Just another WordPress site

Tag: pregnant

  • Advice Column: Sex with the ex to get pregnant

    Advice Column: Sex with the ex to get pregnant? Image found on flickr.com
    Advice Column: Sex with the ex to get pregnant? Image found on flickr.com

    The Question:

    Sex with the ex to get pregnant.
    I am desperate for a baby. My ex and I are still quite close and with a little extra push on my part I believe that we could not only resume physical relations but could also get back together again. I am prepared to do this alone if need be, but something tells me that if I manage to get pregnant he would probably very easily come back. My question is this, given that I could potentially put my family back together and get the baby I desire should I initiate sex with him when I am ovulating without telling him? He will obviously be aware that I am looking to have another baby but I just won’t tell him about the dates. So if he has sex with me, then he understands the ‘risk’ but doesn’t completely understand that extent of the risk as long as I timing it right. Right?
    (Edited)
    My Response:
    Dear Ex;
    If you want to truly have a baby but you don’t care that you may have to raise this baby on your own that is definitely up to you. There are a lot of single parents out there or certain circumstances a woman has in her life that she chooses to bring a baby into this world without a father present in their life. However; this is a big responsibility and you have to not only think about what you want but you need to think about your future baby, and what is best for him or her. On that note; it is extremely wrong to persuade a man to have sex with you just to have a baby. Does it take two to tango? Yes, but that doesn’t mean it’s okay to not tell him you are ovulating to just get pregnant. If he does fall for this, then he’s an idiot because you should always use protection or contraceptives when having sex with someone. I think that you are trying to make your reasoning behind this okay, but it’s not okay. What you are doing is sneaky and irresponsible. Bringing a child into this world no longer means that it’s about you. If this man is your ex, he’s an ex for a reason. If you want to actually try and make things work with him, then do that. But don’t get pregnant just in the hopes he may or may not come back to you just because you are pregnant.
    xo
    kristin nicole
    I found this question on Yahoo.com

  • Cheating & Pregnant

    Cheating … image by: google.com/images

    The Question:

    Dear Kristin Nicole;

    I’m so desperate for help, and I really don’t know what’s the best way to go about all of this. I’ve been married with my husband for more than 12 years and I’m 34 right now. My relationship with my husband was kind of complicated but it’s getting better and more understanding. However, our sexual relationship has been questionable always, and there was a huge gap between us. Anyhow, short story, in some point of our life I felt that I really hated him, but I never had the strength to divorce him, so I continued living with him, and in the meantime I fell in love with someone else who is still with me. It’s been almost more than a year. We love each other so much, my husband loves me so much too, and now we don’t have any problem like before, and I don’t want to leave him because he’s going to be broken, and I don’t want to divorce him. My boyfriend is married too, and has a very bad relationship with his wife, and he has a daughter. He asked me several time to marry him, but I can’t leave my husband.
    Now I’m pregnant with my boyfriend about 3 weeks. I’m sure that it is his baby because I haven’t had any intercourse with my husband for over 2 months. My boyfriend is so excited about the baby and so am I, but I’m so scared about the whole process and I feel guilty that if I decide to keep this baby I have to lie to everyone for my entire life.
    Please help me to clear my mind. I know that I’m guilty in the first place and I shouldn’t cheat on my husband, but I really need your help.
    My boyfriend doesn’t believe in abortion and he says that the baby is part of our love, and I need to think by my heart. I love to have this baby as well, but when I think of consequences I’m getting more convince that I have to have an abortion.
    I can’t lie to everyone. The baby, my husband my family and his family.
    Please help me

    ~Cheating & Pregnant
    (Revised: KN)

    My Response:

    Dear Cheating & Pregnant;

    You already know that what you are doing is wrong, and the fact that your ‘boyfriend’ also has a wife is another issue. I understand that you had a complicated marriage, but when you felt that you weren’t happy, you should have left your husband then. It’s been a year that you have been having this other relationship, and your ‘boyfriend’ is still married as well. You need to make a decision, you cannot keep having this double life, it will eventually tear you apart. I can tell you are already struggling with making a decision on what to do now that you are pregnant with your boyfriends child. Your boyfriend probably won’t leave his wife as much as you do not want to leave your husband. If you truly were in love with your husband you wouldn’t be cheating and lying to him. You cannot try to pass this baby off has your husbands child and I’m sure your boyfriend won’t allow that. You will have to face the music and be honest with your husband. I am not going to try and sugar coat this, it is most likely your husband will leave you once he finds out the truth. The truth always comes out, and it is best to be honest with him now then for him to find out about the baby. If you chose to abort the child, that is completely up to you, however, you are in this situation out of free will. You need to really think about what it is you are going to do. Either choice won’t be easy and in the end someone will get hurt, but living a lie and continuing to cheat on your husband is not healthy.

