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Tag: Sex

  • Advice Column: Wife wants to sleep with another woman

    Advice Column: Wife wants to sleep with another woman. Image found on google.com/images

    Advice Column: Wife wants to sleep with another woman

    Dear Kristin Nicole

    My wife told me that she has been having feelings for a co-worker of hers, at first I was conflicted because I thought she meant a guy but then she told me that it was another woman. I’m still conflicted with this because we have known each other for 10 years and she has never gave off that she likes other women. She told me that this other woman wants to sleep with her and she wouldn’t mind if I watched, but I don’t know what to think about this. Most men would love for their wives to sleep with another woman and be able to watch, but if she ends up wanting to sleep with other woman all the time, what do I do? She says I can’t join them, I can only watch. Do I let her sleep with this other woman or not?
    ~Husband

    (Edited)

    My Response:

    Dear Husband;

    I think you are right, I think most men would be thrilled to watch their wife or girlfriend be with another woman, but I understand your concern in regards to her wanting to do this more than once. Talk to your wife and ask her what has brought this on? Is this just a one time thing to get out of her system, out of curiosity? You need to think about this and you need to really be sure that you will be okay with your wife sleeping with another woman. Perhaps your wife is in the closet and isn’t sure which side of the bed she really wants to sleep on. This is a tough decision and you need to truly be okay with what your wife is asking. Communicate with your wife your concerns and make it clear that if you are okay with this, it can only happen once. Personally, I don’t think a man or woman should want to sleep with any other person and I think this is something she should have gotten out of her system before you got married but the fact that you have known her for so long and she has never done anything like this makes it seem like she is either bored or has always been curious of the same sex. Talk to your wife and make the decision together.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • Advice Column: Husband wants to be a swinger

    Advice Column: Husband wants to be a swinger. Image found on google.com/images

    Advice Column: Husband wants to be a swinger

    Dear Kristin Nicole

    My husband asked me the other day if I was willing to go to a swingers club with him. I don’t know what to think of this. We have been married for only 2 years. Is he bored of me already that he wants to sleep with other people? I asked him why he would want to go to a swingers club and he said he just wanted to spice things up for us. I thought we had pretty good sex, so I am not sure what I can do. I don’t feel comfortable sleeping with other people or my husband sleeping with other people but I’m scared that if I don’t go he will cheat on me and leave me. Do I go so that I don’t lose him? Or do I tell him no, and hope he doesn’t leave me.
    ~Swinger

    (Edited)

    My Response:

    Dear Swinger;

    If you want my personal opinion then I would say NO…. I don’t think that in a marriage people should sleep with other people. If you are married, you should be committed and happy to be with just that one person. How long have you known your husband? Has he always been a little freaky or ever indicated that he wanted to be a swinger? If this is something new that he suddenly brought up then you need to really sit down with your husband and tell him how you feel. If he is willing to end your marriage just because you don’t believe swinging is the answer to better sex, then maybe you need to truly think about what kind of man you married. Do you want to be with a man that wants to sleep with other women and that is willing for his wife to sleep with other men? Tell your husband that you are willing to try other things in the bedroom and spice it up in other ways but if you don’t feel comfortable going to a swingers club then you need to speak up. Giving in and going just because your husband wants to might end up badly in the end. You may end up resenting him for making you go. Go with your gut feeling and talk to your husband. If he loves you I am sure he will be okay with whatever decision you make.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    (2011)

  • Advice Column: Affair with a married man

    Advice Column: Affair with a married man – Image found on google.com/images

    Advice Column: Affair with a married man

    I’m a 17 year old girl, who recently started talking to a 23 year old guy from across the country. He told me straight up that he has two baby boys, which didn’t bother me because we weren’t anything serious. Well we texted all the time and talked on the phone, but when he oddly kept refusing to add me on Facebook I demanded to know why. He admitted to being in a loveless, miserable marriage. They’ve been married for four years and he’s slept with a few other women. He suspects her of cheating on him while he was stationed in Korea and doesn’t think that his oldest son is really his. I’m a very understanding person and continued talking to him despite his personal life. But now it’s at the point where he says he has too big of a heart to leave his wife and kids, and I don’t know what to do. I like him but knowing he sits out in his car every night after work to call me while his wife is inside sleeping just doesn’t feel right. It’s too much! He’s an amazing guy and although I don’t think what he’s doing is right, I also feel like I shouldn’t play along. It just kills me because I know how unhappy and utterly miserable he is with her. What should I do?
    ~17

