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Tag: relationships

  • In the end we all question life…

    Random Thoughts:

    In the end we all question life…

    We question what we could have done differently, we question life and the meaning, we question if we are truly happy with the choices we made in life. In the end we have to live with the choices we made in life whether or not we like them, because life is a journey none of us expect, a journey that takes you through the high mountains, the beaches, the sunsets, the storms and the unknowns.

    Life in general is scary, we are born into a world we do not know of, a world we can not control, and when you look back at the decisions we have made we sit and wonder if they were the right ones or the wrong ones.

    We learn that we cannot turn back time and no matter how much we hope to change the past or the future all we can do is walk straight into it and hope that what we are walking into, what will make us happy will be what we have worked so hard to get and we hope that all the tears and all the pains in life weren’t for nothing, and we hope that the scars caused by them will diminish and the walls built will crumble down and in a split second of wondering ‘how did I get here’ you stop and think about all the things in life that got you here, the people who tried so hard to steer you in the right direction, the hard choices you had to make in leaving or staying, and the wonder if life were different “where would I be”?

    I look back at my life and I wish I had made some different choices, but I do not regret life, I do not regret the road I chose because we cannot turn back time, we cannot regret the things we chose and the things we will choose, but we can guide ourselves and open our minds to the unknown, open our minds to things we did not think possible. We can open our hearts and minds to the wisdom the people around us convey, and we can listen and truly think about the decisions we will make. Decisions that can change your entire life in a single moment, decisions that can change your whole way of living and thinking and feeling. Open your eyes to the unknown, don’t be naive or blind or childish about the decisions you need to make in life. Life is short, and life is confusing and when the world seems to leave us alone in a single room with no room to turn to, you have to know that at the end of that room, there is always a door. A door filled with possibilities, a door filled with love and encouragement, a door filled with people that care for you, but if you choose to stay in that room, if you choose to close yourself off and believe that the world you are living in right now is real, this fairytale of illusions you have built for yourself, if you choose to believe only this, then you will choose a path that you will have to own up to for the rest of your life.

    In the end we all question life… but it’s up to you to be happy with the outcome and answers you make in life.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • Would you be upset if your Husband…

    The Question:

    I had my nephews 10th birthday tonight and we had dinner at La Porchetta, with the family… so my husband and I and our 2 kids were invited. My husband didn’t come, and blew me off; went out with his mates to a poker game! He has NEVER done this! He ALWAYS comes to family dinners etc especially if he is not working and is home etc..
    I was more ANGRY but now I am just upset 🙁
    My kids are 3 1/2 and 6 months. My husband does work hard and has different shifts at work so there is issues about how much we see each other and family time etc… he goes away for work stays over nights etc and then comes back the next day or after; so my question is would you be upset if your husband did this? or am I overreacting???
    He didn’t forget about the birthday either; I told him and he was home when I left!! He just wanted to go play cards with his mates instead…

    My Response:

    Dear Upset;

    I would sit down with your husband and communicate to him how you feel. This was a family event; and even though it is not his kid and it is your side of the family, you are married, and these kind of events are the kind that you know you have to go to. He could go any other night to play poker with his friends. I would definitely have a talk with him and tell him how you feel. You have young children and maybe he is feeling overwhelmed and needed a break, but this is no excuse! Talk to him, and find out what is really going on…

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • No anniversary sex?…

    The Question:

    No anniversary sex. Was I wrong to expect a little action from my wife?
    Yesterday was me and my wife’s 1st anniversary. We went to church as usual. I’m a Sunday school teacher so I left before her. After church I go by the store to get the last few thing so I could cook her dinner. Money is tight because I am unemployed so I couldn’t afford to take her out or anything like that. I ended up going to two stores. By the time I got home she was there sitting in the bedroom watching TV or reading a book or something. I spend several hours prepping and cooking dinner. The whole time I may have sat down for about 10 minutes. When it was ready I fixed her plate as well as the kids. We sit down to eat and just being off my feet for that short time when I stood back up my feet were killing me but I kept going. I asked my wife if she wouldn’t mind cleaning up the kitchen and she basically said no because I use too many dishes when I cook. I spent several hours cooking dinner then it took me all of 15 minutes to load the dishwasher and clean the kitchen. Nobody said she had to wash them by hand. All the while my wife has left the bedroom maybe 3 times. She was still relaxing on the bed. After I got the kids in bed and go back to the bedroom me and my wife watch a little more TV then the next thing I know is that she’s hugging her pillow snoring. Let me clear this up. Our kids are teenagers and I just made sure they had their clothes ironed for school the next day and that they turned off everything in the other part of the house. I turn off the TV and that sort of startled her and she wakes up. We’re laying there in the dark and I’m waiting to see if my wife was gonna make any kind of move. She doesn’t. I mean, it was our anniversary and she literally had done nothing all day. What was she tired for? What she tells me is, “why don’t you go on to sleep!”. I then get up and as I’m walking out she asks me what the matter is and I tell her that if she hasn’t figured if out by now then never mind.

