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Tag: Sex

  • My girlfriend left me after 5 years…

    The Question:

    Dear Kristin Nicole;

    My girlfriend of 5 years just picked up and left. I love her but I don’t understand her. She wants to get married and I am not ready for such a commitment. I do want to spend the rest of my life with her, but I don’t know that I want to marry her. My parents were divorced, there parents were divorced and I don’t see why you need to get married in order to start your life together. How do I get her back, how do I convince her that I love her but I don’t know if I’ll ever want to get married? Please Help…

    ~Don’t Want to Get Married

    My Response:

    Dear Don’t Want to Get Married;

    I think your girlfriend has every right to leave you. You have been together for 5 years and you are telling her that you aren’t sure when you want to get married. Women want to grow and have a marriage and family and if you aren’t that guy then just let her go. Knowing that she wants to get married, you have a choice to make, either overcome your fear of marriage and get the girl you love and want to spend your life with back, or let her go and find someone who doesn’t want to get married. There are still women out there who don’t want to get married and living in a girlfriend/boyfriend status is fine with them, maybe this is the type of woman you need to look for. If you really love your girlfriend and you want to spend the rest of your life with her, then what is the big deal of not wanting to get married? Sure some marriages fail, but you won’t know until you try, besides just because your parents didn’t last doesn’t mean you won’t last with your girlfriend. Do what you feel in your heart, but don’t hold on to her if you know what she wants is marriage and a family and it isn’t something you want. If you can’t picture your life without her, then perhaps marriage isn’t as bad as you think it is….

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • Is it weird to be 36 and a virgin?

    The Question:

    I am just waiting for the right guy. A handsome, tall, carefree responsible man with no kids. A loyal, good christian man with no bad habits. Is that too much to ask?

    I don’t want to be a slut and just have sex with anybody. I want it to be special…Is it weird to be 36 and a virgin?

    My Response:

    Dear 36 Year Old Virgin;

    I think that at your age it is going to be hard to find a man that has no kids. You don’t need to be a slut to have fun and be open. At your age you may not want to be so picky on that “perfect guy”. No guy is perfect and until you can realize that the imperfect might be perfect for you, you might never find the right guy. You need to be more open minded, you might have to find a guy that may have kids already or has slept around, because to find a man that is also a virgin might be a bit hard in today’s world. There is nothing wrong with wanting a loyal, good Christian man, it just might not be exactly what you have been waiting for. To some it is nice to see that you have waited for the right person to give your self to, to others it is definitely weird that you are 36 and still a Virgin. That is just how our society see’s things, especially in today’s’ world. Life is short and you shouldn’t hold back waiting for that right person to come along, because you never know if Tomorrow will ever come.
    Good luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • I had a baby with my wife’s sister…

    The Question:

    How do I win my ex-wife back after having a baby with her sister?
    Before you judge me I would like to say that yes I was wrong. 4 years ago me and my wife were pregnant with twins, her sister came over to stay in Germany with us for 3 months because my ex-wife wanted her here. When my wife was pregnant she was cranky, tired and resisted sex and didn’t want me near her. She kept pushing me away. When her sister came about 2 weeks into her stay, by mistake we kissed, and when my wife went to work we ended up having sex a lot. We ended it but 4 weeks after we did she was pregnant with my baby too. I regret everything I’ve done because my ex-wife was so good to me. When I told her what happened she left me and returned home to her own country and I never got to meet my children which was very unfair. I waited and thought she would come back but when her nine months were up I knew she wasn’t going to return. With her sister I am seeing the child. My wife is back in Germany at the moment because her sister told me and I’ve also seen her and my twins and they have grown up so well and I can see she has brought them up well but I want to be in their lives. How do I ask her to let me at least say hi and that I’m their dad? is there anyway I could win her back? I really love this woman and we never arranged a divorce? What I did is a complete mistake but she never got a divorce. She cant hate me then if she hated me why not get a divorce?

