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Tag: Sex

  • My husband doesn’t want to have sex anymore…

    The Question:

    We have been married for 4 years and I am 25 years old and he is 28. I am sure my husband is still in love with me and tries to spend time with me as much as he can, and he is not cheating on me. But there is no sex drive between us anymore, the reason he gave for not showing interest in sex is that he’s got other ambitions to think about and he is not really into the sex any more.

    He was very passionate a year ago, and we had this financial instability for a while and since then it is changed. He cuddles with me and does everything just like in our newly wed days, but its been 3 months since we had sex… can anyone give advise other than going to therapist?

    My Response:

    Dear No Sex;

    If you don’t want to seek counseling I would recommend you first try to COMMUNICATE this to him. Sit down with your husband and tell him that you need to talk about the situation that you are in. Having other ambitions does not drive a man to not want to have sex, something else must be going on here. He is only 28, and I know many men at that age that are still driven as if they were 16 year old boys. 3 MONTHS is a long time, speak up and tell him what you want and what you need. Cuddling is cute and all but at the end of the day intimacy is so much more, and without it in your relationship things can go from good to bad. If you don’t think he is cheating on you, then find out what else it could be. You said that he mentioned he just wasn’t into the sex anymore? What is that about? How can a man not be into sex anymore, he’s only 28 for goodness sakes (Speak up because this is just not a good enough excuse). Most relationships where the man is not having sex can lead to a few different things (not necessarily cheating but it could be an option), he’s stressed over work, (and or you mentioned you had financial problems before) and maybe he’s still stressed over this and it is not totally fixed, this can make him a little too pre-occupied to think of anything else, or he is having some type of difficulty in the bedroom area and he doesn’t want you to know…either way which ever reason it is, it would need to be taken care of. So sit down and talk to your husband, don’t take the “I have too many things on my plate” excuse, we all do, but being together and working together in life is part of marriage.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Should I get involved with a newly separated (married) man?

    The Question:

    Should I get involved with a newly separated (married) man?
    He left his wife last month but they have been emotionally disconnected for years. He has been waiting for the kids to leave the house to be with me. I never pursued anything until they separated. I don’t want to end up hurt and my friends are telling me not to do it.

    My Response:

    Dear Involved;

    I’m a little confused as to why he is waiting for the kids to leave the house to be with you? How old are the kids? If they are young, then that is going to be a long time, and you have to think of two things. One – if he really wants to be with you, it is understandable that the kids come first, but to wait until they leave the house is to the extreme, if he really wants to be with you he would regardless of the kids, and he would introduce you into their lives. Two – If the kids are much older and almost out of the house, what is the problem?? Again he should introduce you to his kids, eventually being in the house or not they are going to find out about you. As far as him just being newly separated and the fact that he says he’s been emotionally disconnected for years can be him just saying that to make you feel better about the situation. However, he could really be over her, and ready to move on, although if that was the case (Why are you waiting for the kids to leave the house again)? Ask him straight out what he is looking for in a relationship, you do not want to waste your time on someone who isn’t ready to be in a committed relationship. It sounds to me like he might not be ready…
    Good Luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • I want sex with my dad!?

    The Question:

    I’m not a troll and this is real…..
    I’m a 17 year old guy and I want to have sex with my dad! I have seen his dick 2 times, once he was in the bathroom and I walked in and I saw it and I acted like I walked in on accident and once he was sleeping and I slowly pulled it out of his shorts. I really think he is hot I want him so bad! Don’t tell me anything about seeing a psychiatrist or finding help I know its wrong just tell me how!??

    My Response:

    Dear Beyond Strange;

    This question can’t be at all real, and if it is, I have to tell you what you don’t want to hear (YOU NEED HELP)!!! Are you freaken serious??? If you are gay it is fine, but wanting to sleep with your own father is just beyond gross, beyond weird, and beyond any other words I can even think about right now. You say you know it is not normal so why do you continue to walk in on your dad while he’s in the shower? The fact that you actually went into his room to try and take a peak of his goods is just not cool! You need to be honest with yourself and with your parents about what you are feeling and you need to seek the help you need. Good luck

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • I Slept with my twins boyfriend

    The Question:

    Like she wont speak to me and when she found out she pushed me down the stairs, it was a bit dramatic really. I think it is her boyfriends fault though he shouldn’t of done it. Shes a brat pushing me though, argh do you think that’s wrong ?

    My response:

    Dear twin;

    First how old are you? Second, she has every right to be mad at you, that is the ultimate betrayal from anyone let a lone a sister and especially a twin sister (usually twins are a little closer than most siblings). Perhaps your sister went too far pushing you down the stairs, but you aren’t physically hurt are you? If it were me, I might have kicked your a**. However, I am hoping that she dumped that looser of a boyfriend because if he’s willing to sleep with his girlfriends own sister the guy is a (well we won’t say what he is here, but you get my drift). It’s the boyfriends fault as much as it is yours. He didn’t force you to sleep with him, and his little wienie didn’t just fall into you, take responsibility and stop blaming only the boyfriend, it’s his fault as much as it is yours. Need advice DON’T sleep with your sisters boyfriend, friends boyfriends or anyone elses boyfriend. Perhaps you need to ask yourself why you felt you had to sleep with your own sisters boyfriend to begin with? Put yourself in her shoes, how would you feel if your sister slept with one of your boyfriends? Then come back and ask if she was over reacting. Beg your sister for forgiveness and hope that she forgives you and trusts you again, because if it was me I don’t think it would be that easy to forgive you or trust you again. Good luck and I hope you learned a valuable lesson here….DON’T SLEEP WITH ANYONE ELSES BOYFRIEND!

