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  • Why is BF texting another Girl?

    The Question:

    I Don’t Understand Why He Is Hiding This?
    Okay so me and my boyfriend had a huge fight over him not wanting to spend time with me and then he tells me that he’s texting another girl but they are just friends so we had another fight about that and him hiding stuff from me but surprisingly he’s not texting her because he likes her, he’s texting her to talk about us but he’s now lying to me about texting her even though it’s just about that (I texted the chick because I know who she is). I just don’t understand why he’s lying to me just about that. Any ideas?

    My Response:

    Dear Fighting;

    The fact that he is talking to someone else about your personal relationship is not good, let alone another girl. If you guys are having problems he needs to talk to you, not another girl. Just because he says he does not like this girl and he is only texting her to talk about your problems doesn’t mean he is telling the entire truth. Sometimes we seek out friends in comfort and later it can turn into something more. Talking to another girl about his relationship problems is only causing temptation where there shouldn’t be any. If you have questions, talk to your boyfriend, sit down with him and tell him how you feel. If you want things to work out, stop arguing and talk. Communication is key in any relationship.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Dating my friends daughter?

    The Question:

    I am a 42 year old man and for the past 5 months I have been secretly dating and sleeping with the 20 year old daughter of a good friend and colleague. This started up when she stayed with me for a couple of weeks last December when she was between flats while at university. We had been drinking too much wine one thing led to another and we made love. We kept promising to end it but neither of us are able to, I am falling in love with her but her father will literally kill me if he finds out.
    It’s such a mess, should I confess to her father or keep seeing his daughter in secret?

    My Response:

    Dear Truth be Told;

    You guys have a huge age difference, that is not to say that you do not have things in common or that you aren’t compatible, but you have to really think about what you want in this relationship and if she is on the same page as you are. She’s not even 21, she has barely lived her life and partied, and these are things she may want to do. Sleeping with a good friend and colleagues daughter that is so much younger then you is probably going to come back to bite you in the ass, however if you are both on the right page then hiding this from her father is only going to make things worse. If the relationships is serious then you both need to come clean. At the end of the day she is an adult and she needs to own up to this relationship whether or not her dad likes it. If it is only a sex thing then I would truly think about whether or not it is worth ruining your friendship and possible working situation. The truth eventually always comes out, and I think it is better to come clean then for him to find out another way. Good luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

    May 18, 2011

  • My boyfriend cheated on me with his ex & had a baby…

    The Question:

    My boyfriend cheated on me with his ex wife 18 months ago, should I give him another chance?

    He cheated on me with his ex wife 18 months ago and he got her pregnant and now they have another son. What should I do? Do I give him another chance? He just told me a few days ago.

    My Response:

    Dear Walked On,

    You deserve better then that, there is no reason for you to stay with a guy that not only cheated on you with his ex wife, but had a child with her and all this time he has been lying to you. Respect yourself and love yourself enough to tell him to get lost! You deserve a man who won’t lie or cheat on you. If he has been able to lie this much about not only cheating on you but having a child behind your back, what else has he been lying about? Do you really want to stay with a man that has cheating on you and had a child behind your back? Can you ever truly trust him again? Do you think he won’t cheat on you again? At the end of the day you have a hard decision to make, but this looks like a pretty easy decision to me….

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Could this be my husband cheating?


    The Question:

    I had just had my baby girl 3 weeks ago. the day home from the hospital my husbands ipone got a text message, I picked it up it said ” are you ok tonight” I asked him who it was he said he didn’t know and looked and did something with his phone, then put it down and walked away..then it went off again and it said ” No worries I will just call you tomorrow 🙂 “I asked him “what did you say or write back” he said he wrote nothing.. if that were the case why would they have written him back saying no worries they would call him tomorrow..he then said “Fine, I put a question mark.” My gut dropped I just knew it was a women.. lucky I remembered the number case he erased the phone and said it was by accident that it erased, I am guessing he didn’t reallt want me to see what he really had written back. I called the number from his phone, she answered and I asked why she was texting my husband, she got all snotty and said she was looking for Sara; that she had the wrong number.