    My Response:

    Dear Remorseful;

    First of all – You kissed her by mistake? You don’t just accidentally fall and kiss someone and you don’t accidentally have sex with someone, let alone your wife’s sister…. Second… Yes; You made a huge mistake, the ultimate mistake. Not only did you cheat on her, you cheated on her with her sister and not only did you cheat on her with her sister you had a baby with her sister. If this woman took you back, I would say you were the luckiest man in the planet. I agree that although you made your mistakes that you should at least be allowed to see the babies. You need to first sit down with your wife and apologize for all that you have done, let her see that you are truly remorseful for what you have done to her and that although your relationship may never be the same you want to be a good father to your children. She probably hasn’t gotten a divorce for a few reasons, one she can’t afford it or two she just can’t bring herself to do it yet. Just because she left doesn’t mean she doesn’t love you. You cheated on her while she was pregnant with her sister and got her sister pregnant too. I don’t know how she forgave her sister, because you were both wrong in what you did. Communication is all you have here, try and talk to her and at least be in your children’s lives, but don’t expect to get back with your wife. Do this for your children and your love for them. Good luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • My boyfriend turns me down when I want Sex…

    The Question:

    Dear Kristin Nicole;

    I am constantly asking my boyfriend for sex and I have gotten to the point that I don’t like to ask, so I try to send subtle hints his way, but it still doesn’t seem to be working. We only have sex about once a month and it’s only when he wants to have sex. We live together so it makes it even harder. I try putting on sexy lingerie and I try telling him that I need him but nothing seems to work. I have used toys and tried spicing things up in the bedroom. Do you think that maybe he’s just not attracted to me anymore? If he isn’t I rather him be honest with me so that we can end things and I can move on, but I love him and I want to stay with him, I just can’t live a life where we only have sex once a month. Please help!

    Sincerely,
    ~Need Sex

    My Response:

    Dear Need Sex;

    I would sit down with your boyfriend and tell him face to face how you feel. Stop giving off subtle hints because that obviously isn’t working. Walking around in sexy clothes and trying to spice things up also isn’t working, so there is something definitely up with your boyfriend. Has he been acting strange other than not wanting sex? Maybe he is going through some stuff at work or in his personal life that you don’t know about and he’s stressed. Sometimes when people are stressed their sex life goes on hold. Or worse case scenario he’s with someone else. I am not saying this is the case, but if he was never like this before and all of a sudden he’s just not that into you, then something is going on. Find out what is going and find out what he wants in your relationship. You deserve someone who will pay attention to your needs, especially if you are asking for it, and especially if you are prancing around half naked. I know if I was walking around in lingerie my boyfriend would be on top of me faster than I could even say “come here”. So talk to your boyfriend and find out what is going on…

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • My Best Friend slept over my Boyfriend’s house…

    The Question:

    Dear Kristin Nicole ,

    Hi, I’m 18 and I’m having trouble trusting my boyfriend. Last night I had a dinner rehearsal for my friends wedding so I couldn’t hangout with him, so he went out with a bunch of his friends and he said he would be home by 1:30 and he would call me. He called me and of course I was sleeping so he left a voice-mail around 12:30 saying that hes going out to eat with a couple of his fiends and my best-friend, and then he carried on by saying that my best friend is sleeping over his house because she doesn’t want to go home… by the way (BTW) she is 18 and my bf is 19. She also left me a text sating ” hey I’m sleeping over your bf’s house ”. I am super mad at this situation right now and don’t want to talk to either one of them. I know if I did this to my boyfriend he would brake up with me ……. I don’t think this is okay at all. What should I do?
    Sincerely,
    ~Feeling Betrayed
    My Response:

    Dear Feeling Betrayed;

    You need to talk with your boyfriend. Having your friend or any girl sleep over his house is unacceptable. There is no reason for them to be hanging out together outside of the group of friends. This is only feeding temptation. If this is supposed to be your best friend, I would talk to her too because I am pretty sure she wouldn’t want you sleeping over her boyfriends house (if she has one). Right now you have to trust both of them and hope that they are telling you the truth with why she slept over. I would keep my eyes and ears open and talk to both of them and let them know how you feel.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • I cheated on my bf with my ex when he was in the hospital…

    The Question:

    Dear Kristin Nicole:

    I found your answer on a question on Yahoo, and discovered your website.
    I am really lost and don’t know what to do.

