Just another WordPress site

Tag: Sex

  • I’m having sex problems with my fiance’, please help!?

    The-Question:

    My fiance’ and I get along great and in my opinion are very attracted to one another physically. The problem is that, during intercourse he comes quick. I’m talking 5-8 minutes! In the beginning it was not a big issue because he told me my body was just too good and he needs to get use to it. He does bring me to orgasm orally before sex, but like I said, “sometimes.”

    I have told him before that it bothers me and that I want to be pleased every time and his response was, “girls don’t need to *** every time” in a playful voice. I got pissed. I was so upset with him I called him selfish, inconsiderate, typical man…etc. He said what do you want me to do? Give you oral all the time? The way he asked made it seem like that was a bad thing as if he didn’t want to do it. We will have sex and in the middle he will stop to prevent himself from coming but I told him that just makes my arousal go down and now we have to start all over. I even give him oral before sex so that he can last longer but once he comes he’s tired and says his body can’t physically have sex. I even tell him sometimes before sex be prepared to go more than one round. Sometimes he does, but he still cums fast, and other times like last night he doesn’t even try to go again, he says he’s too tired. It gets to the point were I’m so angry I start throwing cheap shots or I make him leave the bed. Everything I have tried hasn’t worked.

    I read articles and books about teaching him how to please my body. I even tried to guide his hands to my sensitive spots and he’s groused out about touching my vagina. He doesn’t like the way that it feels and mentioned when he gives me oral he just closes his eyes so he doesn’t have to look. He quoted, “p***ies are ugly! I know what your thinking, how could I be with such a jerk? Besides the bedroom we have a really good relationship but our bedroom problems are now starting to effect my mood and how I feel about him as a whole. The reason I am so frustrated is because he has given me vaginal orgasms but only about 4 out of the hundredths of times we’ve had sex. I need for him to understand how important it is for me to have an orgasm too. We’re not trying to have kids so if we have sex it has to be enjoyable for both of us, if not why bother. I told him we’re going to have good sex or no sex. The reason why I am writing is because I am afraid that our sex problems will cause me to go astray. Not blaming or saying it is okay to cheat if your sex life with your partner is okay. But I must admit it has crossed my mind… Please Help….

    My Response:

    Dear Unsatisfied;

    Some men just can’t last long, and some can. Your man might be one of the few that can’t last long. This doesn’t mean he can’t please you in other ways… Sorry to say this, but he said “Vagina’s are ugly”. He actually said that??? He closes his eyes when he goes down on you, and that they are gross…. Okay this may be harsh to hear, but either your man is in the closet or he’s completely clueless. I am not sure how old you guys are, but this just doesn’t sound like a “GUYS’ GUY”. Most men like to please their women and give them oral sex, (yes not all the time), but they enjoy watching their women squirm for more. A man also NEVER and I mean NEVER says a vagina is “ugly” and or doesn’t like to touch it.

    Sex is a big part of a relationship; and if he is not satisfying your needs, don’t resort to cheating either talk it out and if things can’t change then you have a choice to make here. I understand the rest of your relationship is good, but this will definitely cause problems in the long run, and you don’t want to spend your time wasted on a man that can’t satisfy you. It sounds to me like you already tried helping him out and giving him hints as to what you like, and it seems to me like he isn’t getting it. Either live with the fact that he can’t satisfy you every time or move on and find a man that will. A man who is attentive in bed is a man you want around for a long time, a man who doesn’t care and calls your vagina “ugly”, feels it’s gross and doesn’t like touching it, is a man you have to truly question?!!

    Good luck

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Why does my wife no longer seem interested in sex?

    The Question:

    I am a devoted husband and father. I certainly help around the house, pay a substantial portion of the bills, and spend a lot of time with the children. I also keep myself in above average physical condition. I feel that everything is fine except our sex life. I try to be romantic (flowers/dinner), tell her how sexy she is, but my advances always seem to be met with opposition. This has gone on for about 3-4 years now. I’m not sure long I can accept a once a month or longer sex life.

    My Response:

    Dear Substantial Husband;

    You need to be open with your wife, maybe there is something going on with her that you don’t know about, and if it’s been 3 to 4 years of this, it’s time you get some answers. I know life gets busy and we all get tired, but once a month is unacceptable. Sex is an important part of a relationship and if you are doing all the right things (which it sounds like you are), helping around the house, being with the kids, staying in shape and being romantic then I really don’t see a problem here. Sounds to me, that your wife isn’t happy about something and the only way to find out what is going on is to straight out ask her. See if someone can take the kids for the weekend and sit down and talk to your wife about what is bothering you, a marriage a relationship is doomed with out communication, if you don’t talk about it now things won’t get better. It’s already been 3-4 years….don’t keep waiting to ask her what is wrong, and try to fix it and get that flame going again.

    xo
    kristin nicole

  • My husband cheated…

    The Question:

    My husband cheated .. should I see it as a free pass?