    My Response:

    Dear 17;

    I think you already know the answer to your question and you just need for someone else to confirm what you have already been thinking and feeling. You stated; “and though I don’t think what he’s doing is right, I also feel like I shouldn’t play along.” Do you need any other answer besides that one? The guy can’t be too good of a guy if he’s cheating on his wife constantly and lying to her. He doesn’t live close to you and all you have is a phone relationship. You are much too young to be worrying about a guy with so many problems. You need to be having fun and start dating guys more your age. Enjoy your life and stop worrying about a guy who is cheating on his wife and his family with other women and sneaking off at night to talk to you. Close the door to this relationship and move on.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com (2011)

  • Advice Column: I want a sex toy

    Advice Column: I want a sex toy. Image found on google.com/images

    Advice Column: I want a sex toy

    Dear Kristin Nicole;

    My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over a year and I want to spice it up in the bedroom by buying a sex toy but I am not sure if my boyfriend will really go for it. In the past when friends have been talking about it, he has commented that a woman doesn’t need a sex toy if the man is doing his job right. It’s not because he can’t satisfy me but I think it would be fun to spice things up a bit, plus it doesn’t hurt to have that fun hanging around when my boyfriend isn’t home. Should I buy one and surprise him or talk to him about it first?
    ~Sex Toy

    My Response:

    Dear Sex Toy;

    There is nothing wrong with spicing it up in the bedroom and I think that you have been with your boyfriend long enough for him to know how you are in the bedroom. Talk to your boyfriend and tell him that you want to spice things up in the bedroom and you think a toy would be a lot of fun. If he is hesitant and starts saying he should be enough for you, explain to him that he is enough for you and that the toy can just add some more fun to the bedroom. If that doesn’t work then you can either forget about it or take the chance and surprise him in the bedroom with one. If that doesn’t work, keep the toy around for when he’s not home. If he really loves you, there shouldn’t be a problem with him wanting to spice things up a bit. Have fun and get a drink in him before bringing it out, this way he’ll be a little more relaxed. Good luck!

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    (2011)

  • Advice Column: Bad kisser but good in bed

    Advice Column: Bad kisser but good in bedDear Kristin Nicole;

    My boyfriend “Jason” and I, have been together for over a year and most of that we were long distance. As in every relationship, he was amazing at the beginning, and he still is as a boyfriend – he treats me well, he never lets me pay, he gives me compliments every single day and doesn’t complain about me at all, but there are certain things that make me wonder whether I want to be with him long-term. He doesn’t have a higher education which is fine with me, but he still doesn’t have a clue what he wants to do in the future. He has a part-time job and lives with his parents (he will be 24 soon). I gave him a few ideas what he could do and he liked those jobs, but he would have to undertake some training which he isn’t very keen on doing. I feel like he thinks he is still a teenager and has his money just for fun (yes, after 7 years out of high-school he hasn’t saved much). Also, although he treats me well, he isn’t the nicest person, he shouts at his parents, calls him mum ‘bitch’, tweets random people to ‘fuck off’, simply he is a bit aggressive. Lastly, we doesn’t share the same sense of humor and he is a bad kisser. Good in bed, but a bad kisser.

    I don’t want to leave him because I don’t want to hurt him and he gives me security, but I am young, I shouldn’t worry about finding another boyfriend.

    Thanks for your time and help 🙂
    ~”Katie”

    Names have been changed for privacy purposes. 

    My Response:

    Dear Katie;

    It sounds to me like you are just settling to be with this guy. He’s turning 24 soon and it sounds like he has a lot of growing up to do. You pretty much summed up reasons why not to be with him, can you think of any reasons why you should be with him? You have to think about your future, do you see yourself with a man like this? Not having an education isn’t the worst thing, and like you said it isn’t a big deal, but the fact that he doesn’t want to try and work is a totally different situation. He needs to figure out what he wants to do in life, what career, and what path he plans on taking, because if everything in life is a negative now, imagine how it will be later down the road.

    You stated; “lastly we don’t share the same sense of humor and he is a bad kisser. Good in bed, but a bad kisser.” There are so many other people out there who you will have things in common with. Being with someone and sharing things you both like is a big thing to have in a relationship. If you feel that you don’t share the same humor or personality, that can be a problem. As for being a bad kisser, you can always try to train him and tell him how you like it. You are young and you have so much time to find someone that you are more compatible with. Don’t waste time on a boy (and I say boy because he hasn’t grown up yet); when there is probably something better waiting for you out there. If you truly love him, truly madly, deeply can see yourself spending the rest of your life with him, then sit with him and tell him how you feel, try to get him motivated into changing his life around. Good luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

     

  • Advice Column: Sexual Relationship with…

    Advice Column: Sexual Relationship with… – Image found on Google.com/Images

    Advice Column: Sexual Relationship with….