    Its been bothering me for weeks now and I was trying so hard to believe him and move forward until yesterday, I was in the car and he went into the bank, a text came up on his phone saying: “As the days go by I thought it would be easy for me to keep my mind off you because I’ve been so busy, I was wrong.”

    I started to shake as I reconized the number from 3 weeks ago,
    when he got in the car he said NO WAY someone is playing a joke on me.. I would never cheat on my wife and kids never.. I was crying in tears a mess, I just wanted to go home; he dropped me off at home and got in his car and went somwhere, I had his phone with me..
    then comes back 25min later. 20min after that the texts come back with a diffrent tune saying things like hey sara I will see you tomorrow etc.. almost like he found a way to call her from a payphone and have her re-direct her messages to through me off. I don’t know what to do here, is this cheating? We just relocated here and he works accross the boarder this is where she is calling from so she is not from Canada. We relocated here for work and it’s been a nightmare I just want to leave. I haven’t eaten in days because of the stress.

    Please, I have no one to talk to about this no family or friends…I have 4 kids and dont know what to do please no rude comments I just couldn’t handle them right now…
    I am not an over weight women I am 120lbs 5″6 and have never said no to sex with my husband. I have never turned him away either.
    Please let me know your thoughts and thank you :”(

    p.s He tells me I am so wrong that he has no idea who this is, he has cried and told me he hates that I am feeling like this that he doesn’t want to lose his family and kids over somthing he is being accused of doing that isn’t true. He tells me he just wants me only me and has no time for anyone else.

    I am so upset I don’t know what to think here. I need advice..

    His phone is a work phone ipone 4 so I can’t see his bill and he erases most things off his phone most likely before he gets home. He has never given me a reason to not trust him for the past 10yrs but since he relocated here 5 months before we did and was living in a hotel, while I was 5hrs away with the kids trying to sell the house to move here so we would all be together. This is when all this happened, where he was working before I never ever in a million years questioned him, now I do and I hate it. I hate what this job and move has cost us there is no trust now, and before this I found out he had lunch with a girl that was a temp at his work and she was not working there anymore and he went to lunch with her 2 times, I found her number and freaked she told me he was promising her a job and he would hire her back on full time, they had lunch and talked about plastic surgery not work. He was even texting her and asking her to pick any day and he would make himself available for her even willing to meet her half way so she didn’t have to drive all that way ” for poor little old me” is what his email said, she said nothing happened, but why did he go out of his way to hide this from me? He’s 42 she’s 26 and I’m 31, I feel horrible and now I have this gut rot feeling in my stomach, I hate it. Was his intentions more then just lunch and work?

    My Response:

    Dear Stuck in Lies;

    You have two different situations under his belt…. I know he might deny it again but sit down with him and tell him how you feel, tell him to stop BSing you, that you have seen the texts and emails. He can’t deny it any longer, stick with your gut feeling, usually our gut feelings are pretty right, and I know it completely sucks but you deserve to know the truth. I hope for his sake that he is telling you the truth, but you already saw that he emailed another women and supposedly it was over a job, even if he wanted to try to get her job back, why the lunch? Now you have seen more then once a text from another women. This all sounds a little fishy to me, and I would want to know the truth myself. I normally wouldn’t say to hire a private investigator because I truly believe in trusting your spouse, but the fact that you have seen the texts more then once and also the email with another women I would say if you really don’t know if to trust what he says and you have no physical proof then you can always hire a private investigator to follow him, I don’t know your financial situation or how much a private investigator might cost, but it is definitely an option you may want to think about. Again I normally don’t go that route, I would first say to sit down with your husband and try to get the truth from him, once you talk to him then you will have to decide what your next step is, however you said that he has denied it and even cried to you that he would never cheat on you and the children, so I am not sure how much more you can keep talking to him about the same subject. It is NOT okay if he is cheating on you and I know that it is going to be hard road, especially since you have 4 children together, but you have to think about your children and yourself and how you want this relationships to be. Is it worth pretending he isn’t doing anything and living a lie, or finding the truth and making a decision you may not like? At the end of the day I think you won’t be happy until you know the truth and you know what to do from that moment on. It isn’t going to be an easy road but you are not alone, their are many women that have struggled through similar situations, I know that doesn’t make it any better but I hope you know that this is not okay and you need to be strong. Talk to your husband and then decide what you want to do from there.
    Good luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Should I tell my fiance this before we get married?