    Be honest with yourself, and with both men and decide to be with one or the other.

    xo
    kristin nicole

  • I’m pregnant and my husband doesn’t come home…

    The Question:

    Dear kristin nicole;

    I have read some on the stories and comments you gave to other women, and I’m in the same kind of boat and I don’t know what to believe or do. So here is my story please help.

    Me and my husband have been married for 9 months, still newlyweds but have lots of problems. We or I should say I did rush into due to a baby on the way and I loved him and he loved me. So we got married. It was great we were happy. He has a kid from a previous relationship and I do to, but he was great with my daughter, I mean great. That’s her daddy, and especially since her father is out of the picture. We lost the baby I was pregnant with 2 weeks after the wedding. We were both sad. We both want a baby and have been trying since then, but we argue all the time. He says he has no say so in anything the house, my daughter nothing. I just disagree on something and he doesn’t understand. The arguing has got bad over little things. So much that his son doesn’t want to come here anymore. We are both tired of it, he’s even said he wanted a divorce. So to my big problem I found out in November we where pregnant I was so excited because we had been trying and praying, but he didn’t seem too happy. We started arguing about baby names he started saying he had no say in this either, that I’m always downing him and acting different with his son, which is not true. I speak my opinion and I disagree. I do agree I am different with his son and my daughter and I’m sorry for that. For the last past two weeks its been hell fighting all the time. He was getting laid off from his job and I tried talking to him, it wasn’t good enough. He said I act as if I could care less, but I tried talk to him so two weeks ago after a fight about me not caring he left for work and hasn’t come back. His story is he has a new job and there working out of town, he will be home this day. When they day comes its something else his car broke he cant make it. I’ve accused him of cheating being with someone else and he said he’s not with anyone else that he is just working and that he is tired of me accusing him all the time. When I try to talk to him about what I feel and I love him, he avoids my questions or when I ask when are you coming home he gives me a day and it never happens. He wasn’t even here for Christmas and that made me really mad and I went off on him and told him to just come get his stuff I wanted a divorce because I cant take his lying and him not begin here especially with me three months pregnant with his baby, it hurt bad and I don’t know what to. I love him and I want us to be a family, my daughter loves him and miss I him. I don’t believe he’s working out of town. He said he was working today but he always has his son and he told me he was taking him to work with him. That’s BS because you don’t take a 5 year old to your so called new job especially when you say you are building apts. He came home Thursday wanting sex and got some more clothes said he would be back Saturday and like always he came up with an excuse. I do not know what to do. I need help… why would he just walk away after knocking me up and after me telling him we can work on this, that we have a baby on the way and that I don’t want to go down this road. He accuses me of sleeping with people but I love him to much to do that. Bills are behind because of his actions and I just need some advice. Please I don’t want to lose him.

    ~Desperate

    My Response:

    Dear Desperate;

    Sometimes men get scared, and having a child together is a big deal. He may be feeling confused since you have been arguing lately. Try sitting down with him and talking to him. Explain to him how you feel, that you love him and you don’t want to be arguing all the time. You want to make sure he is happy in your marriage. You can try telling him how you feel but if he’s not willing to try, there is nothing you can do. The fact that you are suspicious of him cheating on you and that he doesn’t show up sometimes is not a good sign. You need to try and think of you and your baby at this point, is this type of relationship you want to show your child? Is the type of man you truly want for yourself? I know it’s not easy and you are definitely in a hard position but you have to think about your unborn child now. The most important thing to do is to take care of yourself. If you have family you can stay with, try getting your bills paid and try making a life for you and your child. It sounds to me like you can do better then this guy…. If he was a real man he would stand up and try to make things work with you. If he truly loves you he will at least TRY to make it work.

    I hope I could help. I hope your New Year gets better in time.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • Married, Pregnant & now he’s cheating…

    The Question:

    Dear Kristin Nicole;

    My husband and I have been together for two years, married for one, and I have our first one on the way. At first, he was uber-excited when I showed him the ultrasound pictures, but after month four, all the happiness stopped. Now, he’s either sleeping right after he gets off work until he has to go back, or else he’s up all night texting/”playing video games” when I know he’s sneaking out of the house for God only knows what. I have reason to believe that he’s been seeing another woman, but I don’t have any money to leave him, as he comes from a rich family and all of mine has disowned me. If I left him, he would get custody because he’d be better-suited to care for the baby, but he’d never do it because he likes to sleep for (at least) sixteen hours at a time, and I doubt his little redheaded hussy would want to raise a kid that’s not hers. He doesn’t say he loves me anymore, he wants nothing to do with me if I start talking about the pregnancy… if I bring it up, he leaves the room, or starts talking about bills and how we’re financially screwed from now on. I don’t have any friends to rely on, because they’re all still in the partying stage (basically, when I stopped drinking every weekend, they stopped talking to me), and I haven’t heard from any of them in about two years. Depressed, exhausted and running out of options. Oh, and for the icing on the cake? Whenever my “loving hubby” has talked about having kids, they’d always had red hair in his dream. Please help.