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • The ‘SEX’ Talk…

    The Question:

    Imagine that you are a parent and you find out your teenager is sexually active. How might you handle this situation? Would you prefer to know or not know?

    My Response:

    If I were a parent and found out my teenager was sexually active I would first take a breather, contain my thoughts and find a way to bring up the subject with out lashing out or pushing the teenager away. Teenagers are very sensitive and they tend to get shy around the subject of sex, especially with a parent. I would start talking to them at a young age so that I did not need to find out my teenager is having sex after the fact. I would be honest with them and I would tell them the consequences and actions sex has between a man a women, and I would ask them that when they were ready to have sexual intercourse to come to me and we would talk about protection. If I found out after the fact, I prefer to know about it so that I can talk to them and either buy my son condoms and talk to him about it, or if it was a girl, get her on birth control pills and also talk with her, because birth control pills only prevents pregnancy not sexually transmitted diseases, it is important to talk about all aspects of sex.

    In today’s society we forget that teenagers learn a lot at a young age, not only in school but in the media, blogs, magazines and more, but are they learning the right things? We need to be open about sex, it’s natural and there is nothing to be scared of, but if you rush into things and you aren’t careful, your life can change forever.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    ~I got this question from my Human Sexuality Course I’m currently taking~

    Love to hear your thoughts. xo

  • My spouse no longer wants Sex…

    The Question:

    What would you do if after having children, your spouse no longer wanted a physical relationship?

    My Response:

    Dear Not Getting Any;

    Communicate, Communicate & Communicate. Talk to your spouse ask them what is going on and why they have been distant. A physical relationship is very important in marriage or even if you are just dating. I am not sure if this question is coming from a man or women, so I’ll answer two different possibilities. If the husband is writing this, I can say that perhaps your wife is suffering from some sort of depression, sometimes after having children women can fall into postpartum depression (this can result in lack of sexual feelings), talk to your wife and a doctor to see what you can do. If this isn’t the case it can be that there is something else going on and unless you don’t talk to her you aren’t going to get the answer. If this is the wife then I can say that perhaps your husband is feeling overwhelmed, either with the children (not sure how old they are) or perhaps at work and it is taking his mind off the physical aspect of the relationship, not to say this is a good enough reason, but everyone reacts to things in life differently. Sit down with your significant other and find out what is bothering them. Without a physical relationship in a relationship, it can cause a lot of tension and that is not good for any relationship.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • What to do to fix my relationship?

    The Question:

    What to do to fix my relationship?
    About 4 days ago I said somethings I didn’t mean to say to the girl I love and I really hurt her and now she is saying she needs time to figure things out. I feel horrible about what Ive done and Ive done all I can to try and show her I care, before all this happen we were trying to have a child and making plans on moving in and marriage one day; now she acts like I never mattered and it kills me. Anyone have any ideas on what I should do or say to try to make things better?? I just don’t get how it went from so good to so bad with us…

    My Response:

    Dear boyfriend;

    It can be many things, I only know this one piece of the story, but look back into your relationship (as the whole) and was it really good (not perfect, because no relationship is perfect) but was it good? If it was and you really didn’t have any problems before this then maybe she’s just being a little over emotional, give her time, keep showing her how sorry you are and tell her you love her. If you guys have had a few problems (big) in the past perhaps this was the last straw and she’s using it as a way to get out. Sometimes we try to pick fights or we get mad over small things because we really aren’t happy in our relationships. I say sit down and talk to her, find out what is really going on and apologize for what you said. If she still is blocking you out, give her time and then try talking to her again.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • How do you keep the romance going when you have children in the house?

    The Question:

    How do you keep the romance going when you have children in the house? I would love to keep the romance going in my marriage, but it is a little more challenging since we’ve had a little girl (almost a year old). He’s away on business quite often as well, which makes it even more challenging… any ideas?

    My Response:

    Dear Romance;

    I know it’s hard because you are probably very tired since you are dealing with a one year old all day. However, just because you have a child in your house doesn’t mean the romance needs to stop. When your husband comes home from a business trip surprise him with dinner, put the baby down to sleep early and light some candles in your room and (well I don’t think I need to elaborate the rest) 😉

    If its a normal day, just make sure the baby is sleeping in her own room (I am not sure if the baby sleeps in your room with you guys, but if she does then that needs to stop.) A baby in the bed is what causes most marriages to have problems, sex is very important and you can’t let that flame die down. Spice it up, maybe get a babysitter and go out for the evening together, get a hotel for a few hours (if you can afford it), if you can’t, maybe act like a couple of teenagers and do some fun stuff in the car. When there is a will there is a way.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • What to do about husbands unusual sexual/metal health problem?