    The Question:

    My policy for abuse is that if he tries to or does hit, push, etc then I’m absolutely done, no second chances, I’m getting the marriage annulled the next day. I have just been through too many shitty, abusive relationships and I don’t want him to be ‘just another asshole with a temper’ (as my mom says it, haha) He hasn’t ever hit me on purpose before. During our worst fight ever we were talking really loudly at each other and he came towards me really quickly with his arms open. I freaked out and blocked with my arms. He was just trying to give me a hug but I’m just SO cautious about that kind of stuff. Should I sit him down and like have a serious conversation about it or just say something when something on the news about spousal abuse comes on?

    My Response:

    Dear No Abuse;

    It doesn’t look to me as if your boyfriend is abusive, you said he has never hit you on purpose before though? Does that mean he has hit you before? Then you said the worst fight you had he was going in for a hug but you got defensive. You definitely have some things you need to get over, I know it’s hard not to take your past into new relationships, but if your fiance is a good guy, and has never hit you then you need to trust that he won’t. I would definitely open up to him about your past and how you feel on the situation/subject. It is important for him to know what you have gone through and why you are sometimes defensive. I am happy that you have gotten out of abusive relationships and have realized that those type of relationships are no good for you. You seem like a strong women, I would definitely talk to your fiance about what you have gone through in the past, explain to him that you just want to make sure your relationship is in a good place that nothing like that would ever happen. Don’t make him feel like he may do that one day, he might get defensive, especially if he has never shown any type of abuse towards you, if he has shown abuse, then you should definitely sit down and talk to him, and you might have a few things to think about before getting married. Never take abuse from anyone, the person you are with needs to love and respect you. There is nothing wrong with telling your fiance what you have gone through, and this may make your relationship stronger, it is always good to share with your partner the struggles you have had to overcome in life. Good luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • My BF sucks his thumb after sex…

    Dear Kristin Nicole;

    My boyfriend and I have been together for about 6 months now. I am 22 and he is 25 years old. Whenever we have sex he rolls over and starts sucking his thumb; at first I thought he was just playing around, then it became consistent and I don’t know what to do. The sex is great so I tried to ignore it, but now it’s just weirding me out… Do I say something to him? I don’t think I can keep sleeping with him if he keeps sucking his thumb after sex, it’s a total turn off, what should I do?

    ~Stuck with a Thumb Sucker~

    My Response:

    Dear Stuck with a Thumb Sucker;

    If you really like this guy and more than just for the sex then I would ask him nicely why it is he sucks his thumb after sex. If he tries to ignore or dodge your question then perhaps there are some other issues there that you don’t want to deal with. Explain to him that you don’t really like it, but don’t tell him it weirds you out or that it’s a turn off just yet, try to ask him about it nicely and see what he says. Maybe he thinks you like it since at first you played it off thinking he was messing around, but at this point you have been together long enough for him to stop. If you are only really with him for the sex, then you have nothing to loose in asking him about his thumb sucking, and if things get even more weird then you have the option to move on or stay with someone who sucks their thumb after sex. You are young and trust me, there are plenty of men out there that don’t suck their thumb after sex.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • I had sex with my wife’s father…

    The Question:

    I had sex with my wife’s father. What should I do?

