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Tag: mother

  • I’m too involved in my daughters life and it’s taking me away from my son and husband

    Over Involved Mother – image by: google.com/images

    The Question:

     Dear Kristin Nicole;

    I am way too involved in my nearly 15 year old daughter’s life. It consumes me and my happiness seems to be dependent on how happy she is. I find myself getting too involved in social issues and give advice often before she asks for it. We have a great relationship and she tells me so much but I sometimes wish she didn’t. Lately I have lost sleep worrying about girl issues and boyfriend issues. She is extremely attractive and athletic and often suffers from jealous girls trying to knock her down. Lately these girls have been trying to turn boys against her and have succeeded to a point. She says it doesn’t worry her but I struggle to believe that. She says she is fine but I just can’t stop worrying and giving advice. I need to stop before I ruin the wonderful relationship we have had and she stops telling me things. It’s just that I know what can potentially happen and I am trying to protect her from it. Help me to stop as i am neglecting my 11 year old son and husband that is all that is consuming my thoughts. I am an educated person with a degree so I should know better! (Edited by: KN)

    My Response:

    Dear Over involved mom;

    I know it’s hard to not worry about your daughter, but you have already passed the first step of realizing you are too involved. You have to accept that your daughter needs to make her own mistakes and you need to try to let what she tells you not bother you. If your daughter is open with you and she is telling you that she is okay, you need to believe her and let her come to you if things aren’t okay. Start making time for mother and son day. I can only imagine that things in common with an 11 year old son may be difficult but try to see what he wants to do and start giving him attention as well. Also try to make time for a date night with your husband and talk to him about how you are feeling. If you don’t explain to him how you feel then he won’t understand what it is you are going through. If you talk to him then at least he will have a better understanding on what is going on with you. Remember communication is key, let him help you and get your mind off things. Remember teenagers will have ups and downs, that’s why it’s called teenage years, so try not to worry so much about your daughter. It sounds to me like she’s a smart girl, and she already knows she can come to you if she needs you. Start focusing on the good and don’t over analyze everything she tells you.
    Good Luck
    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • Losing the people we love…

    Life’s struggles:

    In life we lose the people we love, sometimes something as simple as a breakup and other times something called forever. We live our lives not realizing that tomorrow is not guaranteed and we take advantage of the people we love. Sometimes we don’t even get the chance to tell them we love them because we had a petty argument. This week I’ve seen a bosses dad pass away, a friends mom and the faith they hold inside, that things really do happen for a reason.

    In the end…

    It’s inevitable to avoid the fact that one day we are going to lose someone we love. Whether it’s our grandparents, our parents, our spouse, and some people lose people they never thought possible, their children. We don’t know why things happen and we don’t know why we have to lose the people we love and go through that pain, but it’s a pain that no one can truly explain, even though at one point in our lives we have all felt it or we are going to feel it one day. Life doesn’t teach us how to deal with losing someone we love, it doesn’t teach us how to cope or how to keep living our lives without them, we just do.

    The day comes…

    The day comes when we have to feel that pain, we have to cry and we have to grieve and we have to keep living without the people we love. This is why it’s so important to not take advantage of the people you love, make sure to tell them you love them and make sure that no matter what happens you are there. For that one split second in time when your life stops, when your heart stops, we grieve for the person we lost, and we hold that sadness inside of us in which we hope will only make us stronger and we continue to live our daily lives without them, because the world doesn’t stop for us, the world doesn’t let us cry on it’s shoulder and it doesn’t let us understand why things happen for a reason. Sometimes we ask why? but there never seems to be an answer, and we keep moving forward. Life stops for no one, so don’t stop living, don’t stop believing and don’t stop telling the people you love that you love them, because at the end of the day, the world keeps moving forward, we keep moving forward.

    xo,
    kristin nicole