    I’m/was with my boyfriend for 4 years and he was the sweetest thing that ever happened to me. He’s really special, caring and loving and deep and I always thought that I don’t deserve him. Two weeks ago he went to the hospital to get operated and I cheated on him with my ex. I don’t know what got into me, I can’t even remember how it happened, it just did. I know that it’s disgusting, to make matters worse my boyfriend hated my ex and still do. My ex is the reason I got drug and alcohol addiction, he used to beat me and kick me out of the house.
    My boyfriend risked going to jail because he defended me and got into a fight with my ex. He always asked me to not speak with my ex anymore but I always got angry and yelled at him for not trusting me. Even though I know it wasn’t a trust issue but because my ex is evil, I just refused to erase him from my life.
    So the night in question, my ex came drunk to the house (my boyfriend’s house) and asked me to let him in. I refused at first but he convinced me. We got drunk and it happened. When I woke up I kicked him out and have been feeling like a piece of shit since. Few days later my boyfriend got out of the hospital, I refused to have sex with him (just the idea of having sex with him when I cheated on him when I cheated on him with the worst person nauseated me). So for days I was faking being ill and my boyfriend was very very worried about me, he didn’t suspect anything and thought I was sick. He stayed at home taking care of me (while he was the one that needed it), didn’t let me do anything, bought me all this organic stuff that is supposed to make me feel better. I seriously thought of killing myself, but didn’t have the courage.

    Yesteday, I came clean. I sent him a text message while he was out.
    I expected him to kick me out of the house (his house) or beat me up or anything but instead he couldn’t even walk and he started to cry saying no, no. It was horrible to see, he kept saying no, no and crying as if I was stabbing him.
    I didn’t know what to, I tried to hug him but didn’t have the courage.

    Now he’s at his sister. He texted me that he couldn’t believe I could do this to him, that he would never do such thing.

    My boyfriend has a history of betrayal. His father always cheated on his mother, then he went to live with an abusive uncle whe he lost his mother at the age of 13 and all these things are what made him special. He tried to kill himself when he was 16. He’s sweet and caring, everybody loves him. He’s very intelligent and mature, he raised himself and his sister by his own. He does benevolent work. Always sweet to living things. I remember that we had a big fight because I discovered a big mouse in our appartment and he didn’t want to kill it. I was afraid so he drove me to my parents at 2 am and then got back home and patiently caught the mouse. He always called me petite fée (little fairy) and always surprises me with romantic stuff. He’s really the most amazing and beautiful thing that ever happened to me. He was the only one that had faith in me, he paid my studies, and took care of me when I was pill addict. I have a history of being selfdestructive and seeking pain but this time I really fucked things up and I really want to repair it.
    I know he still loves me, but I know that I have to make things right. He’s all the help I need, and I really want to gain him back.

    My Response:

    Dear Regrets;

    I am not going to sugar coat what you did because I think you already know that what you did was wrong. You have recognized that you have had serious issues with being addicted to drugs and alcohol and you have recognized that you push those you love away. Example #1: Your boyfriend. What you did to him his unacceptable and I can’t tell you that what you did is okay because you were drunk. No person can convince another person to let them in their house, let a lone drink and get drunk with them and sleep with them. Why you did what you did, I don’t know and now you have to live with the consequences. Your consequences unfortunately might be loosing your boyfriend. The fact that you know all the details to your boyfriends dreadful past and the fact that he has lost people and lost trust in people is sad to see that you would do what you did, but I am not going to keep telling you that what you did was bad, because I can tell that you truly feel bad for what you did. Your boyfriend has every right to feel the way he does and move out of his house for a little, the fact that he has not kicked you out is another sign of what a good person he is. He may not want to speak to you and you may have lost your chance with a decent guy but you have to sit and talk to him and even if you don’t get back together you need to ask for forgiveness, tell him how bad you feel and see where it goes from there. There is a chance that he will forgive you, but you have a lot of issues you need to take care of. You first need to realize what a bad guy your ex is and finally letting him go and getting him out of your life is the first step into moving on. You need to first learn how to love and respect yourself and know that you do deserve love and respect and from there you can learn to to accept love and respect from others. You have to learn that being in an abusive relationship is not good and that you deserve better then that. Drugs and alcohol are not your friends and you have to trust in those who will be good to you and bring good into your life. If your boyfriend does forgive you, and he decides to stay with you, you have a lot of making up to do and you need to start with forgiving yourself and starting new. It is not going to be easy to gain your boyfriends trust in you but you have to first start with saying how sorry you are and asking for forgiveness. Good luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • My BF sucks his thumb after sex…