    Did she expect me to make the first move? I thought women likes if when a man took on more duties and chores and that gets a woman in the mood? I did all that work and she pretty much rested bur once the kids were in the bed she was too tired. You hear it all the time. A man with a vacuum is a turn on. I guess the problem is this. I typically do most of the cooking anyway so maybe that was really nothing special to her that I cooked yesterday.

    Was I wrong to expect some action on our 1st year anniversary? And ladies, don’t come at me like “well maybe she wanted you to just wait on her this time!”. I do the majority of the cooking in the house anyway.

    Was I wrong to expect sex or at least a little action from my wife?

    My Response:

    Dear House Hubby;

    Let’s start off with the fact that it is your one year anniversary but you have teenage kids? Technically it may be your one year anniversary but I am assuming that you have been together for much longer than a year since you have teenage kids together. With that said, an anniversary is an anniversary, and although you do not have a job at the moment and normally cook, she needs to appreciate the fact that you do a lot around the house and for the kids. You need to sit down with your wife and tell her how you feel. Communication is key and if you do not talk to each other then nothing is going to change. She may think it is okay for you to do everything since you are not working at the moment, but the fact that you cooked, she should have helped clean up and do the dishes. Especially since it was your anniversary and all. I know it isn’t right and I think that your wife should have maybe set something up in the bedroom while you were out there being the ‘house wife’; but you also could have just tried spicing it up in the bedroom; especially after you saw she was not about to do anything. Again, I really think this should have been her move, since she didn’t do anything else the entire night, so I can understand how you are feeling. Talk to your wife, just because you are unemployed at the current moment does not mean she doesn’t have to help you around the house. On another note: Your kids are teenagers, they need to start helping you around the house. You could have had your kids clean up the kitchen so that mom and dad can enjoy their anniversary time together. Find a way to find a balance in your life and in your relationship.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • How come my Husband doesn’t divorce me even though he is living with his girlfriend?

    The Question:

    How come my Husband doesn’t divorce me even though he is living with his girlfriend?

    Me and my husband separated a year ago because he cheated on me, and he believes that I have cheated on him (I really haven’t). Now he is living with one of his ex-girlfriends and she asked him to call me & tell me that he wants a divorce. This hurt me really bad because I still love him very much. Then he secretly calls back saying that he will never divorce me and that he will always love me. What does that mean? I wonder if he still loves me and wants to work it out someday in the future… any men have similar stories or might have an idea what he may be thinking?

    My Response:

    Dear in DENIAL;

    I’m sorry if I am going to be blunt, but WAKE UP!!! He cheated on you and now he is living with an ex girlfriend, what more do you want him to do in order for you to realize that he is a looser? You deserve more then that, you deserve someone who will love you and not cheat on you, and please do not say that your husband truly loves you, because if he did he would have never cheated on you, and if he did he wouldn’t be living with his ex-girlfriend right now. Your husband is manipulating you, he has the best of both worlds; a wife at home waiting for him and a girlfriend who he gets to sleep with and live with. In other words… your husband is having his cake and eating it too…. I know….cliche metaphor but it is what it is. Don’t let him walk over you and stand up for yourself; if you want to make your marriage work tell him but honestly the trust is so broken that it is probably going to be a very hard road ahead of you to even try to fix things between the two of you. Respect yourself enough to not take such emotional abuse and Love yourself enough to know that you DESERVE BETTER!

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on <a/ href=”http://answers.yahoo.com”>Answers.Yahoo.com

  • My boyfriend has started beating me?

    The Question:
    I have been staying with my boyfriend for a year, but recently he has started to lose his temper and beat me. He is kind and loving 90 percent of the time, should I leave him because you know the beating will never stop?

    My Response:

    Dear Abused;

    I think you already know the answer here. If you even have to ask then the answer should be obvious, but just in case…. My answer would be YES Leave him, and not just because he probably won’t stop, but because this is not love! Someone who loves you won’t dare put a hand on you, no only is it disrespectful but it’s physical abuse and no person should ever have to go through this. If he has a bad temper it could only get worse, he needs help and he is the only one that is going to have to want to get the kind of help he needs, but if you stick around it can only get worse from here. Respect yourself and Love yourself enough to get out of a relationship you already know is no good for you. Find someone that will respect you and love you and won’t lead to violence just because he gets upset about something.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • If you caught your Mom cheating, would you tell your Dad?

    The Question:

    If you caught your mom cheating would you tell your dad or not tell him? If not why? If so why?
    ~ My sister caught our mom doing it with a fellow half her age… Yes she had a cell phone that takes pictures, and took a picture for proof of my mom and this guy doing it. My mom is 51 years old and my dad is 55 years old; the fellow my sister took pictures of is probably 18 and having sex with our mom… What should we do, our dad has always been there for us and my sister says he has a right to know…?
    (Revised Question – KN)

    My Response:

    Dear Stuck in the Middle;

    This is a hard situation to be put in. I would definitely confront your mother first, and give her the opportunity to talk to your dad first. If she refuses to tell him the truth, then this is a choice you and your sister are going to have to make. I think no person should cheat on another person, and the fact that your mom is cheating on your dad with a younger man, and somewhere where she can obviously get caught by her own children is wrong on all levels, she has no regard on the consequences that her actions are causing. Talk to your mom first and then go from there.