    My husband left me because he said he needed space and time for himself and wants to be free. I pretended to let him go because when we were together I suffocated him by being clingy and needy. We decided to remain ‘Friends with Benefits’ and act like before except we don’t live together anymore. [sic].

    I have two conflicting emotions on this:

    1. I don’t want to lose him completely and I’m happy he is still attracted to me and 2. It kills me that he doesn’t stay over. He said; “at least not yet because we have to get used to our ‘NEW’ set-up,” but it kills me more that I don’t have a husband anymore. He is having fun being free and all, while I cannot stop thinking about what it could’ve been for us. What should I do?

    My Response:

    Dear Friends with Benefits;

    Your husband left because he needed space, yet he still comes back just to have sex. He is having his cake and eating it too (like that the saying goes). You need to stop and communicate with your husband, either he is fully committed to this marriage or he is not, but he can’t keep coming around just to sleep with you and going back to his own place whenever he wants to. Do you know what he is doing when he’s not with you? Have you spoken about your relationship at all since the split? Is he dating other women? These are all questions you should be asking. Don’t let him just use you for sex, even if you enjoy it. If what you want is your husband back and you have realized you were clingy before and he doesn’t like that then you both need to work on your issues but it doesn’t mean that he needs to move out in order to fix things. In a marriage there is no break, there is no get my own place and there is no “Friends with Benefits”. You are MARRIED, you are his WIFE, not his Friend! Talk to your husband and tell him how you feel. Get your marriage back on track and stop acting as if you were just dating.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com (2011)

  • Advice Column: Cheated on several times

    Advice Column: Cheated on several times. Image found on google.com/images

    Advice Column: Cheated on several times

    Dear Kristin Nicole;

    I found out my boyfriend cheated on me while we were in a long distance relationship. He finally moved to my home town but I found out that while he was gone he slept with other women. He recently had to go back home to take care of some family business and while he was gone I hooked up with a friend of mine. I love my boyfriend but a part of me can’t get over the fact that he cheated on me. I know two wrongs don’t make a right but I felt hurt and betrayed and sleeping with my friend almost made me feel better. I don’t know if I should come clean or tell my boyfriend. I don’t know if I can ever trust my boyfriend again and I am still so angry with him. The friend I slept with has been trying to get with me and he tells me all the time how my boyfriend is a loser and how I deserve better. I am a little confused now. Should I stay with my boyfriend or leave him and try to see if my friendship with this guy can be more than just friends?

    Sincerely,
    Confused~

    My Response:

    Dear Confused;

    Let’s start off with the fact that your boyfriend cheated on you while you were in a long distance relationship. As soon as you found this out, you should have hit the highway. Do you want to be with a man who has cheated on you with not one but several other women? Second, you are right, two wrongs don’t make a right, and although I can see why you sought comfort in someone who is always telling you that you deserve better, you don’t want your friend to be a rebound guy. If you feel you can’t trust your boyfriend then end things. Send him packing back to where he came from. Take time for you and try to stay friends with your guy friend and go from there. If it’s meant to be, things will work out, if not you will hopefully still have a friend after all this. Don’t ever think you need to stay with someone who has cheated on you. You deserve better. Go find yourself a real man!

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    (2011)

  • Advice Column: Why is he so bad at sex?

    Advice Column: Why is he so bad at sex? Image found on google.com/images

    Advice Column: Why is he so bad at sex?

    He is so bad at sex! He lays in bed and says give me a BJ! I said okay, how would you like it, and he is very non descriptive. [sic]. He said with your tongue; you know go up and down. I tried but he seemed real frigid and unsatisfied to be honest. During sex he cums within minutes and asks if I want it again. He doesn’t give me kisses and he doesn’t ask me if I am enjoying it. I find that I am demanding with him with what I need and he often just denies what I demand of him.

    He pumps it into me like a rabbit man on steroids. [sic]. This is sad and true. How do I freaken [sic] communicate to him?