    The Question:

    My husband was 28 when we met and a virgin. When we started having sex, he opened up about being “different.” He wanted to wear panties and wanted me to make fun of his tiny penis. Didn’t love the stuff, but whatever. Now it’s a thousand times worse. He goes to Victoria’s Secret and tells the salesgirls he is being punished by his wife for wearing her panties and that I am “forcing him” to go buy some of his own. He told me he could see our neighbor undressing, so he tried to contact her to see if she wanted to humiliate him while he was dressed as a woman. And he recently “confessed” to a female coworker that he had a deep, dark secret he wanted to tell her. I confronted him, and he said he was going to tell her about me “forcing him” to wear panties and ask if she wanted to see his tiny penis! Now he tells he wants to flash women his panties so they can laugh at him.

    He sees nothing wrong with this behavior. I have children with him, this isn’t a joke, please help! He also is very mean, verbally to me and my children, says mean things and I just don’t know what to do.

    My Response:

    Dear Underwear;

    When you met your husband you knew what you were getting into, he showed his strange behavior almost from the start, now that it’s continued and worsened you want help? I just don’t understand how you didn’t see the signs from the beginning. No man wants a women to make fun of his penis and call it tiny, if anything they want encouragement that it’s nice and big. Your husband definitely has issues, and if you want to work things out and stay with him, you need to open up to him and go to counseling. See if he can get his urges under control. If he begins flashing people in woman’s underwear’s this can lead to more problems then what you already have. It’s hard because you have children, but you have to think about them first and foremost. If your children see their father in a woman’s underwear do you think that is okay? Communicate with your husband about how you are feeling towards this, ultimately it is going to be his choice to realize that he does have a problem and that it is not normal. Because this has been going on for so long and you accepted it, he may not understand why it’s such a big problem now. If he refuses to admit he has a problem and see professional help, you may have to make a decision to get him out of the house.

    Good luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Advice for living with a depressed person?

    The Question:

    My fiance is a manic depressive. We were engaged for 5 yrs, had a son. I was working full time 70 miles away from home, he was unemployed, staying home with the kids. The unemployment made him feel worthless and he stopped doing things around the house, was down 24/7, snippy, grouchy, etc. It got to the point where I left the house at 4am for work, got home at 6pm, and had to cook dinner, do laundry, bathe the kids, etc. I tried to help him, talk to him, love him. Nothing worked. He wouldn’t go to counseling because he didn’t have insurance, and he wouldn’t let me pay for it. After about a year or so, I couldn’t take it any more. I told him to move out. He left with nothing. He had no where to go. I felt horrible, but I felt like I had to do it to keep MY sanity and give my kids a good life. Flash forward. For the next “single” year of my life, I saw my ex-fiance at least 4 days a week. He would come to the house to see the kids, but he would spend most of his time telling me how much he loved me, how he had changed, and how he wanted his family back. He even admitted himself to a mental hospital for a few weeks and got on some meds. I am a pretty stubborn, independent woman, but after a year of this constant barrage of love and adoration, I gave in. I don’t want my kids to come from a broken home. My parents were married for 35 yrs before my dad passed. I thought I could make it work. It’s been 2 months. And about a month of that has been him being very insecure and depressed and just, well, weird. I am seriously considering just giving up. I don’t think I am a strong enough person to deal with an illness of this sort. He stopped taking his meds again because he doesn’t have insurance at his new job. I feel like a horrible person for not being able to deal with all this. I am afraid he will hurt himself if I make him leave again. His side of the family doesn’t really help him out, they don’t ever seem to see how serious things are. I guess I just need advice/opinions/and I’m sure I’ll get some haters.

    My Response:

    Dear Caregiver;

    You are in a hard position, because you have kids with this man I can understand not wanting them to grow up in a “broken home”, however with that said, is it any better for them to see their dad depressed all the time and acting the way he does and seeing you upset about it? It’s a hard decision and you have made it before, but I don’t find it selfish of you for thinking about yourself and your family before thinking of him. You can’t babysit him and if he can’t take control of his illness and find a way to take the medication to stay stable then there may be no hope for the two of you. Talk to him and explain to him that he needs to figure out how to get the medication or he needs to leave again. I know many people may find it selfish of you, or as if you were giving up, but sometimes we can’t control things in life, and we can’t fix them. You are an independent women and you will be fine; give him your support as a friend, and if you are truly madly in love with him, try to find a way to work things out, if you are staying with him just because of the kids, then re-evaluate your relationship and find a way to either stay together or move on. Living in a home with someone who is constantly depressed, insecure and so forth isn’t healthy for the children either, and don’t you think that is almost the same thing as a “broken home”?

    They will still have their father in their lives, and you will still be there for him as a friend, but you cannot stay with someone just because you feel bad for them. Live your life too, you deserve to be happy.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com