. This is called “growing up”.

    In a life full of questions, in a life full of fun, there isn’t a moment that passes that I wonder is this the one?

    Is this the one time that I’ll make this mistake
    Is this the one time I’ll cry
    Is this the one time I’ll laugh
    Or is this all a lesson of which I’ve passed?

    Time is an essence
    a tick of the clock
    when you look around you
    nothing has stopped.

    Every     day passes
    another day gone
    another day older
    another day closer.

    Live your life to the fullest
    and have no regrets
    because tomorrow’s not promised
    but today…
    today I live
    today I grow
    today i tell you i love you
    Tomorrow, I just don’t know…

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    © written by: kristin nicole 2009