Advice Column: My son is 20 and dating a 32 year old with 2 kids. Image found on Flickr.com
Advice Column:
My son is 20 and dating a 32 year old, divorcee with 2 kids. I don’t like this. How should I handle this?
My Response:
Dear Mom;
This is a hard situation to be in. Being a parent and not liking who your kid is dating is hard. Unfortunately your son is an adult and he can make his own decisions. I would voice to him your concerns, but I would let him know that I would support any decision he makes. You don’t want to push your son away by being negative and getting on him for dating someone so much older with children. He may figure it out on his own. I know it isn’t easy, but sometimes we have to let them make mistakes and learn from them. Raising someone else’s kids is not easy, especially when you are practically a kid yourself. Do you know if he has met the kids? Talk to him, but don’t attack him with what you don’t like. You have to have a limit as to what to say, if he starts telling you that it’s his life, leave it alone and try talking to him another time. Good luck.
Advice Column: I want to sleep with my boyfriends BF. Image found on Flickr.com
Advice Column: I want to sleep with my boyfriend’s BF. What should I do?
Dear Kristin Nicole;
I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years now. I love him, I don’t want to break up with him, but I have always had a physical attraction to his best friend. I actually met his best friend first, and we flirted for a while but nothing happened. I then met my now boyfriend and we hit it off. I still flirt with his best friend all the time, and he flirts back. One time when my boyfriend wasn’t looking he grabbed my ass and told me how hot I looked. It turned me on, knowing my boyfriend was in the other room. Another time I was wearing a skirt and we were all out to dinner, under the table he touched me. It was exciting and I just wanted to take him right there and kiss him. I don’t want to hurt my boyfriend but I can’t help my sexual feelings for his best friend. Should I just sleep with him and get it out of my system? Do I leave it alone? Help.
~ Attracted to my boyfriend’s Best Friend
My Response:
Dear Attracted to the boyfriend’s Best Friend;
It is never a good idea to cheat on your boyfriend, let a lone with his best friend. If you are having feelings for his best friend and his best friend has made moves on you, then you need to break up with your boyfriend. If you really loved him, you wouldn’t have allowed his best friend to touch you while out to dinner. I don’t think you should ever sleep with a boyfriend’s best friend or an ex’s best friend. But it is ultimately your choice. I would break up with your boyfriend and talk to the best friend. This may just be a physical attraction and you may lose something that was more special. But you never know, maybe this will turn into much more. On another note: If he was really a good person or friend, he wouldn’t be hitting on or touching his best friend’s girlfriend. I don’t care who met who first, it’s just wrong.
Look deep into your relationship, if you were really in love, you wouldn’t be messing around with his best friend. If the best friend really cared about his friend, he wouldn’t be messing around with his girlfriend. You say you don’t want to hurt your boyfriend but if you sleep with his best friend you are only going to hurt him. There really isn’t any way around this.
Advice Column: Why don’t I want to be in a relationship? Image found on flickr.com
The Question:
Why don’t I want to be in a relationship?
Theres this guy on Facebook; I asked him out and he said yes, and now I feel like I’m not good enough for him. Many people told me that no one will ever like me. I feel like it really effected me some how. I’m always pushing people away; like friends and family . What should I do?
(Edited)
My Response:
Dear pushing away;
I don’t know who you are talking to or what type of friends you are hanging out with, but it’s not very nice of them to tell you that you will never meet anyone. You obviously have, and you actually had the confidence to ask him out and he said yes. So stop worrying about what others have told you and gain that confidence back. Sometimes we push people away because we are scared to loose them, so it feels easier to push them away before they get too close. But honestly, this doesn’t fix anything. It doesn’t stop from feeling whatever it is you’re going to feel. Life is a journey and there are lessons to be learned, but it makes us who we are. Go out with this guy and take a chance.
Advice Column: My ex cheated on me. Image found on flickr.com
My Question:
My ex cheated on me, is there something wrong with me?
I had a happy relationship with a guy and he cheated on me. Is there something wrong with me? Is it my fault?
(Edited)
My Response:
Dear Cheated On;
You can’t blame yourself for someone else’s actions. Some men don’t know what they have at home and unfortunately cheating is the ultimate betrayal. There is definitely nothing wrong with you. You may not see the reasons behind his actions and it may hurt a lot now, but I promise it will get better. Time heals all wounds. Move on, go out with your friends and start meeting new people. Go out on dates and find a guy that will appreciate you more than your ex did.