    My Response:

    Dear Exhausted;

    You are in a hard situation. There a few things you can try to do. First you need try and talk with your husband to see what is going on. Tell him how you are feeling, because if you don’t communicate then he isn’t going to know how you feel and you are going to continue to feel depressed and alone through a time that should be happy for the both of you. Some men get scared when a family is on the way, but he needs to man up and be a husband a father to this child. I don’t condemn the cheating, and I understand that your situation isn’t as easy as pick and go. Although your situation is hard, personally I wouldn’t stay with a man who is cheating on me, especially when we are about to start a family, he is practically just spitting in your face (which to me is one of the most disgusting things a person can do to another). I would try to make mends with your family, family should be there for one another and unless you don’t try to mend things with them you won’t know if perhaps they will forgive you and help you out. As for your friends, those are not friends if they stopped talking to you just because you can’t go partying anymore with them, friends will be around no matter what if they were your true friends. I am not sure if you have a job, but it doesn’t matter if your husband makes more money then you do and staying with him just because he makes more money isn’t going to make you happy. If you don’t have a job, find a job that will help support you and your child if need be. You can always go to a lawyer and get a free consultation, they will explain to you your rights and what can happen if you decide to leave your husband and file for custody of your child. I don’t know where you live but some states do not allow cheating on your spouse, and you will have a big case right there if in fact he is cheating on you. I live in Miami, and in Florida it’s a “no fault state” so cheating wouldn’t help in a case like yours. You are in a hard spot, try talking to your husband first and try mending things with your family whether you stay with your husband or not, because I am sure they would love to see your baby one day. I don’t know the full story so I’m not sure the extent of why you don’t talk to your family but this is a time that you need them the most. Remember to love yourself and no matter how hard a situation may be, there is always a choice to leave. You deserve better than what your husband is doing to you right now.

    If you need to talk don’t hesitate to email me.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • I had a baby with my wife’s sister…

    The Question:

    How do I win my ex-wife back after having a baby with her sister?
    Before you judge me I would like to say that yes I was wrong. 4 years ago me and my wife were pregnant with twins, her sister came over to stay in Germany with us for 3 months because my ex-wife wanted her here. When my wife was pregnant she was cranky, tired and resisted sex and didn’t want me near her. She kept pushing me away. When her sister came about 2 weeks into her stay, by mistake we kissed, and when my wife went to work we ended up having sex a lot. We ended it but 4 weeks after we did she was pregnant with my baby too. I regret everything I’ve done because my ex-wife was so good to me. When I told her what happened she left me and returned home to her own country and I never got to meet my children which was very unfair. I waited and thought she would come back but when her nine months were up I knew she wasn’t going to return. With her sister I am seeing the child. My wife is back in Germany at the moment because her sister told me and I’ve also seen her and my twins and they have grown up so well and I can see she has brought them up well but I want to be in their lives. How do I ask her to let me at least say hi and that I’m their dad? is there anyway I could win her back? I really love this woman and we never arranged a divorce? What I did is a complete mistake but she never got a divorce. She cant hate me then if she hated me why not get a divorce?

    My Response:

    Dear Remorseful;

    First of all – You kissed her by mistake? You don’t just accidentally fall and kiss someone and you don’t accidentally have sex with someone, let alone your wife’s sister…. Second… Yes; You made a huge mistake, the ultimate mistake. Not only did you cheat on her, you cheated on her with her sister and not only did you cheat on her with her sister you had a baby with her sister. If this woman took you back, I would say you were the luckiest man in the planet. I agree that although you made your mistakes that you should at least be allowed to see the babies. You need to first sit down with your wife and apologize for all that you have done, let her see that you are truly remorseful for what you have done to her and that although your relationship may never be the same you want to be a good father to your children. She probably hasn’t gotten a divorce for a few reasons, one she can’t afford it or two she just can’t bring herself to do it yet. Just because she left doesn’t mean she doesn’t love you. You cheated on her while she was pregnant with her sister and got her sister pregnant too. I don’t know how she forgave her sister, because you were both wrong in what you did. Communication is all you have here, try and talk to her and at least be in your children’s lives, but don’t expect to get back with your wife. Do this for your children and your love for them. Good luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Pregnant at 16 how do I tell my parents?