    Good luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Get Your Own Friend

    Get your own Friends

    Get your own friends
    why do you have to seek out mine?
    are you not over it?
    give up your pride…

    Tell me a story
    the one that fell apart
    the one that left you
    and died out your heart

    Get your own friends
    leave mine alone
    is it not enough that it ended,
    that you keep lurking around my door?

    Time is of essence
    we all have to move on
    leave it alone now
    leave it be
    leave, leave, leave…

    Get out of my mind
    out my head
    leaving was the best thing
    if not I’d be dead

    Get your own friends
    just leave mine alone
    find a new hobby
    find a new friend
    just stop trying to steal mine instead…

    © ~written by: kristin nicole – March 2011

    This was inspired by a dream a friend told me about. She stopped being friends with her child hood friend and she started hanging out with her friends and taking them from her, she just wanted to move on from their friendship, but every time she turned around, she was there. Hope you enjoyed the poem.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • I fantasize about my sister in law…

    The Question:

    I fantasize about my sister in law, is that a bad thing? Do women like it when men fantasize about them sexually? Is it a sin?

    My Response:

    Dear Fantasy;

    Let’s start off with the fact that you fantasize about your sister in law – One Gross! That’s your sister in law and it’s just wrong on all levels, how would you feel if your wife was fantasizing about your brother or cousin or someone related to you? NOT GOOD, I am sure…. Second question “do women like it when men fantasize about them sexually?” SURE – If I’m dating you and if I’m not I would be a little flattered, but if you were my brother in law I would be disgusted and weirded out. Third question “Is it a sin?” – Depends how religious you are, some would say it definitely is a sin and others would say No. I would definitely keep these thoughts to yourself and don’t let your wife know, if not you are looking only for trouble.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • He hasn’t called me yet?

    The Question:

    Dear kristin nicole;

    So first off I appreciate that you answer everyones question your site helps alot!!

    I met this guy at my friends sweet sixteen I thought he was cute. So when I left my friend told the guy and I came in and he started talking to me. He introduced himself but we couldn’t hear each other so he asked if I wanted to talk outside I said sure then we introduced ourselves and he asked me what grade I was in I told him and turns out he’s a senior in high school I’m a sopmore then he asked for my number and then he gave me his. When he was about to leave he hugged me and said i’ll talk to u later. It’s been a week and he hasn’t called or text. I texted him on Wednesday about 4 days after the party and he didn’t text back…..What do I think of this?
    🙁

    Sincerely,
    Lost

    My Response:

    Dear Lost;

    First thank you, I love that you look at my website and I would love to help you.

    Sometimes boys like to play games and they take a while to call, but if it’s been a week and you already text him and he did not text back I would take that has a sign that “he’s just not into you”. I know it hurts but sometimes guys act one way and then turn around and act another way. I wouldn’t waste my time, if he really liked you and he was really into you, he would have called by now and or he would have texted you back. If that is how he is going to act now you probably do not want to deal with a guy like that later. You deserve someone who is not going to play games and call you when they truly like you. It was one night of fun and conversation with a cute guy, take that and move on, find another cute boy who will call you back.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • Are the rumors true?

    The Question:

    Dear Kristin Nicole;

    I would love to take your opinion about my relationship.

    Shortly, I heard bad stories about the one that I’m attracted to. I heard that he is aggressive, and I heard that he hit his sister more than once and my brother also told me that he saw him with someone in a place which sells drugs !!! … all these are warning signs, but I’m attracted to him and in a very good relationship with his family.

    The question is : should I give him a chance and try to know him by myself or I should listen to those people because I trust him, and please notice that these problems are rarely discovered !!

    If you want more details let me know, but I don’t want to make it long !!

    Thank you in advance and I wish you the best in your relationship 😉

    ~Rumors

    My Response:

    Dear Rumors;

    It’s hard because sometimes rumors are started, but if your own brother is telling you that he saw him in a place selling drugs then this is not a good sign. Sometimes we ignore the signs because we are attracted to someone and lust sometimes takes control of seeing the truth behind the person. Maybe try to just be friends with him, and or confront him about the rumors and see what he says and how he reacts. You definitely do not want to get into a relationship where the person is abusive and possibly either taking or selling drugs. You said you have a good relationship with his family, do you talk to his sister? Perhaps you can see if the rumors behind him hitting her are true. I doubt that if she tells you they are true that more than one person is lying to you about him, and if this is the case it is probably better to cut all ties with him. Trust me, you do not want to fall into a bad relationship, if he’s a good guy then have him prove he is.

    xo,
    kristin nicole