Advice Column: He’s making me unhappy. Image found on flickr.com
The Question:
He’s making me unhappy. I need relationship advice.
Alright so me and my boyfriend have been together for a little over a year. We broke up back in May but then got back together. Ever since we got back together, things have changed dramatically. I can’t trust him with a certain friend because they did drugs together behind my back. He says he won’t do it anymore and I can’t trust that. I’m always the first one to text him, he can never text me first. I cry all the time because he yells in my face when he gets frustrated with me. I tell him my feelings and its like he doesn’t listen. I’m not allowed to state my opinions about his friends but yet he comments on my friends all the time. He ditches me to go hang out with his friends, usually on the weekends. He makes me nervous and anxious when around him. He claims all he tries to do is make me happy, but yet he makes me miserable every chance he gets. He’ll stop answering my texts for a night, then give no explanation for it the next day. Advice please?
My Response:
Dear Unhappy;
It sounds to me like you already know deep down what you need to do. You broke up once for a reason, and you obviously don’t trust him enough to be happy with his decisions. Being with him is making you more miserable so why would you stay with him? I know it’s not easy to leave a relationship when you care about the person, but it’s not healthy to stay in a relationship that you are clearly unhappy in. If you feel that you need to talk to him, then talk. Let him know how you feel. If he doesn’t change then move on. You deserve better.
Advice Column: What does he want? Photo on flickr.com
The Question:
What does he want? I don’t understand him at all.
My boyfriend and I dated on and off for 3 years. We’ve been broken up for 7 months now, but even after our breakup he would occasionally talk to me, just to ask how I’m doing, which I think was nice of him. He invited me over for dinner 2 months ago which was the last time I saw him. Ever since that night I haven’t heard back from him. I texted him 2 weeks ago saying ” long time no talk how are you?” But he never replied back to me, so I thought there was no point in trying anymore. I was randomly checking my Facebook last week and apparently he messaged me saying “how are you? “Miss you” I was shocked! We made some small talk and the last thing I sent to him was a smiley face. He hasn’t replied back to me since monday and I don’t think he will since its only a smiley face, but then why bother messaging me in the first place right? I just don’t understand why he did that? Problem is I still do care/love him.
(Edited)
My Response:
Sometimes when breakups happen, it’s better to stop talking to each other all together. You had an on and off relationship for three years. That’s a long time and that’s not something that is easy to get over. I am not sure why you guys broke up to begin with but it must have been for a reason, if not you would still be together. Texting or messaging each other and hanging out can only make things more confusing. If you are confused then maybe you need to sit down with him and talk to him about what is going on between the two of you. If things are over, he shouldn’t be messaging you that he misses you, that can confuse a person as to what is going on. If things are completely over then let things go, stop messaging him and move on.
Advice Column: Half naked pictures of my boyfriends ex on his phone. Image found on flickr.com
The Question:
I found half naked pictures of my boyfriends ex on his phone. Please help.
My boyfriend and I have been together off and on for 10 years. We have been going through a lot of things lately like loosing our house, the death of our 15 year old dog, and family issues. We have been fighting quite a bit. The other day he got a new phone and wanted me to install a new sim card (holds your photos) in his phone. When I went in to the picture area I noticed a half naked photo of a girl he use to date. There were two of them from a couple of months ago. During that time I yelled at him because I found out he was snap chatting her (sending pictures back and forth in an app.) He told me that they were just saying hi and catching up. I decided to let that go. But now I find out that when they were talking a couple of months ago, that this is when she actually sent him those pictures. I called him and packed some of my things and just left our house. He said that he has never cheated on me and never will. He knows he was in the wrong but he deleted the pictures and he didn’t know they were in his phone anymore. I personally think that what he did is cheating, but he doesn’t think it is. He said he did not cheat and I just do not know what to do. What should I do?
(Edited)
My Response:
This is a hard situation to be in. Your boyfriend may have not physically cheated on you but this is definitely a form of cheating; it’s emotional cheating. You should sit down with him and talk to him, tell him how you feel and tell him he has one chance to be completely honest with you. In the end it will be your decision as to whether or not you trust him and want to stay with him. Regardless of what happened, this will still hurt and you have to either forgive him and move on, or move on completely.
