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Tag: relationships

  • I live with my ex-boyfriend?

    The Question:

    We were together for 7 years and we moved in together January of this year and two weeks ago he told me that he wants his freedom, he wants to live life but loves me very much and he wants me to give him time to live? So I have to move out because it was his apartment but my name is on the lease. Right now I dont have enough money to move, I will have it by August 1. Its been really hard living with him, especially because I want him. He thinks I am moving out July 1st but I’m not. Right now we dont talk at all in the house. So my questions are: Should I wait for him? How can I make this situation better?

    My Response:

    Dear Waiting;

    If after 7 years he now wants his freedom then it isn’t worth waiting around for someone who doesn’t want to be with you. I would be honest with him and explain to him that you can’t move out until August 1st. Regardless if he was living there first, your name is on the lease, so you have every right to stay until you can move out. Before you move out you need to make sure to transfer the lease under his name. You do not want your name on anything that you are not going to be connected to. Don’t wait around for him, move on and find someone better.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • My kind of Love – Happy Anniversary

    Happy 33rd Anniversary

    Today is my Parents 33rd Anniversary, it amazes me how so many people today are divorced or separated. Whenever I tell people I have an older brother and a much younger sister they always question if it’s from the same father and mother. I always giggle with a response, YES. At first I found it strange for people to ask that question. Like what kind of question is that, of course it’s from the same parents. But as I grew older and saw so many of my friends parents divorced, I realized that it was becoming more common to have divorced parents then it was to have parents who were still married. How sad is that? I think it’s strong willed and strong love that keeps a couple together. No one is ever perfect and in the end we all argue about things in life and sometimes we get so angry with each other that we don’t want to talk, but in the end if we love each other if we just don’t give up, we can find a way to move past it and get back to where we once were.

    Love is unconditional, Love is what you make of it, Love is Love… No one can take away the love unless you let it. Live Life to the fullest and be honest with each other because in the end you only have each other.

    Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad, may you have many more years of patience, love, and happiness. Love you both!

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • My boyfriend turns me down when I want Sex…

    The Question:

    Dear Kristin Nicole;

    I am constantly asking my boyfriend for sex and I have gotten to the point that I don’t like to ask, so I try to send subtle hints his way, but it still doesn’t seem to be working. We only have sex about once a month and it’s only when he wants to have sex. We live together so it makes it even harder. I try putting on sexy lingerie and I try telling him that I need him but nothing seems to work. I have used toys and tried spicing things up in the bedroom. Do you think that maybe he’s just not attracted to me anymore? If he isn’t I rather him be honest with me so that we can end things and I can move on, but I love him and I want to stay with him, I just can’t live a life where we only have sex once a month. Please help!

    Sincerely,
    ~Need Sex

    My Response:

    Dear Need Sex;

    I would sit down with your boyfriend and tell him face to face how you feel. Stop giving off subtle hints because that obviously isn’t working. Walking around in sexy clothes and trying to spice things up also isn’t working, so there is something definitely up with your boyfriend. Has he been acting strange other than not wanting sex? Maybe he is going through some stuff at work or in his personal life that you don’t know about and he’s stressed. Sometimes when people are stressed their sex life goes on hold. Or worse case scenario he’s with someone else. I am not saying this is the case, but if he was never like this before and all of a sudden he’s just not that into you, then something is going on. Find out what is going and find out what he wants in your relationship. You deserve someone who will pay attention to your needs, especially if you are asking for it, and especially if you are prancing around half naked. I know if I was walking around in lingerie my boyfriend would be on top of me faster than I could even say “come here”. So talk to your boyfriend and find out what is going on…

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • My Best Friend slept over my Boyfriend’s house…

    The Question:

    Dear Kristin Nicole ,

    Hi, I’m 18 and I’m having trouble trusting my boyfriend. Last night I had a dinner rehearsal for my friends wedding so I couldn’t hangout with him, so he went out with a bunch of his friends and he said he would be home by 1:30 and he would call me. He called me and of course I was sleeping so he left a voice-mail around 12:30 saying that hes going out to eat with a couple of his fiends and my best-friend, and then he carried on by saying that my best friend is sleeping over his house because she doesn’t want to go home… by the way (BTW) she is 18 and my bf is 19. She also left me a text sating ” hey I’m sleeping over your bf’s house ”. I am super mad at this situation right now and don’t want to talk to either one of them. I know if I did this to my boyfriend he would brake up with me ……. I don’t think this is okay at all. What should I do?
    Sincerely,
    ~Feeling Betrayed
    My Response:

    Dear Feeling Betrayed;

    You need to talk with your boyfriend. Having your friend or any girl sleep over his house is unacceptable. There is no reason for them to be hanging out together outside of the group of friends. This is only feeding temptation. If this is supposed to be your best friend, I would talk to her too because I am pretty sure she wouldn’t want you sleeping over her boyfriends house (if she has one). Right now you have to trust both of them and hope that they are telling you the truth with why she slept over. I would keep my eyes and ears open and talk to both of them and let them know how you feel.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • Why is BF texting another Girl?

    The Question:

    I Don’t Understand Why He Is Hiding This?
    Okay so me and my boyfriend had a huge fight over him not wanting to spend time with me and then he tells me that he’s texting another girl but they are just friends so we had another fight about that and him hiding stuff from me but surprisingly he’s not texting her because he likes her, he’s texting her to talk about us but he’s now lying to me about texting her even though it’s just about that (I texted the chick because I know who she is). I just don’t understand why he’s lying to me just about that. Any ideas?

    My Response:

    Dear Fighting;

    The fact that he is talking to someone else about your personal relationship is not good, let alone another girl. If you guys are having problems he needs to talk to you, not another girl. Just because he says he does not like this girl and he is only texting her to talk about your problems doesn’t mean he is telling the entire truth. Sometimes we seek out friends in comfort and later it can turn into something more. Talking to another girl about his relationship problems is only causing temptation where there shouldn’t be any. If you have questions, talk to your boyfriend, sit down with him and tell him how you feel. If you want things to work out, stop arguing and talk. Communication is key in any relationship.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • My fiance cheated on me with my best friend…

    The Question:

    Fiance Cheated on me and now we are through. What do I do now?
    We had been together 6 years and then she cheats on me with my friend and is with him now. I feel lost, don’t quite know what to do. I loved her very much and just in shock still of what has happened, was the last possible thing i ever thought could have happened. How do i make it through the days without her, what do i do now? How do I attempt to find someone after so long with her i don’t even know where to begin. Any advice is deeply appreciated.

    My Response:

    Dear Recovering;

    It’s hard, not only did your girlfriend who you thought you were getting married to cheat on you but she cheated on you with your best friend. The first thing you need to realize is your best friend, really was never a friend if he was able to cheat with his best friend’s fiance. Second your girlfriend is not worth being sad over if she just couldn’t tell you how she felt and ended things before going onto your best friend. You got hit here with a double wammy, not only did you lose your girlfriend but you lost your best friend the same day. You deserve better, you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself and realize that it was better to have lost her before you got married, I know it doesn’t make you feel better and the pain of loosing her isn’t just going to go away, but you need to stand up and be strong. Start hanging out with other friends and get back out there. I wouldn’t recommend getting back into a relationship so bad because you are still hurting, but go out there and start dating, have some fun and in time you will see that things happen for a reason. You may not see that reason now, but I promise that one day you will turn around and remember these words and you will truly see that everything happens for a reason.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Sometimes we need to Struggle to get to where we are…

    Sometimes in life we have to go through the struggles in order to get to where we want to be.

    Do you believe in signs? I do, I believe that signs are the Universe or God showing us or trying to tell us when something just isn’t right, and I think that sometimes we just try to deny the things we don’t want our hearts to feel, but in the end we have to open our eyes and accept what the truth really is.

    I get questions from people almost every day and I wonder sometimes how people can do the things they do, to those they say they love. In life we hope for love and happiness, we hope that one day we will find that one person to love and love us back in return. We hope that when we say it will be forever, that forever won’t be an illusion of what we wanted our life to be but forever until we pass. Today we see couples who are famous get married and last less then a month, and we see couples in the famous world who have been married for years suddenly end things. Is marriage so easy to just get out of, to ignore our vows and leave what we know to find something new and better?