    My Response:

    Dear Free Pass;

    If this is a question you have to ask “is it a free pass”, then more than likely you are looking for that free pass to get out. It’s not so much of a free pass, but self respect, someone shouldn’t stay with someone who is cheating on them. If you have been looking for a way out, then definitely take this as your “free pass” to get out. Don’t use it as the only excuse though, if you were looking for a free pass, there was obviously something there that you already wanted out on.

    If you are talking about having a free pass to cheat, then no I don’t think it’s a free pass. Two wrongs don’t make a right, and if you are only going to be cheating on each other then there is no true relationship there, you might as well just get out now, and be with whoever you want to be with. There is no such thing as a “free pass”.

    Good luck.

    xo
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • He keeps sending me mixed signals…

    The Question:

    He yelled at me I’m driving him nuts!?!? I don’t know what’s up with him. He says I can’t do nothing by myself, how I’m always bored, how we have to do everything together, how I should find someone else to go out with and so on! The truth is I have more friends than him, I’m more outgoing, I’m more independent than him, everything he accused me for is a pure lie! The next minute he nagged how I don’t shower him with attention enough in public! Just after he told me I’m clingy. When I said OK, we won’t see each other every day, I’m fine with it. He said he wants to see me and he is always first to invite himself to come to me and so on. What is this about?!?!

    My Response:

    Dear Mixed Signals;

    It’s time to sit down with your boyfriend and have a heart to heart. Maybe he’s confused as to where this relationship is going, but he is definitely sending mixed signals. One minute he’s asking you to give him space and almost acting like a jerk so that you would break up with him, and the next he wants to spend more time with you and be with you. Sit down with him, and ask him openly what is going on? If you want to stay in this relationship tell him you love him and are committed but you can’t keep going back and forth with him sending you mixed signals. Sometimes men don’t know how to communicate there feelings and so they act out in other ways, men sometimes also try to fight with us for no reason when they are trying to get out of a relationship but don’t know how. Talk to him, without communication you won’t get passed this.

    xo
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Is there hope after love?


    The Question:

    “I don’t love you any more” I will never forget the day my wife told me those words…we have only been married for less than a year and been together for two years before that but it still felt like my my whole life was falling apart…people tell me I’m lucky we had no kids or that it happened now instead of 20 years down the road but that doesn’t seem to take away from the fact that I love her more than any thing…to be told your not loved by the person you built your world around will knock you down and I’m finding it very hard to get back up. I’ve moved away and I’m starting a new job but my hart seems to be stuck in the past, I still love her even thought I know there is no real hope of us ever being together again. I’ve started drinking which I never do but it seems to be the only thing that takes away some of the pain if only for a few hours; anyway this is not really a question its just me asking for others story of hope and recovery from losing love. Please tell me how you got over your loss of love and that’s its going to get better…right????

    My Response:

    Dear Lost Love;

    Being told by the person you think you’re going to spend the rest of your life with that they don’t love you anymore is heartbreaking, world shattering news. It’s like a train runs you over and you can’t move. A brick wall is standing in front of you and you don’t know where to go. Truth is, even though it hurts right now, and even though you feel like you will always love her and only her, time passes and does heal all wounds. It is true what people say, it’s better now that you didn’t have kids together, it’s better now than 20 years down the road after you lived half your life together, it’s just better now. This is true, but it doesn’t mean it’s going to make you feel better about the situation. You have to think though, did you want to stay in a marriage full of lies, filled with someone you loved so much but doesn’t love you back in return? Don’t you think you deserve to be loved the way you love them? There is no big secret about how to move on, there is no “do this”; “do that”, and you will get over it. Everyone is different and we all move on in different ways. As for your drinking, if it’s to try to make the pain go away, then that’s a problem, drinking doesn’t solve sadness, it only increases it. If you are noticing that you are drinking more, than you should be able to control it. It’s not easy moving forward when you thought you already had your life planned out with someone, but this is a new beginning, you have a new job a new place a new life…Think positive, I know it’s hard, but I promise, things do get better.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • My husband is too shy!?

    The Question:

    He gets worried when we go out, and just avoids people. If someone asks him a question or tries to start a conversation, he can’t speak and gets nervous and upset.
    He seems to be getting worse over the last few weeks. We stayed at his cousins house last week and he was to shy to ask where the bathroom was so he waited fourteen hours until we got home. What can I do?