Advice Column: My boyfriend is bisexual. Image found on flickr.com
The Question:
My boyfriend is bisexual.
For starters we have been together about 6 years, I was 13 and he was 14 and we are now 19 and 20. We were talking about getting an apartment and moving in together, we found one we both like and we signed the lease. About 3 weeks after moving in he told me he kissed his best friend which is a guy, he said he is bisexual and he has said that he’s been bisexual since we started dating, but I’m starting to wonder if he is gay more than bisexual.
On top of that he cheated on me so I feel hurt and it being his best friend I don’t feel I have the right to make them stop talking. But I think he shouldn’t talk to him considering he should be thinking about my feelings in this situation, not his own since he is the one who did the damage. It’s been about a month and his best friend showed up at the house 3 days ago, I answered the door and I was supposed to be at work but he looked at me and literally ran away… like RAN. Made me very worried he was doing something he wasn’t supposed to be doing or maybe he just wanted to hang out with his best friend. I don’t know what to do to. Should I be with him or not. All my friends just tell me **** him move on but they don’t realize that I’ve been with this guy since I can ever remember. I’m really looking for someone with similar problems or just good advice. Should I stay or should I go? What about his friend and everything that has happend? I’m lost and completely destroyed over it, please help.
(Edited)
My Response:
In any relationship you are in, the other person should never cheat, that is one of the biggest betrayals a person can do to another. You have to first think about what he did and think about being with a man that lied to you. Second, he’s obviously confused by saying he’s bisexual. You have been with him so long that maybe he felt embarrassed and is still confused about his sexuality. He might not be bisexual and he may be gay but maybe he doesn’t know how to come out and talk to you about it.
I think you really need to sit down and talk to him, communication is key in any relationship. Unfortunately you were young when you were first together and you are still very young. I know it’s hard to think about your life without him, but do you want to be with a man who cheated on you, and is confused about his sexuality? If his best friend showed up at your house when you weren’t supposed to be there and then ran away, that should tell you something. That definitely feels a little fishy, and I would confront him about it. Is this the type of man you really want to spend the rest of your life with? These are the questions you need to ask yourself. You deserve better, and if he really loves you he will be honest with himself and with you. It’s not going to be easy, if this relationship ends it’s all you have ever known, but I promise that things in time will get easier. Everything in life happens for a reason, even if we don’t understand them in the moment.
Advice Column: My friend is bisexual. Image found on flickr.com
The Question:
My friend is Bisexual, what should I say to her?
My friend told me and a load of other friends that she was bisexual over bbm (Basically a bc) [sic]. I’m going to see her at school tomorrow and she’s probably going to want to talk about it, but I have no idea how to respond.
I’ve only ever been in 2 relationships and I get pretty awkward when people talk about stuff like that, what could I say to her when she mentions it?
My Response:
Dear Friend;
If she’s a good friend of yours, don’t worry about it too much. She probably just wanted to be honest with her friends and a little support is probably all she’s looking for. It can’t be easy to come out to your friends, so just try to be there for her. To be honest with you, there really isn’t much to say, if you accept her the way she is, just let her know that you respect and support her no matter who she likes. She may be confused and just wants support from her friends, the best thing you can do is be there for her. Support her and listen to her, don’t stress about what to say or do. Just be there for her.
Advice Column: Cheated on my girlfriend. Image found on Flickr.com
Advice Column: Cheated on my girlfriend and now I need help.
My girlfriend and I haven’t even been together for a month and I did something stupid. I wasn’t drunk or anything, it just happened and now I need help. I don’t want to lose her.
(Edited)
My Response:
Dear Cheater;
You have put yourself in a hard position. (No pun intended). You have choices in life; one you can tell her the truth. Be honest and hope that she forgives you. Know this is highly unlikely. If you really cared about your new girlfriend you wouldn’t have cheated on her. I don’t know how bad the circumstances are but cheating is cheating in any form you put it and it’s completely wrong. I’m guessing you already know this since you are asking for advice. There is no way to truly help you in this situation, you either tell her the truth and hope she forgives you, or you hide it from her in hopes she doesn’t find out. The problem with hiding the truth is that the truth always seems to find it’s way out. Good luck.