    I once believed that forever, meant forever, and then I opened my eyes and realized that forever didn’t exist, but that forever was an illusion of what I thought my life could be, and I closed my eyes in my pretty world and I tried to make something that was never mine work, and when I opened my eyes one day and saw that my world had fallen, I realized that I was still me, and I was bigger and better and I knew that someone and something out there would come and open a new door, find my way into a world that I was supposed to be in, and leave the world I once knew behind. As I struggled and found my way I have learned that life is never easy. Life has obstacles and lessons that we sometimes never understand and we keep moving forward and we keep faith that one day it will be our turn to shine.

    Sometimes I am still finding my way, and sometimes I look at everything that has happened to me and the people that I help and I know where life is supposed to lead me. I just haven’t gotten there yet.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    ~Random Thoughts~

  • I cheated on my bf with my ex when he was in the hospital…

    The Question:

    Dear Kristin Nicole:

    I found your answer on a question on Yahoo, and discovered your website.
    I am really lost and don’t know what to do.

    I’m/was with my boyfriend for 4 years and he was the sweetest thing that ever happened to me. He’s really special, caring and loving and deep and I always thought that I don’t deserve him. Two weeks ago he went to the hospital to get operated and I cheated on him with my ex. I don’t know what got into me, I can’t even remember how it happened, it just did. I know that it’s disgusting, to make matters worse my boyfriend hated my ex and still do. My ex is the reason I got drug and alcohol addiction, he used to beat me and kick me out of the house.
    My boyfriend risked going to jail because he defended me and got into a fight with my ex. He always asked me to not speak with my ex anymore but I always got angry and yelled at him for not trusting me. Even though I know it wasn’t a trust issue but because my ex is evil, I just refused to erase him from my life.
    So the night in question, my ex came drunk to the house (my boyfriend’s house) and asked me to let him in. I refused at first but he convinced me. We got drunk and it happened. When I woke up I kicked him out and have been feeling like a piece of shit since. Few days later my boyfriend got out of the hospital, I refused to have sex with him (just the idea of having sex with him when I cheated on him when I cheated on him with the worst person nauseated me). So for days I was faking being ill and my boyfriend was very very worried about me, he didn’t suspect anything and thought I was sick. He stayed at home taking care of me (while he was the one that needed it), didn’t let me do anything, bought me all this organic stuff that is supposed to make me feel better. I seriously thought of killing myself, but didn’t have the courage.

    Yesteday, I came clean. I sent him a text message while he was out.
    I expected him to kick me out of the house (his house) or beat me up or anything but instead he couldn’t even walk and he started to cry saying no, no. It was horrible to see, he kept saying no, no and crying as if I was stabbing him.
    I didn’t know what to, I tried to hug him but didn’t have the courage.

    Now he’s at his sister. He texted me that he couldn’t believe I could do this to him, that he would never do such thing.

    My boyfriend has a history of betrayal. His father always cheated on his mother, then he went to live with an abusive uncle whe he lost his mother at the age of 13 and all these things are what made him special. He tried to kill himself when he was 16. He’s sweet and caring, everybody loves him. He’s very intelligent and mature, he raised himself and his sister by his own. He does benevolent work. Always sweet to living things. I remember that we had a big fight because I discovered a big mouse in our appartment and he didn’t want to kill it. I was afraid so he drove me to my parents at 2 am and then got back home and patiently caught the mouse. He always called me petite fée (little fairy) and always surprises me with romantic stuff. He’s really the most amazing and beautiful thing that ever happened to me. He was the only one that had faith in me, he paid my studies, and took care of me when I was pill addict. I have a history of being selfdestructive and seeking pain but this time I really fucked things up and I really want to repair it.
    I know he still loves me, but I know that I have to make things right. He’s all the help I need, and I really want to gain him back.

    My Response:

    Dear Regrets;