    My Response:

    Dear worried;

    This is more than just being shy, have you guys gone to a therapist or a doctor to try and see what the problem is. There is something bigger here than just being shy. Your husband is a grown man and he waited 14 hours to get home to go the restroom (and he was at a family members house)? This sounds a bit too much to me. As for when he goes out with you he avoids people, perhaps he has a social anxiety problem where he doesn’t know how to control it and therefore gets nervous and rambles on when talking to others. Has your husband always been like this? Talk to your husband and see when this all started, then talk to a professional and try to figure out what you can do together to make it better.

    xo
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Found out husband of nearly 20 years cheated on me when we were dating?

    The Question:

    I’ve been married for nearly 20 years and I just found out that my husband cheated on me when we were dating with one of my friends for a short while. He says this was the only time he has been unfaithful and that he regrets it and he wishes it never happened. He sounds deeply sorry but I have no idea what to do. I am completely devastated and heartbroken but he is the love of my life and we have 4 children together.

    My Response:

    Dear 20 years;

    This isn’t something you are going to get over in one night, just because it happened 20 years ago. However, with that said, you should move on, you have to trust that your husband has been faithful to you for this long, especially if you have had no doubt otherwise. Talk to your husband and tell him how you feel, don’t hold your feelings inside and work things out. As for your friend, is this still your friend? I don’t know how I would feel about a “friend” not telling me about what actually happened, and holding this secret from me for so many years. Lies always seem to come out, one way or the other. I am not saying you should forgive and forget your husbands infidelity just like that, but if he’s been a good husband and father for the past 20 years then you should find a way to forgive him. Find a way to trust him again and keep that love that has kept you together for the past 20 years alive. It’s normal to feel the way you are feeling, don’t feel bad about how you are feeling and talk through your feelings.

    Good Luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Need help regarding my BF’s Ex…

    The Question:

    My boyfriend of two months just told me that his previous girlfriend is actually one of his good friends that I knew about. He apparently took a long time to get over her. They hang out as a group a lot even after they broke up and remain as good friends that contact each other frequently. She even told him that she liked him again but he said that he was too confused as she had cheated on him.

    She’s very pretty and outgoing, like him, but I’m an indoors person and I don’t share many interests as him. I keep feeling like he should be with her, so I keep hinting to him that I wouldn’t mind if they got back together again. He tells me he loves me everyday, but I just feel so insecure.

    How can I stop feeling this way??

    My Response:

    Dear Insecure;

    First if you are trying to push him to be with his ex, then what is the question here? If you love this guy be with him, if you don’t feel that you have a future move on. If he’s confused then he needs to sort his feelings out and figure out what he wants. There are some ex’s that can remain friends, but I think it puts a strain on the new relationships. I do not think it’s fair for you to have to feel comfortable with them talking all the time and even hanging out, especially after she’s told him that she still has feelings for him. You need to make a choice, sit down and stop feeling insecure, talk to your boyfriend, and if he loves you, you are going to have to trust that what he’s telling you is the truth, and if you feel you can’t trust his feelings, then you will have to make a choice, whether to stay with him and see where it goes or move on now and be with someone you have more interest in common with.

    Good luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • What would you do if you were in love with your friend’s girlfriend?

    The-Question:

    My friend and his girlfriend have been together for 11 months and are happy and in love but I think I’m in love with her. I’d never do anything about it and even when they broke up I wouldn’t as she’d be his ex but I can’t stop thinking about her. What would you do?

    My response:

    Dear ‘friend’;

    I don’t think you are in love, I think you are infatuated with the idea of love. You see your friend happy with another girl, a girl that is easy to get along with because you like her as a friend, pretty, interesting and it’s easy to get all these mixed feelings. If you are a true friend and they are happy then leave it alone, try finding yourself another girl to date (there are plenty other girls out there other then your friends girlfriend), never go for the friends girlfriend, unless you want to risk loosing your friendship. If they break up and time has passed you can always ask your friend if he’d mind you dating her but even if he said yes things may be awkward and the girl might not feel the same way about you. You will still be risking your friendship. Some guys don’t mind if a friend dates an ex girlfriend, or at least that’s what they say to your face, but put yourself in his shoes, would you want him dating one of your ex-girlfriends? I’m not sure why you are even thinking about “if” they broke up if you say they have been together for 11 months and in love. I say just keep moving, don’t stop, and find another girl, NEVER go for your friends girl unless you don’t care about your friendship.

    Good luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    Found on Answers.Yahoo.com