    (Edited)

    My Response:

    Dear Unsatisfied;

    This is a Simple question. Tell him how you feel! Communication is not that hard, tell him you want more attention, you want him to be more detailed in how he likes things and if he doesn’t like it a certain way, to also let you know. It is important to be open with your partner and if he can’t do that with you then maybe it’s time to go your separate ways. Don’t worry about always asking him how he likes it. Do your thing and be confident! If he can’t satisfy you then maybe you need to find yourself a man that can. Find someone that can open up to you, rather than just sit there and tell you to blow him. We all deserve better then that. It is important to be attentive to your partner and get some in return.

    Good luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com (2011)

  • Advice Column: My husband’s cheated

    Advice Column: My husband’s cheated. Image found on google.com/images

    Advice Column: My husband’s cheated…

    The Question:

    I’m getting confused about my husband…

    My husband has started being secretive about things, hiding passwords and such. I recently was able to see his Facebook page and my thoughts were true, [sic] he’s on there chatting with other women and giving his number out. When I confronted him with this, he took me off his friends page so I couldn’t even see what he is doing. He cheated once before so the trust isn’t strong between us. Also a young girl that really isn’t my friend told me she has been friends with him and that he is willing to be more than friends. He is asking for her number and has yet to come out and say he is married. I’m getting to the point where I don’t want him around and I have to be almost drunk to have sex with him because its hard to want someone who clearly doesn’t want you. I’m going into a state of depression and I know it wont be good for my kids to see me like this. I have asked him to leave many time but he claims he wont because there is nothing wrong with flirting. What do I do?

    (Edited)

    My Response:

    Dear Open Your Eyes;

    Let’s start with the fact that the trust is already gone because he has already cheated on you once. That should have been the first sign to get out! If your husband took you off his friends list on his Facebook, I would definitely think something is going on. You already saw his Facebook and got proof that he is talking to other women and giving his number out (although there is no proof that he has physically cheated on you, this is still a form of emotional cheating), you also said that another woman told you that he would be more than friends with her and you were never even mentioned as his wife. What more do you want?

    Do you need to actually catch him cheating on you again, to finally realize that this guy is a looser and that he really does not love you? I’m sorry and I don’t mean to be harsh, but you need to wake up and realize that you can do so much better then this guy. You said it yourself “I have to be almost drunk to have sex with him because it’s hard to want someone who clearly doesn’t want you.” You already know what you need to do and although you said he won’t leave even after you asked him, you need to tell him that this ISN’T HIS CHOICE to make.

    He needs to get out of your house, or you will leave somewhere else with the kids. I don’t know if you have family or friends that you can talk to, but if you do you need to see if you can stay with them. Tell him you want his stuff out of the house by a certain date and you will not return until it is done. You have kids with this man, and it is not good to be depressed and for them to see what their father is doing to you. He needs to grow up and commit. He obviously was not ready for that the first time he cheated on you. And like I said earlier that should have been a clear sign to get out! I know it’s easier said than done but you need to get him out of your home and you need to pull your life back together with your kids. Stay strong and remember that no man should ever treat a woman the way your husband has treated you. There is no excuse to cheat or take you off his Facebook or lie to your face about talking to other women. If he’s lying to your face about something you saw with your own eyes this should make you wonder, what else he is lying about. Stay strong and move on with your life. You deserve a real man to love you and be with you. Good luck!

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Advice Column: Sleep with my professor?

    Advice Column: Sleep with my professor? Image found on google.com/images

    Advice Column: Sleep  with my professor?

    Dear Kristin Nicole;

    I am a junior in college and my professor is really young. he is 33 years old and I am 22 and every time I see him I get all tingly down stairs. After class we have met a few times to go over some school work. We flirt a little but nothing as ever happened. I don’ know if to make the first move or see if he finally make a move. This semester finishes in August and I didn’t know if to wait until the semester finishes or just to go for it now. The excitement of dating my professor and having sex with him on his desk gets me excited just thinking about it. Should I just make the first move or wait?
    ~Professor Crush

    My Response:

    Dear Professor Crush;

    Although it might be exciting to sleep with your professor, I am sure that there are rules about dating your professor. With that said there is nothing wrong with some harmless flirting and letting him know you like him. You want to make sure he really is flirting with you and not just being nice. Sometimes we can take niceness the wrong way. August is around the corner so you might as well wait and see what happens afterwards. You might just like him for the thrill of actually sleeping with your professor. If this is the case, then move on and start enjoying your last few years in college. Go out and find some guys your age and a guy who isn’t off limits. Good luck

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    (2011)