    I am not going to sugar coat what you did because I think you already know that what you did was wrong. You have recognized that you have had serious issues with being addicted to drugs and alcohol and you have recognized that you push those you love away. Example #1: Your boyfriend. What you did to him his unacceptable and I can’t tell you that what you did is okay because you were drunk. No person can convince another person to let them in their house, let a lone drink and get drunk with them and sleep with them. Why you did what you did, I don’t know and now you have to live with the consequences. Your consequences unfortunately might be loosing your boyfriend. The fact that you know all the details to your boyfriends dreadful past and the fact that he has lost people and lost trust in people is sad to see that you would do what you did, but I am not going to keep telling you that what you did was bad, because I can tell that you truly feel bad for what you did. Your boyfriend has every right to feel the way he does and move out of his house for a little, the fact that he has not kicked you out is another sign of what a good person he is. He may not want to speak to you and you may have lost your chance with a decent guy but you have to sit and talk to him and even if you don’t get back together you need to ask for forgiveness, tell him how bad you feel and see where it goes from there. There is a chance that he will forgive you, but you have a lot of issues you need to take care of. You first need to realize what a bad guy your ex is and finally letting him go and getting him out of your life is the first step into moving on. You need to first learn how to love and respect yourself and know that you do deserve love and respect and from there you can learn to to accept love and respect from others. You have to learn that being in an abusive relationship is not good and that you deserve better then that. Drugs and alcohol are not your friends and you have to trust in those who will be good to you and bring good into your life. If your boyfriend does forgive you, and he decides to stay with you, you have a lot of making up to do and you need to start with forgiving yourself and starting new. It is not going to be easy to gain your boyfriends trust in you but you have to first start with saying how sorry you are and asking for forgiveness. Good luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • Should I tell my fiance this before we get married?

    The Question:

    My policy for abuse is that if he tries to or does hit, push, etc then I’m absolutely done, no second chances, I’m getting the marriage annulled the next day. I have just been through too many shitty, abusive relationships and I don’t want him to be ‘just another asshole with a temper’ (as my mom says it, haha) He hasn’t ever hit me on purpose before. During our worst fight ever we were talking really loudly at each other and he came towards me really quickly with his arms open. I freaked out and blocked with my arms. He was just trying to give me a hug but I’m just SO cautious about that kind of stuff. Should I sit him down and like have a serious conversation about it or just say something when something on the news about spousal abuse comes on?

    My Response:

    Dear No Abuse;

    It doesn’t look to me as if your boyfriend is abusive, you said he has never hit you on purpose before though? Does that mean he has hit you before? Then you said the worst fight you had he was going in for a hug but you got defensive. You definitely have some things you need to get over, I know it’s hard not to take your past into new relationships, but if your fiance is a good guy, and has never hit you then you need to trust that he won’t. I would definitely open up to him about your past and how you feel on the situation/subject. It is important for him to know what you have gone through and why you are sometimes defensive. I am happy that you have gotten out of abusive relationships and have realized that those type of relationships are no good for you. You seem like a strong women, I would definitely talk to your fiance about what you have gone through in the past, explain to him that you just want to make sure your relationship is in a good place that nothing like that would ever happen. Don’t make him feel like he may do that one day, he might get defensive, especially if he has never shown any type of abuse towards you, if he has shown abuse, then you should definitely sit down and talk to him, and you might have a few things to think about before getting married. Never take abuse from anyone, the person you are with needs to love and respect you. There is nothing wrong with telling your fiance what you have gone through, and this may make your relationship stronger, it is always good to share with your partner the struggles you have had to overcome in life. Good luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • My BF sucks his thumb after sex…

    Dear Kristin Nicole;

    My boyfriend and I have been together for about 6 months now. I am 22 and he is 25 years old. Whenever we have sex he rolls over and starts sucking his thumb; at first I thought he was just playing around, then it became consistent and I don’t know what to do. The sex is great so I tried to ignore it, but now it’s just weirding me out… Do I say something to him? I don’t think I can keep sleeping with him if he keeps sucking his thumb after sex, it’s a total turn off, what should I do?

    ~Stuck with a Thumb Sucker~

    My Response:

    Dear Stuck with a Thumb Sucker;

    If you really like this guy and more than just for the sex then I would ask him nicely why it is he sucks his thumb after sex. If he tries to ignore or dodge your question then perhaps there are some other issues there that you don’t want to deal with. Explain to him that you don’t really like it, but don’t tell him it weirds you out or that it’s a turn off just yet, try to ask him about it nicely and see what he says. Maybe he thinks you like it since at first you played it off thinking he was messing around, but at this point you have been together long enough for him to stop. If you are only really with him for the sex, then you have nothing to loose in asking him about his thumb sucking, and if things get even more weird then you have the option to move on or stay with someone who sucks their thumb after sex. You are young and trust me, there are plenty of men out there that don’t suck their thumb after sex.

    xo,
    kristin nicole