    The Question:

    I found out a day ago that I’m preggers. I’m almost 17 and I’m scared. I have no idea how to tell my parents or what to do. HELP!?

    My Response:

    Dear Pregnant Teen;

    Be honest with your parents, lying only makes things worse, and the sooner you figure this out the sooner your relationship with your parents will grow. This is not going to be easy and your parents are going to be upset, and they have every right to be upset, you are 16 and pregnant and this is not going to be easy. You truly have to think about what you are going to do and if you believe or will consider abortion. I do not believe in abortion 100% but under certain circumstances it is necessary. You are only a child and you are going to be raising a child. A child not only involves your attention, it takes a lot of money, formula, diapers, doctor visits, insurance for your child and before that even happens you have to think about your doctor visits and how much that is going to cost. Is the father around, and is he even going to stick around? You may have to do this on your own without his help. If he is around it is not guaranteed that he will stick around after the baby is here. Waking up at all hours of the night and taking care of a child is not a game. Really think about what you want to do and go from there. Be honest with your parents, I am sure that they will help you with whatever you decide, but don’t think for one second they are going to be happy about this. You are their baby and now you are having a baby, and you have to not only think about this child’s health and well being but yours as well as your education and what you are going to be able to do to support this baby. It is a lot to take in and it isn’t easy, but these are the things you should have thought about before getting pregnant. Be honest with your parents is all the advice I can give on how to tell them, there really is no easy way…

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • My husband hurts me when he rejects me

    The Question:

    How do i tell my husband he hurts me when he rejects me?
    I’m 37 weeks pregnant and I know that sex at this point wont hurt the baby, only possibly encourage labor. The doctor has given the go-ahead and even recommended it. Four months ago my husband says that sex with me “isn’t the same”, which makes me feel so unappealing and fat that I cry almost constantly. It’s been so long and I know I have to wait at least 6 weeks after the delivery to have sex. It hurts me to think that the one man who should always be attracted to me just isn’t. I don’t know how to talk to him about these things because I don’t want to hurt him. He has always tried so hard to make me happy. I know he masturbates almost everyday and I also know he’s not thinking about me when he does, how do I confront him about this? I really need help!

    My Response:

    Dear Feeling Rejected;

    I know it’s hard but maybe your husband is just feeling a little awkward about having sex with you when you are almost ready to give birth, and even before that, it’s strange for some men to enjoy sex when they know their child is inside the mother. Some men do not know how to handle it or go about it and so it may feel like he is not attracted to you but maybe he just does not know how to proceed with the current “situation”. Talk to your husband and tell him how you feel, and tell him that you want to have SEX! Don’t be ashamed, you are not fat, you are pregnant, and once that baby comes you can get back into shape and be your self again. Don’t worry about hurting his feelings, you are the one pregnant with your emotions everywhere, if anything maybe he is scared to hurt your feelings, so tell him how you feel and remember don’t ever be ashamed to talk to your husband, I am sure he loves you very much.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Daughter pregnant, husband raping the dog, I cheated in retaliation?

    The Question:

    I came home from work and saw my husband with dog biscuits all over him and with his penis in my dog’s ***. He cheated on me with animal rape. My daughter’s pregnant apparently to a 22 year old. My hubby and I kinda encouraged our daughter to get pregnant. I cheated on my husband with an 18 year old sweetie. My hubby doesn’t know. I’m 45, my hubby’s 43, my daughter’s 13. We don’t want a divorce we love each other. My daughter doesn’t want an abortion and wants to move in with the guy. What are our options?

    My Response:

    Dear Dysfunctional;

    Is this for real? To be honest with you lets start with your husband – EWE!!! You actually want to stay with him after this? Second your Daughter – You ENCOURAGED HER?!? She’s 13??? I’m sorry seriously, is this a real question? How can anyone encourage a 13 year old to get pregnant, and then be upset that she is actually pregnant. If you don’t want your daughter to be with this 22 year old then you should have not pushed her towards him, and if you really want to you can always press charges, because any man who wants to sleep with a 13 year old is just a pedophile in my book. You need to sit down with your daughter (and although I don’t encourage abortion) she needs to know what really comes with having a baby at the age of 13. As for you cheating in “retaliation”, REALLY? & an 18 year old??? I think in all honesty that you all need counseling, and I am saying this with sincere thoughts… Your options: Regarding your marriage – Separation, Divorce, MAJOR Counseling. Regarding your Daughter: Pressing Charges on this “boyfriend”, Talking to your Daughter about the options and what it will be like to have a baby at 13, MAJOR Counseling.

    Good luck!

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com