    Okay so my wife and I were visiting her parents for Easter. We all had a lot to drink and by about 2 AM my wife and her mother had passed out on the couch. I talked to my father-in-law for another half an hour before suddenly he reached over and kissed me on the cheek. I returned it except this time I kissed him on the lips, and before I knew it we were downstairs in the guest bedroom having sex.

    It was one of the strangest and yet most amazing experiences of my life. It was without question the best sex I ever had, but obviously it could prove to be problematic. My wife knew I was bisexual before we got married, but I think to her this would be crossing the line. I haven’t heard from her father since and my wife clearly knows absolutely nothing (we’ve since had sex twice).

    I feel somewhat guilty, but I know if the opportunity presented itself again I would do it again. What the hell should I do? Should I tell my wife and ask her if I can carry on with her father in a purely sexual way—-not in a relationship? I love my wife and don’t want to lose her. I’m so confused. Please help. By the way we’ve been married 4 years and have no children.

    My Response:

    Dear Bisexual;

    First – OMG – Is this for real?
    Second – Of course your wife would be upset, not only are you betraying her trust by cheating on her, but with her father no less. This is not only wrong on all levels on your part but on her fathers part as well. If you decide to come clean do not expect her to be okay with you having a sexual relationship with her father and don’t expect her to want to stay with you at the same time. What person in their right minds would think this is okay? I think a person who is bisexual is still trying to find what they really want in the world, and I think that you are still confused. You need to decide what you want to do but under no circumstances should you do this again, not only are you hurting your wife but your mother in law who probably is in denial that her husband is gay. Own up to what you have done, do not let your wife live a lie with you and end up having children only to hurt them in the end. You have only been married for 4 years and although this will be hard on your wife it is a good thing that you do not have children yet, it will be a lot easier to get out of the marriage. If you truly loved your wife you wouldn’t have cheated on her, especially with her own father. Talk to your wife about how you have been feeling and if you decide to tell her the truth, good luck, because this is one case where you are going to need it.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Should I cheat on my wife if she cheated?

    The Question:

    Should I cheat on my wife if she cheated?

    My Response:

    Dear Two Wrongs;

    Two wrongs don’t make a Right. If your wife cheated on you then there are other options you need weigh in. First have you talked about it? Communication is key to any relationship, and this is not something that should be ignored. Two if you have talked about it and you have decided to forgive her then cheating on her is not a way of forgiving, nor will it make things any better. If you feel you can’t forgive her or trust her again then the only option I can think of is Divorce. Find yourself a divorce attorney and get out of a marriage you aren’t happy in. You deserve a wife that won’t cheat on you, and you need to either fix the marriage or get out.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • What would you do if you were in love with your friend’s girlfriend?

    The-Question:

    My friend and his girlfriend have been together for 11 months and are happy and in love but I think I’m in love with her. I’d never do anything about it and even when they broke up I wouldn’t as she’d be his ex but I can’t stop thinking about her. What would you do?

    My response:

    Dear ‘friend’;

    I don’t think you are in love, I think you are infatuated with the idea of love. You see your friend happy with another girl, a girl that is easy to get along with because you like her as a friend, pretty, interesting and it’s easy to get all these mixed feelings. If you are a true friend and they are happy then leave it alone, try finding yourself another girl to date (there are plenty other girls out there other then your friends girlfriend), never go for the friends girlfriend, unless you want to risk loosing your friendship. If they break up and time has passed you can always ask your friend if he’d mind you dating her but even if he said yes things may be awkward and the girl might not feel the same way about you. You will still be risking your friendship. Some guys don’t mind if a friend dates an ex girlfriend, or at least that’s what they say to your face, but put yourself in his shoes, would you want him dating one of your ex-girlfriends? I’m not sure why you are even thinking about “if” they broke up if you say they have been together for 11 months and in love. I say just keep moving, don’t stop, and find another girl, NEVER go for your friends girl unless you don’t care about your friendship.

    Good luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    Found on Answers.Yahoo.com