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Tag: young

  • Advice Column: Bad kisser but good in bed

    Advice Column: Bad kisser but good in bedDear Kristin Nicole;

    My boyfriend “Jason” and I, have been together for over a year and most of that we were long distance. As in every relationship, he was amazing at the beginning, and he still is as a boyfriend – he treats me well, he never lets me pay, he gives me compliments every single day and doesn’t complain about me at all, but there are certain things that make me wonder whether I want to be with him long-term. He doesn’t have a higher education which is fine with me, but he still doesn’t have a clue what he wants to do in the future. He has a part-time job and lives with his parents (he will be 24 soon). I gave him a few ideas what he could do and he liked those jobs, but he would have to undertake some training which he isn’t very keen on doing. I feel like he thinks he is still a teenager and has his money just for fun (yes, after 7 years out of high-school he hasn’t saved much). Also, although he treats me well, he isn’t the nicest person, he shouts at his parents, calls him mum ‘bitch’, tweets random people to ‘fuck off’, simply he is a bit aggressive. Lastly, we doesn’t share the same sense of humor and he is a bad kisser. Good in bed, but a bad kisser.

    I don’t want to leave him because I don’t want to hurt him and he gives me security, but I am young, I shouldn’t worry about finding another boyfriend.

    Thanks for your time and help 🙂
    ~”Katie”

    Names have been changed for privacy purposes. 

    My Response:

    Dear Katie;

    It sounds to me like you are just settling to be with this guy. He’s turning 24 soon and it sounds like he has a lot of growing up to do. You pretty much summed up reasons why not to be with him, can you think of any reasons why you should be with him? You have to think about your future, do you see yourself with a man like this? Not having an education isn’t the worst thing, and like you said it isn’t a big deal, but the fact that he doesn’t want to try and work is a totally different situation. He needs to figure out what he wants to do in life, what career, and what path he plans on taking, because if everything in life is a negative now, imagine how it will be later down the road.

    You stated; “lastly we don’t share the same sense of humor and he is a bad kisser. Good in bed, but a bad kisser.” There are so many other people out there who you will have things in common with. Being with someone and sharing things you both like is a big thing to have in a relationship. If you feel that you don’t share the same humor or personality, that can be a problem. As for being a bad kisser, you can always try to train him and tell him how you like it. You are young and you have so much time to find someone that you are more compatible with. Don’t waste time on a boy (and I say boy because he hasn’t grown up yet); when there is probably something better waiting for you out there. If you truly love him, truly madly, deeply can see yourself spending the rest of your life with him, then sit with him and tell him how you feel, try to get him motivated into changing his life around. Good luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

     

  • Is it wrong to feel this way about my wife?

    The Question:

    Me and my wife dated 7 months, got married, and now we are almost married a full year. We almost got divorced 2 different times, one was a week ago. She has a bad emotional past (family divorces, alcoholism in two fathers) and we don’t share much in common, we were attracted to each other sexually very much, and developed a friendship and evolved into love. Lately it hasn’t been good, past few months have been crappy. When it gets good though, I always seem to wish she would be this girl I have in my head, who wears dresses all the time and is extremely feminine and sweet. My wife never wears dresses (it sucks!) and is more “country” than “feminine city girl”. I knew this going in, but now I just wish she would be like that. What do I do? Is there a real girl out there to fulfill this need of mine or maybe just stick with my wife, who I have a relationship with and shared many memories with? I just don’t wanna miss out on anything in life. Sometimes it sucks because I like video games and good movies and she hates games and likes one type of movie. Also she always seems too “sick” or “hurt” to do anything or go anywhere fun. She is on meds for Arthritis and a couple other things. (we are both 22 years old). She also has self esteem issues, she is codependent on others too. I wish she was independent. She has had many jobs but quite them all for various reasons. any advice?
    ~Too Young

    My Response:

    Dear Too Young;

    It sounds to me like you got into this marriage way too fast. If you love her, try talking to her about how you feel, try perhaps marriage counseling. If you are staying with her just because you feel bad and you aren’t truly in love with her then maybe the best thing to do is go your separate ways. You are both very young and you have so much left to do in your life. If you don’t have any kids this is the easiest divorce that you can have, just split what you have and move on. There are many other women out there that you can have more in common with, next time though, don’t get married so quickly and really get to know the person you are with. No one is ever going to like the same things 100% of the time, but each person has to be willing to try and do the things their partner likes. If you love your wife, try talking to her first, maybe she would be willing to wear dresses more often and watch a different type of movie every now and then, if she really isn’t willing to try and you just aren’t in love with her anymore then you have a decision to make.
    Good luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com