    Dear Kristin Nicole;

    My boyfriend and I have been together for about 6 months now. I am 22 and he is 25 years old. Whenever we have sex he rolls over and starts sucking his thumb; at first I thought he was just playing around, then it became consistent and I don’t know what to do. The sex is great so I tried to ignore it, but now it’s just weirding me out… Do I say something to him? I don’t think I can keep sleeping with him if he keeps sucking his thumb after sex, it’s a total turn off, what should I do?

    ~Stuck with a Thumb Sucker~

    My Response:

    Dear Stuck with a Thumb Sucker;

    If you really like this guy and more than just for the sex then I would ask him nicely why it is he sucks his thumb after sex. If he tries to ignore or dodge your question then perhaps there are some other issues there that you don’t want to deal with. Explain to him that you don’t really like it, but don’t tell him it weirds you out or that it’s a turn off just yet, try to ask him about it nicely and see what he says. Maybe he thinks you like it since at first you played it off thinking he was messing around, but at this point you have been together long enough for him to stop. If you are only really with him for the sex, then you have nothing to loose in asking him about his thumb sucking, and if things get even more weird then you have the option to move on or stay with someone who sucks their thumb after sex. You are young and trust me, there are plenty of men out there that don’t suck their thumb after sex.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • No anniversary sex?…

    The Question:

    No anniversary sex. Was I wrong to expect a little action from my wife?
    Yesterday was me and my wife’s 1st anniversary. We went to church as usual. I’m a Sunday school teacher so I left before her. After church I go by the store to get the last few thing so I could cook her dinner. Money is tight because I am unemployed so I couldn’t afford to take her out or anything like that. I ended up going to two stores. By the time I got home she was there sitting in the bedroom watching TV or reading a book or something. I spend several hours prepping and cooking dinner. The whole time I may have sat down for about 10 minutes. When it was ready I fixed her plate as well as the kids. We sit down to eat and just being off my feet for that short time when I stood back up my feet were killing me but I kept going. I asked my wife if she wouldn’t mind cleaning up the kitchen and she basically said no because I use too many dishes when I cook. I spent several hours cooking dinner then it took me all of 15 minutes to load the dishwasher and clean the kitchen. Nobody said she had to wash them by hand. All the while my wife has left the bedroom maybe 3 times. She was still relaxing on the bed. After I got the kids in bed and go back to the bedroom me and my wife watch a little more TV then the next thing I know is that she’s hugging her pillow snoring. Let me clear this up. Our kids are teenagers and I just made sure they had their clothes ironed for school the next day and that they turned off everything in the other part of the house. I turn off the TV and that sort of startled her and she wakes up. We’re laying there in the dark and I’m waiting to see if my wife was gonna make any kind of move. She doesn’t. I mean, it was our anniversary and she literally had done nothing all day. What was she tired for? What she tells me is, “why don’t you go on to sleep!”. I then get up and as I’m walking out she asks me what the matter is and I tell her that if she hasn’t figured if out by now then never mind.

    Did she expect me to make the first move? I thought women likes if when a man took on more duties and chores and that gets a woman in the mood? I did all that work and she pretty much rested bur once the kids were in the bed she was too tired. You hear it all the time. A man with a vacuum is a turn on. I guess the problem is this. I typically do most of the cooking anyway so maybe that was really nothing special to her that I cooked yesterday.

    Was I wrong to expect some action on our 1st year anniversary? And ladies, don’t come at me like “well maybe she wanted you to just wait on her this time!”. I do the majority of the cooking in the house anyway.

    Was I wrong to expect sex or at least a little action from my wife?

    My Response:

    Dear House Hubby;

    Let’s start off with the fact that it is your one year anniversary but you have teenage kids? Technically it may be your one year anniversary but I am assuming that you have been together for much longer than a year since you have teenage kids together. With that said, an anniversary is an anniversary, and although you do not have a job at the moment and normally cook, she needs to appreciate the fact that you do a lot around the house and for the kids. You need to sit down with your wife and tell her how you feel. Communication is key and if you do not talk to each other then nothing is going to change. She may think it is okay for you to do everything since you are not working at the moment, but the fact that you cooked, she should have helped clean up and do the dishes. Especially since it was your anniversary and all. I know it isn’t right and I think that your wife should have maybe set something up in the bedroom while you were out there being the ‘house wife’; but you also could have just tried spicing it up in the bedroom; especially after you saw she was not about to do anything. Again, I really think this should have been her move, since she didn’t do anything else the entire night, so I can understand how you are feeling. Talk to your wife, just because you are unemployed at the current moment does not mean she doesn’t have to help you around the house. On another note: Your kids are teenagers, they need to start helping you around the house. You could have had your kids clean up the kitchen so that mom and dad can enjoy their anniversary time together. Find a way to find a balance in your life and in your relationship.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • My boyfriend has started beating me?

    The Question:
    I have been staying with my boyfriend for a year, but recently he has started to lose his temper and beat me. He is kind and loving 90 percent of the time, should I leave him because you know the beating will never stop?

    My Response:

    Dear Abused;

    I think you already know the answer here. If you even have to ask then the answer should be obvious, but just in case…. My answer would be YES Leave him, and not just because he probably won’t stop, but because this is not love! Someone who loves you won’t dare put a hand on you, no only is it disrespectful but it’s physical abuse and no person should ever have to go through this. If he has a bad temper it could only get worse, he needs help and he is the only one that is going to have to want to get the kind of help he needs, but if you stick around it can only get worse from here. Respect yourself and Love yourself enough to get out of a relationship you already know is no good for you. Find someone that will respect you and love you and won’t lead to violence just because he gets upset about something.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • My boyfriends mum is having an affair what do I do?

    The Question:

    My boyfriend had told me that when he was younger his mum had an affair and his parents split up for a while but now they are back together. His mum goes out a few times a week dancing or with friends but always comes back at funny hours, considering clubs close at 3 she doesn’t come home until 6. I have also seen her sending text messages saying ‘you will always have my heart’ etc to an unsaved number in her phone which she then deletes. I want to tell my boyfriend or his sister but I don’t want to stress him out as he is coming towards the end of university and needs to concentrate on his work and his sister is getting married in June and I don’t want her family to be upset/arguing on her big day. Should I just ignore it?

    My Response:

    Dear Knows Too Much;

    This is a very hard situation to be placed in. If you don’t tell him, and he finds out you knew he might be upset that you didn’t tell him, but on the other hand it really isn’t any of your business. I would honestly more than likely stay out of it, at least for now until after your boyfriend finishes his exams and his sister gets married. And honestly I am sure they aren’t oblivious to the fact that the clubs close at 3am and she doesn’t come home until 6am. I am sure they have noticed this too and I am sure their dad notices as well. Perhaps they are in denial because they do not want to believe that she would do this to their family again. I would stay out of it for now. I am not sure how you even saw her phone messages, especially if she deletes it soon after, BUT just stay away from it all. After all the exams and wedding then decide if you can keep this secret from your boyfriend. Although this is not your business, he is your boyfriend, and trust is a big factor in any relationship. Put yourself in his shoes, would you truly want to know if your mother was cheating on your dad yet again? Or would you rather just not know???

    Good luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com